Life flows in a cyclical motion, making you destined to repeat the good, the bad and the ugly – unless you deliberately interrupt the flow when undesirable incidents and events re-occur.
Robert E. Quinn, University of Michigan professor of business and management says, “You repeat the same things over and over again, causing everything to get worse. You get caught up in a vicious cycle.” He further states that if you change the emotion, you change the opportunity structure; then you do something new. You start to move into a virtuous cycle that picks you up and breaks out of the old cycles.
In the world of Feng Shui, life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest without repeating all of the negatives over and over again. When was the last time you took a bubble bath and lit a candle while listening to peaceful music, or you curled up with a great book and spent the entire day just reading? When was the last time you walked in the rain, stopped to look at a daisy or watched a butterfly float lazily through the sky on a sun-washed day? When was the last time you just sat on the beach and day dreamed while listening to the waves kiss the shore?
Self-empowering 101
To begin, mentally go back to the age of twelve. Think about who you were as a 12-year-old, how you looked, felt and dressed. Now, step into your 12-year-old heart and mind. Think about how you thought about life, your hopes and your dreams. What did you want to be when you grew up? Were you looking forward to being 16, 21, getting married? Fast forward to age 16. What were your dreams, hopes and aspirations? How did they change? What experiences did you have in those 4 years between ages 12 and 16 that changed your vision of the future? Are you still filled with hopes and dreams?
Fast forward to age 21. This time instead of going inside yourself just watch what is happening to you and around you. Are you still hopeful and filled with dreams and aspirations like at age 12 or 16? Now go inside your 21- year-old self and reflect on what you were thinking and feeling. What has changed? Are you still dreaming, fantasizing, and believing that the best part of life is yet to be? Are you doing what you wanted to do when you were 12?
Mentally, return to today. Are you still hopeful, excited, dreaming and anticipating that the best of life is yet to come or is it time to re-route your roadmap and ignite your future? “If not, it’s time to take time for yourself.”
Somehow society has diminished the importance of, “taking time for self”; to dream, to plan, to anticipate, to enjoy just being. You have been taught that taking care of yourself is selfish and the last thing you should do. This thought process leaves us void, without hope and needy; in a state of un-fulfillment and co-dependency. If you don’t take time to nurture your heart and feed your soul, how can you take care of others?
Three Re-routing Steps
Getting back in touch with your 12-year-old dreams can happen anywhere, anytime – and won’t cost you anything. Now, are you ready for some homework? Yes, homework!
Create a peaceful area, room or corner in your home. This area is to be just for you and no one else. Decorate it with a few favorite things. Perhaps even a picture of you about the age of 12. Let anyone that lives with you or is visiting know that when you are sitting in this space you are not to be disturbed. Then spend time there at least three times per week; to think, to write in a journal, to get in touch with your 12-year-old self. Use a yellow tablet to write down all of the dreams you had and see if any of them are still relevant. Hold onto those and eliminate the others. Then let go by shredding the page(s).
Become aware of your cyclical negative patterns. When in your quiet space, find the inner you – become absolutely still so you can listen to your inner voice. It will help you get off auto-pilot and realize there is more to life than what is on the surface. Do you let negative emotions grow and grow until they consume your life and you are unable to stay in-control? Release the negative thinking by using the yellow tablet again. This time write down all of the negative things and thoughts you continue to recycle, often over many years of your life. As you find your own peace you will share it – joy, peace, calm, happiness - with others and begin building a new roadmap one step at a time, one relationship at a time.
Stop complaining to others. By sharing your negative patterns, feelings and emotions with others you are attracting more of the same. Furthermore, instead of making matters better, you make them worse. Eliminate the negative to make room for the positive.
It’s not too late for you to begin? Connect with your inner emotions and feelings. You, too, can change your emotions and thinking to re-route your roadmap and ignite your future.
© Pat Heydlauff, all rights reserved 2012
Pat Heydlauff speaks from experience. She designs personal and office environments that promote work/life balance and increase prosperity. She is the author of Feng Shui, So Easy a Child Can Do It, and Selling Your Home with a Competitive Edge. She can be reached at 561-799-3443 or www.energy-by-design.com. Also visit her strictly business site www.engagetolead.com.