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Let's say you've had an interesting idea or moment of inspiration, or thought of a new project, or felt some enthusiasm bubbling up inside you. Your notions are not fully formed and you're not really committed to them yet, but they have promise and you like them and are trying them on for size. ... Views: 8
Problem vs. Stuff
What is the difference between a problem and stuff?
Do you remember when the bumper sticker “Shit Happens” was popular? Do you remember how you reacted to that statement? Or how do you suppose you might have reacted to that statement?
Would you be part of the majority ... Views: 33
On a previous blog at the Huffington Post, I used the example of Stephen Colbert's satirical "March to Keep Fear Alive" as a timely illustration of a larger point: humans evolved to be fearful - since that helped keep our ancestors alive - so we are very vulnerable to being frightened and even ... Views: 20
Have you heard this saying?
The most important thing is to remember the most important thing.
What are the most important things to you? In your life as a whole? During a particular interaction with someone? Right this minute?
The most important things often get pushed to the sidelines. ... Views: 28
First, it has two distinct meanings:
* To give up resentment or anger
* To pardon an offense; to stop seeking punishment or recompense
Here, I am going to focus on the first meaning, which is broad enough to include situations where you have not let someone off the hook morally or ... Views: 36
“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so. If you assume there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there’s a chance you may ... Views: 37
THE PROCRASTINATION TRAP: ENEMY OF PERSISTENCE, THIEF OF TIME
To many people, it's a mystery "why" they're stuck in the procrastination trap. They realize that it makes no sense to berate themselves endlessly for repeating the same tired, old avoidance behaviors, nor does it make sense to ... Views: 48
There is a hidden source of power or pain that often goes unaddressed by many individuals. Truth is expectations can have a far-reaching impact on how people live their lives and the goodies they reap along the way. Expectations are assumptions about the future – what will occur or what should ... Views: 63
The Thorny Maze of Expectations, Part II--Take Care When Deciding What Not to Expect of Yourself
There is a hidden source of power or pain that often goes unaddressed by many individuals. Truth is, Expectations can have a far-reaching impact on how people live their ... Views: 30
There is a hidden source of power or pain that often goes unaddressed by many individuals. Truth is, Expectations can have a far-reaching impact on how people live their lives and the goodies they reap along the way. Expectations are assumptions about the future – what will occur or what should ... Views: 29
Over the past 11 years, the field of psychology has been on a new mission, one of identifying, researching and teaching the skills that lead to well-being and resilience. Called "Positive Psychology," it's a rapidly growing branch of scientific psychology that studies the strengths and virtues ... Views: 56
We all know people who are, ah, . . . challenging. It could be a critical parent, a bossy supervisor, a relative who has you walking on eggshells, a nice but flaky friend, a co-worker who just doesn't like you, a partner who won't keep his or her agreements, or a politician you dislike. Right ... Views: 38
Sure, you may be thinking that word might be “hate,” “poverty,” “illness,” or “death.” No, these words are mild compared to the life-sucking, contentment-robbing, depression-boosting, anxiety-causing and anger-building word I’m thinking of.
That word is “should.” In the wonderful words of my ... Views: 80
Our mind is always processing information at some level within us. The mind gathers information, sorts and stores experiences. We use our library of experiences to filter information, structure how we will think about and approach future experiences, and make decisions. Our mind is fascinating ... Views: 80
When our kids were little, I'd come home from work wanting some peace after the daily roller-coaster and often walk into a living room full of stuff - toy trucks, tennis shoes, bags of chips, etc. Irritated, the first words out of my mouth to my wife would be: "How come there's all this mess?" ... Views: 39
Fighting a legal battle is challenging. Often, it can be very difficult to stay strong and positive both in and out of court. To arm yourself for the conflict, prepare mentally in advance to mount an effective defense for the best chance of success.
Organize the facts
Sometimes a criminal ... Views: 56
Friendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive.
Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, ... Views: 40
My dad grew up on a ranch in North Dakota. He has a saying from his childhood - you may have heard it elsewhere - that's: "You learn more by listening than by talking."
Sure, we often gain by thinking out loud, including discovering our truth by speaking it. But on the whole, listening brings ... Views: 53
You don't need to turn back the clock to be happy. These tips will help you navigate mid-life.
Every time I wish my 96-year-old Uncle to have a fabulous day, he answers enthusiastically with, "every day is a great day." Attitude is a major factor in one's outlook on life, but economic and ... Views: 89
The link between emotional and physical well being has been established for quite some time. However, many people believe that this correlation is merely spiritual or somehow not quantifiable. They might be surprised to learn that confidence affects one's health in several objective ... Views: 66
Learning how to not take things personally is something we can all benefit from. I mean, who doesn’t want to be more centered & resistant to all the meaningless criticism (constructive ones are good). Here we will look at the general attitude & behavior of your critics and ways to deal with ... Views: 103
Recently I went through a period of intense physical pain which lasted several weeks and caused some interesting effects. It reminded me of these words by the poet Emily Dickinson:
Pain has an Element of Blank –
It cannot recollect
When it begun – of if there was
A time when it was ... Views: 75
A client recently asked me what the difference was, between healing and loving yourself and being selfish. To that person, they appeared to be the same thing.
Learning to love ourselves is an important step on our journey to grow in our emotional intelligence. Yet, fear of being selfish is ... Views: 83
The past few weeks, we have been examining the benefits of decluttering and simple living. The studies make it clear that living a less cluttered life is beneficial not only for your mental health, but also for your family.
The problem is that so many of us have so much clutter. Where can ... Views: 75
There is healing power in the medicine of laughter and play. Living with stress, feeling uptight, being worried, not sleeping, and thinking limiting thoughts, kill the joy in your life—as well as your health and wellbeing.
One of the best anti-stress medicines we have is free, has no negative ... Views: 107
Everyone knows what it's like to care about someone. Remember being with a friend, a mate, a pet: you feel warmly connected, and want him or her not to suffer and to be happy.
On the other hand, you've probably had the sense, one time or another, of not being cared about. That you didn't ... Views: 45
Your health is one of the most important things that you truly need to maintain well into old age. When you are young, it seems difficult to imagine that you will not always retain optimal health. In fact, most young people imagine that they are virtually invincible. When your health starts to ... Views: 99
Imagine a world in which people interacted with each other like ants or fish. Imagine a day at work like this, or in your family, aware of the surface behavior of the people around you but oblivious to their inner life while they remain unmoved by your own.
That's a world without empathy. To ... Views: 49
23-year-old Poppy Smart of Worcester UK, grew so tired of being the recipient of wolf-whistling builders as she made her way to work each day that she saw no option but to report this to the police. Describing their behaviour as disrespectful and sexist she simply refused to tolerate it any ... Views: 60
It took quite awhile to earn that degree, to go on for graduate studies, to land that impressive job. And somehow, it’s still leaving you with thoughts of defeat, of fear and worry.
Or perhaps that degree and job hasn’t happened for you, it’s not where you put your skills to work. Perhaps ... Views: 118
The self-help blogs and media are filled with useful information about positive psychology, becoming your best self, leading the good life, and the value and benefits of being optimistic, positive and hopeful. It’s next to impossible--from more than 3000 years of Judaism’s wisdom on happiness to ... Views: 190
Compassion is essentially the wish that beings not suffer - from subtle physical and emotional discomfort to agony and anguish - combined with feelings of sympathetic concern.
You could have compassion for an individual (a friend in the hospital, a co-worker passed over for a promotion), ... Views: 67
Awhile back when I was doing an appreciation list, I realized that, although thoughts and feelings are of utmost importance (which the appreciation list comprises), we are physical beings living in a physical world and our activities cannot be dismissed. So, along with appreciating, I have ... Views: 127
“Mrs. Mantell, your son Michael is not college material. He should definitely consider a vocational high school path.” That’s what Mrs. McCaffery, my 8th grade teacher at Chancellor Ave. Elementary School in Newark, N.J., told my mother with me sitting there…trembling,
My mother, then ... Views: 211
We're usually aware of our own suffering, which - broadly defined - includes the whole range of physical and mental discomfort, from mild headache or anxiety to the agony of bone cancer or the anguish of losing a child. (Certainly, there is more to life than suffering, including great joy and ... Views: 73
Did you know that most of the people you know, including yourself very likely, find it easier to work than to enjoy free time? Becoming successful, it seems, trumps developing happiness. This is what Shawn Achor relies on when he writes about the “Happiness Myth,” namely the myth that hard work ... Views: 156
In order to experience true happiness, you must develop a positive outlook on life. Although everyone will have an occasional bad day, it is important to maintain a strong sense of hope. Here are six tips to help stay optimistic.
Avoid associating with negative people
Negativity tends to ... Views: 77
A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about my WAM program for personal success, what about me? I wrote about three steps to “me,” self-compassion, including 1) welcoming yourself as a friend,
2) Acknowledging your strengths and successes, and recognizing that, 3) Mindfulness promotes it all.
... Views: 121
This blog is part 2 of "The Mother Connection" blogpiece, and is a part of Susanna’s book.
It’s impossible today for any of us to not be triggered around our own “enough-ness,” given how much our culture uses this very concept to demonstrate and than sell to us what we need to feel ... Views: 203
How can a group of 80 million young Americans suffering from mind-bogglingly high unemployment rates still be positive, buoyant and survive? Leave it to Millennials to do exactly that.
With $200 billion in buying power, they are optimistic, confident, self-expressive, liberal, upbeat and ... Views: 108
“What the mind can conceive and believe, and the heart desire, you can achieve.” - Norman Vincent Peale
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it,” remarked the Greek philosopher Aristotle.
If you were to read no further than that line, ... Views: 167
STRESS – PUBLIC HEALTH ENEMY #1 OR IS IT?
March 12, 2015 • 0 Responses • Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 41 seconds
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Stress!! Such a killer. Stress has been deemed a ... Views: 148
There is no such thing as a vacuum in nature and the same is true of most peoples’ minds. They are full of beliefs, opinions and knowledge that they depend on to give them some identity and meaning. However, the more you fill your mind with beliefs and knowledge the more closed and fixed you ... Views: 207
Elizabeth knew that something was wrong at work.
She was being interrupted during discussions, ignored in conversations, and excluded from meetings. She didn’t have a clue what it was about, but the stress of not knowing was undermining her confidence.
Elizabeth felt confused, ... Views: 181
As an adult, you are probably leading a very busy lifestyle. You have kids to take care of, you have a research paper that needs to be finished, or you have a quota at work that you need to accomplish. And because you are so pre-occupied with a lot of things, you may not have enough time for ... Views: 114
As you learn NOT to take anything personally, you will bring harmony into your relationships. For example, someone may say or do something that feels like an attack on your self-worth, wellbeing or your beliefs. If you retaliate by defending or protecting yourself, you disrupt the connection ... Views: 187
Here are two universal truths about self-esteem:
Building your self-esteem is essential for confidence and success, and it all begins with you.
People with a healthy self-esteem are able to define their worth, value and achievements.
Many people suffer from low self-esteem. This is ... Views: 150