One day, “out of the blue,” when I was trying to find ways to help my clients, the idea of writing a list of Ten LoveCommandments came to mind.
My clients and research participants ask me many questions, and one of the most common one is: “How do I keep that spark alive with my partner?”
... Views: 25
This question obviously applies mainly to people who have their own children, but can equally apply to people who as children are aware of their own upbringing, and can also apply to how an individual treats other people in his life who he effectively has some responsibility for, either at work ... Views: 18
The answer to this to some extent depends on who the person is, and what the behaviour is, and how much their behaviour affects you and in what ways. Obviously this is a very broad question but there is an important point behind it, in terms of an individual's willingness to let other people be ... Views: 25
The reality of how much time and thought you give to your family is of course in many ways a unique question that can only be answered by the individual themselves. The reason it is so important is because in a significant number of cases the amount of focus that an individual puts on the family ... Views: 37
Many years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it
by Edwin Markham
He drew a circle that shut me out
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a ... Views: 49
Dr. Romance wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving!
A lot of people aren’t very good at looking at the positive. I hear a lot of negativity, blaming and complaining daily in my counseling office, and I find the more negative people are, the worse their lives work. Talking about how bad it all is seems ... Views: 37
It’s difficult enough to meet someone who seems like a good love match. But then, over time, things happen between you and your partner that make you wonder: “Is this the right person for me?”
It seems as though it should be such an easy question to answer. But once you fall in love, your ... Views: 39
Richard and I just indulged in our favorite December traditionwe watched our favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge! the musical starring Albert Finney) which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year.
No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, ... Views: 55
Here is the age-old question: Can a man and woman be friends and stay strictly platonic? The answer is “Yo and Nes”—each word, as you can see, is a combination of Yes and No. So, how do you know if your friendship with a person of the opposite sex might cross over into “dangerous ... Views: 34
"It’s the most wonderful time of year" for some, filled with anticipation and excitement. And, it’s the most difficult time of the year for others who are barely putting one foot in front of the other due to illness or sadness. Now’s your chance to bring some holiday cheer to someone who could ... Views: 71
If your spouse is an alcoholic, knowing how to help him or her can be challenging. Addiction puts a severe strain on even the healthiest marriage. But if he or she is prepared to attend a comprehensive recovery program such as Willow Tree Recovery, you may be on the path to a healthier life ... Views: 32
Many of us wish to become entrepreneurs to become their own boss. But while it sounds exciting and easy to run your own business, entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. Successful businessmen actually make more sacrifices than any ordinary career person would. One common observation is that ... Views: 100
How Women Can Boost Their Travel Mindfulness & Intuition
I’ve been fortunate enough to travel a lot – often alone – to give workshops and talks. I’ve also lived in another country that is very different culturally from my home in the United States. I mention this information because I was ... Views: 38
Only 16% of all murder victims are members of the defendant’s family?
That’s according to the PDF file that pops open (or opens in your browser) when you click this link – and you must have the free Adobe Acrobat reader to see it. (Fortunately, it is included with most computers ... Views: 50
Don’t tell me you actually believe that Pilgrims, dressed in black, sat down with Indians, wearing feathers and colorful beads, for a big meal of turkey, cornbread, cranberries and pumpkin pie and created what we know as Thanksgiving?
If you do, we need to talk. Fast. It’s almost ... Views: 87
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm having problems with my daughter in law . I I love her. She and my son had a relationship for more than fifteen years and were married for six. They have two preschool age children. I always thought My daughter-in-law and I got along, but now we can only ... Views: 71
"Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers,
Blossoming even as we gaze
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another,
Laiden with happiness and tears…"
- “Sunrise, Sunset,” Fiddler On The Roof
As any parent will know, the moment a child is ... Views: 86
Yep—soon it will be time for you to get: HOLIDAY SEASONAL STRESS DISORDER.
Symptoms of this disorder include:
Dreading being with some of your family members—and not knowing how to fend off those not so nice family comments about YOU!
Feeling lonely and unhappy
Spending too ... Views: 60
The family setting is an interesting arena that is rife with a gamut of emotions, trials and tribulations
Sometimes relationships can get strained and individual family members can be singled out to bear the brunt of the family strain.
Scapegoating is something that happens in any setting, ... Views: 44
What is PLAY?
Image via Flickr
Play is simply a time for kids to use their toys and have fun ... or at least that's how it seems.
One day I watched my three children play. My eldest boy, Miggy (7 years old) took out his lego blocks while his younger siblings, Julia and Mikee surrounded him. ... Views: 109
Consider the following examples for a while:
a. You are on your way and you come across a mother with her sweet toddler child. You start cuddling him/her and ignore the mother totally (no eye contact)
b. You meet someone you know on your way, with his or her spouse. For you, the spouse is a ... Views: 112
When life throws us a curve, the gift of a "spa moment" can be the perfect touch. A local spa offers healing relief and is perfect for those who can’t venture far from home or the hospital.
Since spas typically offer a variety of massages, manicures, pedicures, facials, and packages, a ... Views: 192
I love traveling. I love it so much that while I am on vacation, I am already planning my next one! But I sure don't like packing. And unpacking is even worse! I must be a slow learner because it took years of making mistakes to learn what to take and what to take it in. You may not use all ... Views: 98
Travel is great medicine for boosting your sex and love life. Don't have the money or time? Don't worry. All you need to do is cut back on a few unnecessary purchases such as that magazine, or comfort food, or that movie that you don't really need - and then find a day and a half to be together. ... Views: 91
I am really angry—and sadden by how the media and the National Football League handled the domestic violence incident of Ray Rice against his fiancé, Janay Palmer, who is now his wife. For those of you who don’t know the details, here is a recap.
On Monday, September 8, 2014, the Baltimore ... Views: 115
Secrets to Hiring Smart: New Ways to Mix Wisdom with New Formats, Questions and Intuition
In my career the task of hiring always landed on my desk. There were other “sets of eyes” on the potential employee, but I was often the first or last set of eyes. Over the years, I relied on a unique ... Views: 75
It’s very scary to think you found Your Soul Mate, but you found instead Your Love Nightmare. What went wrong?
Getting smart about dating, mating, and relating relies, in part, on maintaining your ability to turn on your awareness lights about your observations of you and others. You are most ... Views: 86
If you have never been in an abusive relationship, it’s easy to think: Why doesn’t the person just get out of it?
Well, think of these things:
An abuser knows exactly what emotional buttons to push in his or her partner.
The abuser is a master of finding that chink in the partner’s ... Views: 96
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Love Child - by Rev. Kelli Wilson - Find It. Feel It. Heal It.
Do you ever look at your child, I mean really look at him or her and think to yourself, “Wow, here is an amazing small human being in my care”? Of course you do, you’re a parent.
I have been given the amazing responsibility to care for these human beings to the best of my ability for at ... Views: 133
If you have experienced the loss of a loved one by suicide, you have a challenging journey ahead of you. Not only do you suffer heart wrenching grief from your loss, but also from the fact that she chose to take her own life. You may wonder if you could have done something to prevent it. You may ... Views: 107
Robin Williams’ recent death left many of us, who didn’t even know him, feeling bereft. How could he, who was loved by millions, take his own life? How could his life have been so unbearable that he had to end it? And how do we cope with the aftermath?
About 40,000 people in the U.S. commit ... Views: 94
We tend to give our partners more than second chances—even when they have betrayed, disappointed or hurt us physically or emotionally.
It’s as though we’ll do almost anything to defend against rocking the boat, and being alone or wrong about our love choices.
In this brief article ... Views: 84
The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rocks the world. This hand also prepares the family’s meals, drives kids to school, pushes the swing, gives a pat on the back, and lends itself selflessly, among many other wonderful things a mom does for her family.
What are the traits of a ... Views: 176
When I read a recent article citing single mothers for the recent decline in newspaper sales I was appalled. I couldn't believe Chris Powell, the Managing Editor of the Journal Inquirer, actually blamed single moms for his not being able to sell more newspapers. What shocked me even more than ... Views: 103
Even through my 38 weeks of pregnancy, I never once imagined what motherhood would be like. I really never thought about being a single mom. Yes, you hear things will change, but I never truly understood it, which seems to be the case with most things, until you experience them.
After ... Views: 122
One area that is sometimes overlooked when scheduling your kids’ time is how important it is to allow independent play.
It might not be necessary to have a literal scheduled block of time for play, especially if play still comes naturally to both you and your children, but if you find that ... Views: 213
Are statistics about the odds of women finding love and happiness getting you down?
Don’t fret — get smart and think about you instead!
Virtually all of the women in my study for my books said they had trouble “turning down the background noise” about what statistics and ... Views: 109
The suicide of Robin Williams has shaken—and awakened us up. News of his death has made many of us think:
If someone with family, fame, and fortune could do that, could that happen to someone like me who doesn’t have all those things?
I’ve been feeling really down lately, and ... Views: 141
Have you ever thought that you found The One—only to realize later after much heartache that the person was The Wrong One?
Finding healthy love is so important to your mental and physical health. It’s unfair that it’s so difficult to find the right person. It’s not fair. Here ... Views: 141
Dear Dr. Romance
I am mindful that I am allowing my soon to be controlling, narcissist ex ( civil law attorney) to run circles around me, just as we did when we were married. After attending a divorce group session at my local church, they recommend that I set up some specific boundaries ... Views: 259
Dear Dr. Romance: I read your newsletter "How to Heal a Rift with an Adult Child" with joy, how you simplify things for us. I already tried by email, but it got more complicated.
I received two emails, the second one, had a picture with the message ''see what you ... Views: 214
Summary: Obedience to the laws of physics has put men on the moon. Freedom, Health, Happiness and Prosperity are based on obedience to laws. Re-writing those laws will not get us to the moon, and it can hijack us from a higher destiny in life.
If we Google Newton's Laws, we find a daunting ... Views: 201
No matter how successful and seasoned you are, you may still experience setbacks and disappointments.
Setbacks come in many shapes and sizes for each of us. Sometimes they are small, while other times they’re huge — or perhaps they just feel that way.
Read this sentence out loud several ... Views: 131
Parents do have a strong effect on their childrens personalities. Usually their attitude towards their kids and towards others is very important. Most of parental concerns are about kids education, leisure, social life and behavior in general, in terms of how they are getting along with all ... Views: 174
I was deeply saddened to learn about the recent death of Hall of Fame baseball player Tony Gwynn. Tony was a star for the San Diego Padres in the 1980s and 1990s. In addition to being an incredibly talented and accomplished athlete, he had an infectious smile and personality. I didn’t know ... Views: 311
Uh-oh—another study about women’s unhappiness at home. The sociologist Arlie Hochschild wrote in her 1997 book, “The Time that Binds,” that time at home with spouses and children was more stressful than time at the office. The author described home as a place where couples had ... Views: 157
Father’s day reminds me of many years ago when I attended a different church. The pastor there was the head of the jail ministry at the local county jail. He would tell us of how on Mother’s Day they would bring Mother’s Day cards so that the inmates who were so inclined could send a card to ... Views: 216
Here are some thoughts that might surprise you. There is not necessarily a type of person who cheats.
Even nice people can be cheaters—and this concept can cloud your ability to see the signs that your partner is a cheater.
How many times have you watched true crime ... Views: 180
It might surprise you that size may not be the most important factor in choosing your cabin. Location and the amenities that are included in your cabin’s category can be much more important. Here are some tips to help you select the cabin that is best for you.
You may not be able to fulfill ... Views: 192
An adoption can be a stressful situation for all parties involved, and that is why planning is so essential. For those that want to make this process as smooth as possible, here are a few simple tips to keep in mind before and during the adoption.
Make Use of the Waiting Periods
An ... Views: 179