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It all began when I was studying psychology in college in the 1960’s. That’s not as far back as you think. Just think of Abraham Maslow writing his paper in 1943 on what he called the “Hierarchy of Needs.” Both he and his pyramid have been revered for more than 70 years. I’m pediatrics ... Views: 18
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 8
"I'm so hurried at this time of the year, I don't have time to breathe,"my Caffeinated Corner buddy spouted on and on. What's a Caffeinated Corner? Oh, that's the group I see nearly every morning at the local Starbucks where we sit and over coffee and a muffin solve the problems of the world. ... Views: 17
A client recently bought an expensive new car. He hasn't been the same since. He's been ranting about how expensive it is, how he shouldn't have spent so much, and on and on. I asked him about what type of options he put into it and he angrily spewed, "A - - - king navi system."
A navigation ... Views: 29
Humans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.)
Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" of ... Views: 15
In .28 seconds I found 18,900,000 results on Bing, and 61,500,000 results in 0.46 seconds—honestly—on Google on how to “survive the holidays.” MILLIONS of tips on how to “survive” the holidays! What in the world has happened to us? Have we gone mad? C’mon now. We need more than these many ... Views: 34
Who hasn’t heard the phrase, “You’re comparing apples and oranges?” What exactly does that mean? Essentially, it means that comparing those two fruits is useless because they are so different. Yes, apples and oranges are both fruits, but that’s where the similarity ends. They look and taste very ... Views: 30
Experts extol various different benefits of meditation - not only is meditation an end in itself, it is thought to help improve concentration, lower stress, help a person achieve goals and even help a body heal itself they say. Is meditation really that powerful? While the spiritual and mental ... Views: 28
[Note: This is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 23
“Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must,” counseled Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. But what’s with the “must”, JW? When “must” we “endure”?
By the time you finish this column, you’ll realize you don’t need to ever endure life, but rather you can find enjoyment in every moment of it—even ... Views: 95
They’re here again! The wonderful days to gather with our friends and loved ones. The days of sharing stories over a cacophony of food items and exchanging gifts that somehow represent a physical manifestation of our love and adoration for others. While there are many reasons to feel uplifted ... Views: 43
In 1988 when I wrote “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: PS It’s All Small Stuff,” little did I know that a number of years later my book would go into three printings, have an audio version, be celebrated and awarded wonderful titles like “Good Morning America’s” "Hot Pick" and “Publishers Weekly ... Views: 55
“Why can’t things ever go right, just once in my life?” “I’m such a ________.” “I’ll never be as good as ___________.” “Why do things never go my way?” “Why can’t I ever succeed, just once?”
Sound familiar? Perhaps you’ve tried behavior and habit change methods to help you overcome these ... Views: 69
Stalled, stuck, and procrastinating? Take heart, there is always a new day. There is always a new door to try. We, humans, want to be our better selves, we really do, but sometimes we get in our own way. Or we are just too comfy to let go of the old patterns. Or, like shiny things, everything ... Views: 42
Suicide is a global epidemic. We are all connected. What can we do to make a difference?
Here are 10 ways to tip the scales in a more favorable direction. Our every action, intention, and belief counts.
1. Be neighborly and reach out to decrease loneliness and isolation.
2. Become ... Views: 54
Are you too tired… too stressed …too everything?
Are you filipendulous (hanging by a thread)?
Do you frequently want to curl into a fetal position from overwhelm?
Welcome to 2015, where the pace will be quicker. Y-e-s, quicker, so, hold on, lovies. Here are a few tips to help you ... Views: 35
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ... Views: 34
Five Realizations of Good Relationships
“Life is not happening to you. It is responding to you.” ~Author Unknown.
In order to create good relationships, correct bad ones or continue good ones, there are a five things, that when realized, can help set up more ... Views: 81
Some esoteric questions can set us on a journey of discovery in the direction of ‘Know thyself’. One of them is related to this matter of freeing ourselves from the impact of society that corrupts our awareness. Can we fulfill our worldly responsibilities and yet not get threaded ... Views: 69
Don’t tell me you actually believe that Pilgrims, dressed in black, sat down with Indians, wearing feathers and colorful beads, for a big meal of turkey, cornbread, cranberries and pumpkin pie and created what we know as Thanksgiving?
If you do, we need to talk. Fast. It’s almost ... Views: 88
[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture - a book written for mothers - focusing on typical situations that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers during the years before their children enter grade school. These are most commonly the years when mothers (biological and adoptive) ... Views: 43
How many times have you heard someone say something truly judgmental, obnoxious, hurtful, sarcastic or otherwise inappropriate only to be followed by a “Oh, I was only kidding.” There may also be a, “C’mon can’t you take a joke?” “I didn’t mean it.”
Here’s a simple fact: They weren’t ... Views: 119
Vote after informal vote, I was in the top five. But when the official decision of who was going to move ahead from the Master’s degree program to the doctoral program, I was reminded of my mother’s words, “Michael, when one door closes another opens.”
I wasn’t among the five who were ... Views: 124
Most Supervisors tend to subscribe to one of two thoughts on employee motivation. Intuitive Supervisors can "Prime" their employees for success by simply setting positive expectations. Supervisors that are short-fused can and often do, set negative expectations that become self-fulfilling ... Views: 70
Ready to say goodnight to Daylight Savings Time and good morning to Standard Time? We’ve enjoyed Standard Time in different time zones in the United States of America and Canada since November, 1883 when the railroads adopted the practice of standardized times in established time zones. It ... Views: 89
While it’s all been said many times in a thousand different ways, letting go of something can be very challenging, particularly when it comes to someone you love, whether it be a child, a lover or a friend. I personally had a very difficult “letting go” episode a number of years ago that ... Views: 74
My family owned shoe stores in Newark, N.J., when I was growing up. I worked in their stores from the time I was seven years old. One day, my grandfather brought me outside to teach me an important lesson.
He pointed out the competitor down the street and told me to observe what he was ... Views: 70
Last night, stressing about undone tasks, I glanced in a mirror and saw my t-shirt, with its picture of a galaxy and a little sign sticking up out of its outer swirls, saying "you are here." A joke gift from my wife, I've worn this shirt many times - yet for once it stopped me in my tracks. In ... Views: 46
I've just returned from Florida where I attended an a-maz-ing Mindset Retreat. I met so many people who are on the path of self-discovery to create a shift in themselves and allow their best selves to come forward.
For me this journey of greater self-discovery has come with resistance ... Views: 54
We all want more. More for ourselves. More for our families. More for our lives. We want the ability to have more, be more, discover more, and do more. We want this life to be as full and enriching as we can possibly imagine it to be. Greater than that even.
We know intuitively that ... Views: 61
So often the things you say you want for yourself are not the things that you believe are possible for yourself. There is a disconnect. Somewhere on your journey you learned that you aren't good enough or smart enough or worthy enough of certain things. So you began to delegate those things ... Views: 75
Many times in life you can get stuck in a way of thinking that is no longer serving your purpose or your goals. You no longer receive any positive benefits from your efforts, yet you continue to utilize these same tired methods to achieve your goals and create the kind of life you seek. ... Views: 68
Have you ever noticed that when some people find a penny on the ground they evaluate it to see if it came in the "appropriate" form for which they will allow themselves to receive the gift of abundance. Was it facing heads up or heads down? Because one must certainly be bad luck, right? ... Views: 70
This week I wanted to post about fear and how it can greatly limit our potential but when used correctly can also be a very powerful motivator. Here’s to a week of channeling your fears!
Feeling afraid, there’s no feeling like it. It is real and powerful. It creates intense physical ... Views: 91
I was coaching a little boy today … he is 47 years old.
‘Peter’ is a brilliant man having achieved a very senior level in his organization and pretty much destined for the very top job. So why did I refer to him as a ‘little boy’?
While Peter has an IQ score which is off the charts, ... Views: 66
It's kind of amazing: right now, what you think and feel, enjoy and suffer, is changing your brain. The brain is the organ that learns, designed by evolution to be changed by our experiences: what scientists call experience-dependent neuroplasticity.
Neurons that fire together, wire together. ... Views: 44
When it comes to living really well, many confuse doing so with looking good, feeling good, or having the goods. This leads people to chase after such goods as fake tans, plastic surgery, feel good drugs, virtual friendships, the mansion on the hill—preferably overlooking the water, making and ... Views: 77
When it comes to living really well, many confuse doing so with looking good, feeling good, or having the goods. This leads people to chase after such goods as fake tans, plastic surgery, feel good drugs, virtual friendships, the mansion on the hill—preferably overlooking the water, making and ... Views: 64
Life, to many, seems like it is a series of popularity contests. The only people who don’t like popularity contests are those that either believe they will lose them, or worse, do lose them. They hold their breath each time they walk into a room, get up to speak, raise their hand in class or go ... Views: 119
I usually describe a practice as something to do: get on your own side, see the being behind the eyes, take in the good, etc. This practice is different: it's something to recognize. From this recognition, appropriate action will follow. Let me explain.
Some years ago I was invited to give a ... Views: 45
The average college student leads a very busy life. There are deadlines, homework assignments, and during finals week, a lot of flash cards and study notes to memorize. What if there was a healthy way for college students to unwind and let go of some of the stress that comes along with post high ... Views: 60
We all have issues - including demands upon us, stresses, illnesses, losses, vulnerabilities, and pain. (As Alan Watts put it: "Life is wiggly.") Of course, many of our issues - in the broad sense I'm using the word here - are related to important sources of fulfillment, such as starting a ... Views: 63
Positivity is a universal trait and a common factor to enhance our well being over all over the world. Every day we learn about positivity and try to adopt it as much as possible in our day to day life. We love to be called as positive parents, couples, children and positive members of our ... Views: 111
When I look back on mistakes I've made - like dumping my anger on someone, making assumptions in haste, partying too much, losing my nerve, being afraid to speak from my heart - in all cases a part of me had taken over. You know what I mean. The parts of us that have a partial view, are driven ... Views: 48
In my early 20's, I went through Rolfing, a form of deep-tissue bodywork, and I nervously anticipated the 5th session, the one that goes deep into the belly. But instead of gobs of repressed emotional pain, what poured out was love - waves and waves of love that I'd pushed down due to ... Views: 57
Most people spend most minutes of most days doing one thing after another. I sure do. Typing these words is a kind of doing, as is driving to work, making dinner, brushing one's teeth, or putting the kids to bed. For all the "labor-saving" devices of the past 50 years - dishwashers, phone ... Views: 58
Questions and Intent
“What in the world are you talking about?!” “Why did you do that?” “How can you act like this?!” These are questions that I have at times asked in frustration, sometimes in my mind, other times vocally. But when I ask these questions, what is my purpose? Most of the ... Views: 83
Thoughts, Words, and FEELINGS
Emotions for me are a necessary evil. I absolutely hate the way emotions can completely blind a mind from logic. This is one of the main reasons that it takes me a long, long time to become emotionally attached to anybody. It seems that whenever I become ... Views: 98
While speaking my thoughts can be a very powerful tool in developing meaningful relationships with those around me, it could also prove to be very detrimental, based on what my thoughts revolve around. With that reasoning, I feel comfortable making the assertion that before I ... Views: 108
How does gratitude work? What's the point of it? Will this new craze of daily gratitude be something that changes my life? If it did, what would it change, how would I be different? Isn't gratitude some kind of religious thing?
Like meditation, gratitude has been sidelined with religious ... Views: 203