We, as humans, have become experts at constructing beliefs in our minds and do not like other people telling us that we are wrong or that our beliefs might be harming us. We are also prone to making outrageous statements full of drama and excitement that we genuinely believe to be true in our view of the world.
Let’s imagine a typical conversation between a couple when they both return from work:
” All hell broke loose at work today. John and Simon where at each others throats all day and the boss is going crazy.”
“Well you wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. I swear everyone is out to get me. Bad luck just seems to follow me around at the moment.”
The facts would be much less dramatic in real life as John and Simon had a minor falling out over the details of a project and the boss told them to fix the problem and the wife’s run in with a parking attendant hardly accounts for everyone out to get her. The bad luck was simply dropping a carton of milk in the store.
The trouble is, when we start to construct our thoughts in this way, we are making connections in our brains that will lead to habitual patterns of behavior forming. This begins to shape our reality and the reality of those around us.
We cause ourselves all sorts of problems but we are unaware of how we do it. This is because we are not aware of our natural patterns of thinking and acting. We unconsciously engage in behaviors and thoughts that lead us straight into negative states and manifest problems.
The key to breaking this cycle, is to begin to identify how we engage in these thoughts and behaviors This way we can gain the ability to change them. It’s crucial to develop new unconscious habits.
One way we can achieve this is to become aware of how we do things and then engage in disciplines that make sure we do things differently in the future.
I learned a very useful exercise for stopping the ‘Mind Chatter’ we all experience and that can be the root of many negative states that we find ourselves in on a daily basis.
When your mind is driving you crazy, simply say in a loud voice inside your head:
SHUT THE HELL UP!!
(That’s the clean version by the way. Feel free to embellish this any way you see fit.)
Just keep repeating this until your mind shuts the hell up. It works a treat.
Jules Gregory is a Certified NLP Practitioner, personal development writer and brainwave entrainment audio engineer with over 3 years experience helping people to overcome obstacles to change and motivation.