10 Ways to Build a Great Relationship with Your Child

A Deeper Look at How Parents Show Encouragement.

Image by Ed Yourdon

The following statements are brief. But, they’re huge in meaning. If you’ll read them slowly as you study your child and yourself, if you’ll think about and digest them even more slowly, you’ll achieve a deeper and closer relationship with her. I hope you’ll try it.

You With Your Child.

1. When your child speaks to you, listen for feelings, not just facts. Listen for the meaning of what she's saying to you. Then, let her know you hear it.
2. Allow your child to own her problems; don't make them yours.
3. Support your child in finding her own answers. She must practice solving problems and making decisions to gain those skills and raise her confidence.
4. Trust your child to learn and grow and change herself. Don't assume it's your responsibility to force change.

You With You.

5. Be a person, as well as a parent. Don't ignore your own needs.
6. Build your own life apart from your children. Live it.
7. Let your child know your feelings. But, tell your feelings to enhance your relationship, not to control or "guilt" your child.
8. Admit your own mistakes to your child.
9. Have the courage to change yourself.
10. Shed any guilt you have about past errors as a parent. Guilt won't help your relationship in the future.

Warmest regards until
next time,

Joan

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