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Most people spend most minutes of most days doing one thing after another. I sure do. Typing these words is a kind of doing, as is driving to work, making dinner, brushing one's teeth, or putting the kids to bed. For all the "labor-saving" devices of the past 50 years - dishwashers, phone ... Views: 6
Questions and Intent
“What in the world are you talking about?!” “Why did you do that?” “How can you act like this?!” These are questions that I have at times asked in frustration, sometimes in my mind, other times vocally. But when I ask these questions, what is my purpose? Most of the ... Views: 14
Thoughts, Words, and FEELINGS
Emotions for me are a necessary evil. I absolutely hate the way emotions can completely blind a mind from logic. This is one of the main reasons that it takes me a long, long time to become emotionally attached to anybody. It seems that whenever I become ... Views: 14
While speaking my thoughts can be a very powerful tool in developing meaningful relationships with those around me, it could also prove to be very detrimental, based on what my thoughts revolve around. With that reasoning, I feel comfortable making the assertion that before I ... Views: 15
How does gratitude work? What's the point of it? Will this new craze of daily gratitude be something that changes my life? If it did, what would it change, how would I be different? Isn't gratitude some kind of religious thing?
Like meditation, gratitude has been sidelined with religious ... Views: 42
We all know this fear. You're walking down a street, someone you don't know comes toward you, and there's a second or more of wariness, scanning, apprehension, and tension or bracing in the body: a barely conscious assessment of possible threat. Or you step into a meeting with people you know ... Views: 12
I recently trotted my two granddaughters off to the discount theater to see How to Train Your Dragon 2. It was a hot, Saturday afternoon and the place was packed. In order to sit together we were forced to take a front row seat. One thing about this vantage point is you feel like you’re rubbing ... Views: 28
Do you know that that the single most important block to one's success is emotionally based? Do you know that emotional impediment manifests itself as low self confidence, feelings of inadequacy, a lack of belief in one's self or one's abilities, feelings of weakness and so on? Finally, do you ... Views: 29
Do you feel stuck, unmotivated, fearful, blocked, despairing, hopeless, inadequate, lacking self confidence, deficient, flawed, like there is something wrong with you and so on?
Does all of this keep you paralyzed and trapped in an unfulfilling life experience that leads you to start ... Views: 48
Many people consider the mind to be part of the brain, but as Rene Descartes – the father of modern philosophy said, “there is a vast difference between the mind and the body, in that the body...is always divisible, while the mind is completely indivisible” .
Our thoughts, our ideas, our ... Views: 25
It is now a proven fact: What you think about has a direct impact on every aspect of your life, including your physical well being.
Recent studies show that the expression of gratitude, for example, can have profound and positive effects on our health, our moods and even the survival of our ... Views: 39
Whether you are aware of it or not, the power of your mind is ALWAYS at work … but not always in your awareness.
The subconscious mind is an entirely different "creature" from the conscious mind. This is often a difficult idea to truly grasp, and yet it is precisely the reason that people ... Views: 55
Many years ago, I was in a significant relationship in which the other person started doing things that surprised and hurt me. I'll preserve the privacy here so I won't be concrete, but it was pretty intense. After going through the first wave of reactions - What?! How could you? Are you kidding ... Views: 19
I'M ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN.
WHO WE ARE ON THE INSIDE, GOVERNS WHO WE ARE ON THE OUTSIDE.
Change is hard—especially internal change. Here is some insight on how to grow spiritually.
Have you noticed that it’s just plain hard to make changes in your life? Losing ... Views: 71
Negative thinking takes a huge toll on our energy. It prevents us from enjoying every moment that life has to offer (good and bad) and from reaching our goals. We work a job that we really don’t care for instead of making our vocation a vacation (the act of enjoying what you do for a living). I ... Views: 29
My wife and kids tease me that the title of this practice is corny - and it is. Still, I like it. If you don't nourish the things that nourish you, they wither away like a plant in dry stony ground.
I'm writing this on New Year's Eve. Looking to the year ahead for you - a year that can begin ... Views: 21
FAILURES NOT AN OPTION:
NEVER GIVE UP!
So often we miss out on God’s best because we give up too soon.
As you all know, I'm going through a very difficult time in my life right now. Not a day goes by when I don't feel like throwing in the towel and just giving up. But when I sit still ... Views: 68
Attics and basements were a staple of most houses on the East Coast, where I was brought up. The attic was often stifling hot, cramped and suffocating. You would ascend a steep, narrow stairway, a storage box held precariously in hand, and deposit it in the nearest empty space, relieved to get ... Views: 51
We are all in a time of high stress, and
national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not
dealt with, they can lead to acting out behavior,
such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money
problems as a distraction. To avoid ... Views: 51
Do you got to?
Enjoy the freedom not to.
We're pulled and prodded by financial pressures, commuter traffic, corporate policies, technology, advertising, politics, and the people we work with and live with. As well, internal forces yank the proverbial chains, ... Views: 30
By "sobriety," I mean healthy self-control, a centered enjoyment of life, and an inner freedom from drivenness. We typically apply this sense of balance and self-care to things like food, drugs and alcohol, sexuality, money, and risky behaviors. And if you like, you could bring sobriety to other ... Views: 29
Brain training can nurture the genius in all of us as the idea that our Intelligence Quotient (IQ) is an inherited trait is fixed for life is a common but mistaken one. Decades of research have now shown that intelligence levels are relatively malleable. More importantly, research carried out by ... Views: 33
Ely was excited about his new job. He’d spent a year looking, and found what he wanted – interesting work, good pay, friendly people. Perfect, right?
But Ely had also increased his responsibility, added a long commute, and decided that he wanted to make a fabulous first impression at work. He ... Views: 68
I have been a high end personal trainer for many years, the thing is though, some of my clients DON’T get the results they should.
I mean, they sign up with the intention of getting fit and losing some weight along the way, that is the most common reason for people beginning an exercise ... Views: 58
Gravity and entropy are powerful processes in the natural world. Gravity draws things together, toward a center, while entropy scatters them into disorder. In much the same way, in our own lives, some things bring us to center, while others disturb and disperse us.
In terms of centering, be ... Views: 35
Sometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ... Views: 42
Take a step back, get clear on what you desire, but don't forget to be grateful for the things we might think are obstacles...the delays. Oh yes, the waiting game that we can't stand playing! Grrrrrrr!
Those little 'boulders' on the path of life are just minor obstacles that cause us to slow ... Views: 75
Most people have heard the phrase "random acts of kindness", which refers to a selfless act of giving resulting in the happiness of another person. Terms like this are increasing in popularity around the world, as more people identify a deficiency in their lives that can only be fulfilled by ... Views: 66
We're all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations.
Take a moment to get a sense of your own load. It's very real, isn't it? Recognizing ... Views: 43
Living by Likes
It’s funny how sometimes life sneaks up on you and catches you by surprise. I had some occasion of inspiration recently to examine the way I have been thinking, the way I have been living and the general direction of my life. It was not something I planned on doing, it just ... Views: 80
Relieving yourself from stress at work (or any stress, for that matter) might be much more important than you think. We often tend to overlook this issue and accept it as an inevitable fact. Of course work is stressful, but does it really have to affect you that much? Is there an easy way to ... Views: 71
Lately I've been writing about the fifth of my personal Top 5 practices (all tied for first place): open out, by which I mean relaxing into a growing sense of connection, even oneness, with all things. (The other four are be mindful, love, take in the good, and go green.)
"Opening out" can ... Views: 49
Last week was amazing. I spent 4 mesmerizing days in Amsterdam. Yes, I am talking about the beauty of the city with its history and architecture, with timeless canals and cobbled ‘straats’, with wild trams that stop for no one and even wilder bikers who own the roads and the sidewalks.
But I ... Views: 59
I admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ... Views: 58
What do we need to do to see ourselves in an entirely new way?! How about deciding what we would like to accomplish; then, pursuing our goal until it is positively achieved. Truly these are appropriate steps in any successful goals process. Regardless if the goal includes issues related to ... Views: 215
Life has a way of wearing on you. Sometimes things go your way and sometimes they don’t. Regardless if life has knocked you down, or someone has, it is up to you to get back up! One million bad things could have happened to you, but it is up to you to stand back up. When you do get back ... Views: 109
As general categories that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 practices (all tied for first place) are:
* Be mindful
* Take in the good
* Go green
* Open out
So far, I've written about the first four of these, and you can click the links just above for some ... Views: 53
"Peace" can sound merely sentimental or clichéd ("visualize whirled peas"). But deep down, it's what most of us long for. Consider the proverb: The highest happiness is peace.
Not a peace inside that ignores pain in oneself or others, or is acquired by shutting down. This is a durable peace, ... Views: 69
When you work with and support others, do you experience: Feeling drained? Do you desire them to "get better"? Do you take on one more client because there is no one else? Are you attached to them making progress?
When I first heard the expression Divinely Selfish- I experienced a lot of ... Views: 128
It is good to explore the difference between exerting effort and applying oneself to something. The clarity that comes from that understanding can help us lead a peaceful life. One can then move on to sensing the deeper aspects of living on this planet.
We often feel elevated when we see a ... Views: 148
Perhaps you’ll agree that when something is bothering you, it prevents you from being at peace. In truth, the more we try to figure out “what-to-do” or “what-not-to-do” actually keeps the situation from changing. Take a moment and look at this consideration more carefully. Whatever we are ... Views: 90
The title of this practice is a little tongue-in-cheek. What I mean is, most of us - me included - spend time worrying about criticism: past, present, and even future. Yes, try hard, keep agreements, "don't be evil," etc. But sooner or later - usually sooner - someone is going to point out the ... Views: 70
Life can feel like a perpetual classroom. You’re constantly learning. Sometimes you make mistakes and other times you get a gold star for your achievements. Once in a while, a particular lesson alludes you, no matter how many times you experience it. When frustrations build, you might consider ... Views: 83
You may have seen the old Mickey Mouse movie in which he is working at a conveyor belt in a factory. More and more widgets come at him that he has to handle, and he gets increasingly frazzled as he struggles to keep up.
Do you ever feel the same way? Think about all the dishes, emails, ... Views: 70
The Power of Expectation
Did you know that your life and body as it is right now is a result of what you expected to come about in your life? Did you know that because of the Law of Perception, what you perceive as “good” or “bad” will, in fact, be drawn to you, whether you like it or ... Views: 102
[Note: This JOT is adapted from the first chapter of my book, Hardwiring Happiness.]
I've hiked a lot and have often had to depend on what was in my pack. Inner strengths are the supplies you've got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life. They include ... Views: 72
I can’t sleep,” Shelly said. “I mean, I don’t have much trouble falling asleep. But then I wake up at three in the morning and can’t get back to sleep.”
For Shelly, it started with a combination of a fast-paced job and the hormonal changes of pregnancy. While those things started her insomnia ... Views: 156
Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how ... Views: 153
By "war" I mean here a mindset, not combat between nations with tanks and bombs. The "war" I'm referring to is an attitude of conflict and animosity toward a person, object, or condition. Parents can feel at war with a misbehaving teenager, and certainly vice versa. Neighbors quarreling over a ... Views: 80
Negativism is always limiting
You put on side cover and limit your view.
It’s easy to fall into the negative mode when things don’t come out the way you planned or are threatened by changes, but there lies an opportunity!
Hindrances can be opportunities in disguise
We often set ... Views: 74