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Sometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ... Views: 8
Do you know how much of your time and energy is wasted by the constant flow of negative thoughts through your conscious mind? Do you know those thoughts behave like "friction" in the mind slowing you down and making life feel difficult and effortful?
Do you know those thoughts undermine your ... Views: 12
Take a step back, get clear on what you desire, but don't forget to be grateful for the things we might think are obstacles...the delays. Oh yes, the waiting game that we can't stand playing! Grrrrrrr!
Those little 'boulders' on the path of life are just minor obstacles that cause us to slow ... Views: 28
Most people have heard the phrase "random acts of kindness", which refers to a selfless act of giving resulting in the happiness of another person. Terms like this are increasing in popularity around the world, as more people identify a deficiency in their lives that can only be fulfilled by ... Views: 21
We're all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations.
Take a moment to get a sense of your own load. It's very real, isn't it? Recognizing ... Views: 12
A positive attitude can make the difference between success and failure, yet too many individuals struggle with the creation and maintenance of a positive outlook. Why is that and can anything really be done to permanently fix this problem? Yes!
A positive attitude, believe it or not is ... Views: 40
Living by Likes
It’s funny how sometimes life sneaks up on you and catches you by surprise. I had some occasion of inspiration recently to examine the way I have been thinking, the way I have been living and the general direction of my life. It was not something I planned on doing, it just ... Views: 30
Relieving yourself from stress at work (or any stress, for that matter) might be much more important than you think. We often tend to overlook this issue and accept it as an inevitable fact. Of course work is stressful, but does it really have to affect you that much? Is there an easy way to ... Views: 31
If you've ever struggled with unwanted negative intrusive thoughts you may be relieved and surprised when I say that they don't originate from you. Yes, they're inside you but because they are a) unwanted and b) intrusive means they come from something "inside you" that is "not" you. Here's why ... Views: 32
Lately I've been writing about the fifth of my personal Top 5 practices (all tied for first place): open out, by which I mean relaxing into a growing sense of connection, even oneness, with all things. (The other four are be mindful, love, take in the good, and go green.)
"Opening out" can ... Views: 18
Last week was amazing. I spent 4 mesmerizing days in Amsterdam. Yes, I am talking about the beauty of the city with its history and architecture, with timeless canals and cobbled ‘straats’, with wild trams that stop for no one and even wilder bikers who own the roads and the sidewalks.
But I ... Views: 22
I admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ... Views: 29
Each day you wake up if you could decide how you wanted to feel what would that be?
Well after some thought I'm sure that you would come up with some or all of the following: at peace, calm, happy, contented, joyful, free, relaxed, healthy, light, care free, playful, grounded, present, ... Views: 52
What do we need to do to see ourselves in an entirely new way?! How about deciding what we would like to accomplish; then, pursuing our goal until it is positively achieved. Truly these are appropriate steps in any successful goals process. Regardless if the goal includes issues related to ... Views: 125
Life has a way of wearing on you. Sometimes things go your way and sometimes they don’t. Regardless if life has knocked you down, or someone has, it is up to you to get back up! One million bad things could have happened to you, but it is up to you to stand back up. When you do get back ... Views: 61
As general categories that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 practices (all tied for first place) are:
* Be mindful
* Take in the good
* Go green
* Open out
So far, I've written about the first four of these, and you can click the links just above for some ... Views: 26
"Peace" can sound merely sentimental or clichéd ("visualize whirled peas"). But deep down, it's what most of us long for. Consider the proverb: The highest happiness is peace.
Not a peace inside that ignores pain in oneself or others, or is acquired by shutting down. This is a durable peace, ... Views: 42
When you work with and support others, do you experience: Feeling drained? Do you desire them to "get better"? Do you take on one more client because there is no one else? Are you attached to them making progress?
When I first heard the expression Divinely Selfish- I experienced a lot of ... Views: 81
It is good to explore the difference between exerting effort and applying oneself to something. The clarity that comes from that understanding can help us lead a peaceful life. One can then move on to sensing the deeper aspects of living on this planet.
We often feel elevated when we see a ... Views: 99
Perhaps you’ll agree that when something is bothering you, it prevents you from being at peace. In truth, the more we try to figure out “what-to-do” or “what-not-to-do” actually keeps the situation from changing. Take a moment and look at this consideration more carefully. Whatever we are ... Views: 55
The title of this practice is a little tongue-in-cheek. What I mean is, most of us - me included - spend time worrying about criticism: past, present, and even future. Yes, try hard, keep agreements, "don't be evil," etc. But sooner or later - usually sooner - someone is going to point out the ... Views: 40
Life can feel like a perpetual classroom. You’re constantly learning. Sometimes you make mistakes and other times you get a gold star for your achievements. Once in a while, a particular lesson alludes you, no matter how many times you experience it. When frustrations build, you might consider ... Views: 43
Does it ever feel like the negative thoughts intruding on your mind have a mind of their own? Does it ever feel like you are losing the battle waged at trying to reclaim full ownership over your freewill? Well that's because those negative thoughts are trying to hijack your mind and your life ... Views: 115
You may have seen the old Mickey Mouse movie in which he is working at a conveyor belt in a factory. More and more widgets come at him that he has to handle, and he gets increasingly frazzled as he struggles to keep up.
Do you ever feel the same way? Think about all the dishes, emails, ... Views: 43
Negative thoughts can wreak havoc on one's life making them feel like some foreign and unwanted force has taken over their mind and is tormenting them from within. It must be noted however that it is empowering to recognize and affirm to one's self that those negative thoughts although inside ... Views: 81
The Power of Expectation
Did you know that your life and body as it is right now is a result of what you expected to come about in your life? Did you know that because of the Law of Perception, what you perceive as “good” or “bad” will, in fact, be drawn to you, whether you like it or ... Views: 65
[Note: This JOT is adapted from the first chapter of my book, Hardwiring Happiness.]
I've hiked a lot and have often had to depend on what was in my pack. Inner strengths are the supplies you've got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life. They include ... Views: 44
I can’t sleep,” Shelly said. “I mean, I don’t have much trouble falling asleep. But then I wake up at three in the morning and can’t get back to sleep.”
For Shelly, it started with a combination of a fast-paced job and the hormonal changes of pregnancy. While those things started her insomnia ... Views: 104
Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how ... Views: 110
Do you know how self doubt creeps into your decisions and puts the brakes on your motivation and enthusiasm to take action? Do you know how much of your life gets wasted by this unnecessary negative emotion? Do you know however that self doubt can be easily, rapidly and permanently deactivated ... Views: 107
By "war" I mean here a mindset, not combat between nations with tanks and bombs. The "war" I'm referring to is an attitude of conflict and animosity toward a person, object, or condition. Parents can feel at war with a misbehaving teenager, and certainly vice versa. Neighbors quarreling over a ... Views: 49
So why is it that some individuals find themselves ravaged by a weakened will? To answer this it's necessary to understand the underlying causes of this problem. If you look at your own personal experience you'll readily see that your will is weakened by the multitude of other thoughts, emotions ... Views: 88
Negativism is always limiting
You put on side cover and limit your view.
It’s easy to fall into the negative mode when things don’t come out the way you planned or are threatened by changes, but there lies an opportunity!
Hindrances can be opportunities in disguise
We often set ... Views: 44
If there is one thing that we would like to change, it would be the notion that we can change something that has occurred in the past. Perhaps you may agree that if something occurred in the past, we can accept what happened and choose to begin moving forward. We can decide to change how we ... Views: 85
Want to try a little experiment?
Stop breathing. Really. For a few seconds, maybe a few dozen seconds, and see how it feels.
For me, this experiment is an intimate way to experience a deep truth, that we live dependently, relying on 10,000 things for physical survival, happiness, love, and ... Views: 48
Do you know that negative thoughts are generated deep in your subconscious mind for the express reason of controlling you and your actions? Do you know this means you already live in a "Matrix-like" mental prison in which your mind has been violated without your knowledge or consent? Does this ... Views: 106
Do you know the possibility of being permanently free of any/all limiting beliefs is now at hand? Do you know it requires that you commit yourself to being personally honest with yourself about what is "you" and what is foreign (mental propaganda) programming that has been downloaded into you? ... Views: 77
Research shows that relationships are built from interactions, and interactions are built from moments. A critical moment in an interaction is when one person wants something from the other one. ("Wants" include wishes, needs, desires, hopes, and longings.) The want could be simple and concrete, ... Views: 54
The Subconscious Source of Negative Emotions
Most individuals are more aware of physical aches and pains than of their emotional counterparts. The latter, hard to clearly define or pin down include feeling states such as low self esteem, worry depression, feelings of inadequacy, low self ... Views: 100
Do you know that most people walk around with a chorus of negative voices sounding off in the back of their minds causing a great deal of confusion, distraction, loss of resolve, self doubt, lack of focus and concentration, indecisiveness, loss of energy and enthusiasm, reduced confidence and ... Views: 115
“It won’t work!” “It can’t work!” “No way, no how!” So basically what we are really holding in mind, is, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Clearly this is not how an article should begin if it is titled "Only the Best." And yet, this is what most of us are doing, most of the time. We ... Views: 158
Goodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. These intentions are expressed through action and inaction, word and deed, and-especially-thoughts. How do you feel when you sense another person taking potshots at you in her mind? What does it feel like to take potshots of ... Views: 59
I’ve been dealing with a lot of unwanted changes, and it’s not easy. Losses, disappointments, changeswe all struggle when life doesn’t go our way. Why is it so hard to handle change? Then there are the changes we want to make, fight hard to makelosing weight, giving ... Views: 97
Perhaps you’ll agree that absolutely nothing about stress feels good. Stress is basically feelings based on insecurities of not knowing what to do about a particular situation. Stress feels angry, confusing, and sad. Stress also feels anxious, irritating, depressed, and fearful. Sometimes these ... Views: 166
"You are confined only by the walls you build yourself!"
Rationalizing is something we do when we don't want to face the truth.
Rationalizing is something we use to make what just happen ok in our eyes.
Rationalizing is a tool for survival when things are too bad to ... Views: 124
As the most social and loving species on the planet, we have the wonderful ability and inclination to connect with others, be empathic, cooperate, care, and love. On the other hand, we also have the capacity and inclination to be fearfully aggressive toward any individual or group we regard as ... Views: 69
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your article "Motivation And How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)" and found it very interesting. I understand your point about celebrating and appreciating yourself to motivate your inner potential. However I am confused about how to order my brain for ... Views: 121
Do you know that negative thoughts are inherently intrusive because a) they do not actually originate from you and b) they serve only to de-focus your conscious mind and hijack your freewill into making choices that are repeatedly self destructive? Do you know those negative thoughts are ... Views: 115
I'm old enough to remember a time when people usually answered "good" when you asked them the standard, "How are you?" (often said "harya?"). These days the answer is commonly "busy."
In the last few months I've been very busy myself and starting to feel dispersed: juggling a dozen priorities ... Views: 65
Did you know that the absence of worry is the state of Supreme Self Confidence? So by getting rid of worry altogether means one can achieve this much treasured state. The only question, which I answer here, is how does one actually accomplish this?
Worry is a state which is supported by ... Views: 93