If you are feeling stressed by a life event, stuck on your way to achieving a goal, or in conflict with yourself or another, it may be time to examine your thinking. Your negative beliefs, attitudes and assumptions may be hijacking your emotions, sabotaging your success and ruining your relationships. Once you recognize a distorted message or non-truth for what it is, you have the power to change this negative mindset.
Your mindsets influence what you see, motivate your actions, and affect your emotional and physical health. When core beliefs become habitual and rigid, they determine the experience you have of yourself (your identity), others and life. Before you know it, your mind is filled with outdated opinions and untrue assumptions that dictate your self-worth and quality of life.
Below is a five step process to turn a negative mindset into a positive one:
1. Identify the negative mindset (critical self-talk; self-doubt; negative stories or beliefs about self, others, and life; shoulds, etc.). I can’t get my needs met in this relationship.
2. Catch yourself when you are in the “story.” When Jack cancels our plans, I tell myself he does not care about me and what I want.
3. Identify the cost to you. (Is this a useful mindset to get what you want or keep your creative energy high?) When I tell myself that my needs don’t matter to Jack, I get stuck in anger and miss the opportunity to discuss how we can both get our needs met.
4. Choose a new mindset: What do you want the positive thinking to be? When I speak with clarity and authenticity, I become a great negotiator.
5. Take actions that support the new mindset. For example, act as if until it becomes your new reality; write down the new mindset; say an affirmation or mantra; snap an elastic band on your wrist or touch a stone; say stop to a negative thought, etc. I told Jack I felt annoyed the last time he cancelled the last minute and asked whether he could let me know sooner so I can make other plans. He agreed.
When using affirmations, progressive affirmations can help you move into the power and fullness of a new belief. Begin with the "I am willing" statement and work your way to the "I am" statement:
1. I am willing to believe --(I have the power to negotiate)
2. I believe ------------------
3. I trust ------------------
4. I have faith ---------------
5. I am --(the power to negotiate)
Your mindsets have the ability to diminish your personal power or enhance it. Becoming a positive thinker with an optimistic viewpoint does not just happen. It takes commitment and effort, and the payoffs are worth the work. The first step is to become aware of when a negative mindset is limiting you, and then put a process in place to change it. The impact on your life will amaze you!
Sandra Miniere, M.Ed., is a life and wellness coach, certified Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioner, Amazon best-selling author and speaker. She is a former holistic mental health counselor and has been helping people transform themselves and their lives for over 30 years. Her website is www.IntegrativeWellnessExpert.com