How often have we found that life hasn't been fair to us? We find it extremely stressful interacting and transacting with people around us. The situations and circumstances that we are left to deal with are the most difficult ones. We feel trapped in this never ending cycle of agony, and don't see a way out of this misery! With each and every new challenge that we face, we start to despise ourselves. At the same time, we try finding fault with people around us - someone on this earth is responsible for each and every issue in our life!
Our mind has been conditioned to work based on our past experiences. It is always backward/past focused, and is seldom optimistic and future friendly. It takes into account all our social and cultural upbringing factors, the situations we have had in the past - especially the negative ones. It then massages all these experiences along with our emotions and fears, to project the future - a future that rarely becomes a reality. There is a constant chatter in our head - we feel a false sense of satisfaction at simulated situations, we prepare ourselves for verbal attacks at the people who we think manipulates us. Finally, we feel frustrated that all our mental preparations were in vain, as the anticipated situation itself didn't materialize! At the end, we are totally drained out of energy, and all what we need is some rest. Instead of letting our mind wander on its own, we need to start taking back the control. It is indeed our birth-right!
Be aware of our thoughts, or in other words, Be Mindful. Whenever you catch yourself going through a never ending loop of if’s and but’s, put an immediate stop to it. If this is a reaction to an act or a word from anyone you know, just ask yourself – “So, What? Why should I get affected? I will decide my state of happiness. I will not allow anyone else to decide how I should feel”. If you are worrying about a possible negative situation about to arise in your life, take a deep breath, relax completely while you breathe out and tell yourself – “I am confident that only positive things will happen in my life. I will be able to take the best decision when the need arises. I will not worry about it now, when I don’t even know if that situation will arise”.
If we are in a situation where we feel stuck, take a deep breath and relax. Allow the supreme power to take the best possible course of action and get you the most perfect solution. Challenges in life are always learning opportunities, which help us to grow. They help us to discover our inner power, which we were never aware of till now. Few years from now, we will reflect back on this situation and appreciate how it helped us to become a stronger person. Never quit, just understand that we are facing this challenge because we have the strength and capability to overcome it. This situation will definitely pass soon.
Whenever we feel bad about ourselves, or start worrying in self-pity, just remember - "I am a perfect creation of God" - yes, even with all the imperfections that we may be aware of. And no one can look down upon us. Identify a daily routine, preferably during the start of your day, when you can get into a relaxed state of connecting with your soul / higher consciousness, and repeat the magical words – “I am Perfect”. Grab your perfect moments – as many as possible during the day. This can be part of something you do every day, so that you don’t miss it even a single day. The perfect moment for me comes when I take the sip from the glass of warm milk/coffee I drink every morning. What is yours?
Just like the physical body needing food to remain healthy, the mind also needs healthy food, in the form of positive thoughts. There are numerous Inspirational and Motivational books out there, available either online, or in the local stores. Make it a habit to have such a book with you always, as a constant companion in your daily life. Reading such books during your free time keeps the mind occupied. Books are the best way to steer your life in a particular direction.
When we use the word "I", we usually refer to our mind or our body. Do we realize that ‘I’ is not our mind? It is not even our body that we see in the mirror. ‘I’, in fact, is the Soul, which is residing in our body, and is the master of both our mind and our body. Our existence on this earth is purely for the evolution of the Soul. Let us consciously put an end to the path of sufferings, and get busy in the experiences we can gain out of life. Let us not blame ‘fate’ for every issue in our life – let us exercise our Choice!
The author has been playing the role of a Samaritans Counsellor along with the day job of a Senior Manager with a multinational IT Services company