In my own practice, the foundation of what I do at the beginning of every coaching partnership is supporting each client to get clear about what it is that they truly want. From that point, possibilities open up to be explored and acted upon and lives start to shift in magical ways.
My belief is that the distinction between setting an intention versus setting a goal is that goals can sometimes be in the land of “should” or come from a place of need. Intentions are all about identifying what is our heart’s path. For example, a goal might be framed by such language as: “I should lose weight. Eat healthfully. Exercise regularly. Change my career. Take care of myself. And then I’ll feel okay about myself.”
An intention begins with: “I really want to make myself a priority this year. Make a difference in the world in a way that feels very important to me. Achieve a new sense of freedom and wholeness. Take care of and embrace my body. Express myself fully in my career. I am worthy of this.” Notice the impact on your body when you say “I want” versus when you say “I should.”
Intentions are accompanied by exuberance…by a deep knowing…by a spark at the soul level. We feel hopeful and optimistic when setting intentions. We can see ourselves reaching where we want to go and feel fully alive just visualizing that. It’s the answer to the question: What is it that I truly want deep inside of me for me?
Deep exploration and reflection leading to self-awareness takes time and attention. It is best when doing so becomes a day-to-day process: what is it that I really want today? A helpful tool to clarifying a significant, broader intention for your life might be completing the sentence: “If only I had that perfect career or perfect mate or perfect body (or whatever you feel that you really want), I would feel ________.” Knowing your life purpose, your values and the essential theme of your life’s learning will also support you in identifying a clear and powerful intention.
Through the years, I have learned firsthand the power of setting intentions. Here is an example of one so that you can better understand what I’ve been describing. My history is that I moved often during my single years and, within my marriage, renovated an old home, worked hard to build a new home and then left it all behind me through divorce to stay with a friend and her husband in their home.
After two years of clearing the way, I was ready for my own place. Consequently, a life theme has been ‘coming home to myself,’ which at this time of my life meant a home in physical form - a simple one surrounded by nature. I yearned for this. After some disappointments, I found the perfect house that seemed to appear on the Internet by chance. Circumstances fell into place in such a way that, despite all odds, I was able to make this home my own – a home that I knew I wanted the first moment I walked through the front door.
Jumping ahead to the present, my home has become a safe and nurturing place for myself as well as numerous coaching circles, one-on-one coaching sessions, my meditation group and too many to count gatherings with friends and family. Its convenient location enables people to travel from all over Southern Ontario, at least for their initial coaching session.
I couldn’t have dreamed of a better place for me. Universe co-created with me to find just the right home for me to nurture myself and others and to do my work in the world. That’s the power of intention.
Especially at this time of the year, take the time to ask yourself: what is it that my heart yearns for – that’s very important to me? Give yourself permission to dream, explore and reflect. Set your intention. Yes, take action. I certainly did what I needed to do to search for just the right house, to be able to afford it, and to spread the word out about my work so that clients would arrive.
The key is - after setting your intention and doing your part, let go. Trust that all will unfold as it is meant to unfold. Accept the ‘setbacks’ which in hindsight often work out for the best. In my search to find my home, much happened that was just perfect that I really had no awareness of until it was all in place. You might just get more than you ever thought possible, too.
Dr. Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D., CPCC , is a Certified Coach, author, blogger, and champion of true inner confidence. A firm believer that spirit, spunk, and rock-steady certainty pave the way to freedom. Jeannie's been featured on national magazines like Homemaker's, Esteem Magazine, and as a contributing author of "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life" along with such luminaries as Byron Katie, Mark Victor Hansen, and Ken Blanchard. With her Women's Wisdom Circles, programs, and one-on-one coaching, Jeannie helps women & men across the globe build confidence, conquer doubt, and create an authentic life they love. Want to know more? Step on over to www.innerconfidencecoaching.com to check out Jeannie's blog, and get the information about Jeannie's methods, offerings!