Meditation: Overcoming Impulses

Today, I want to help you become happier right now. It is our impulses and cravings that can really destroy a wonderful day. This is especially true if one of two things happen:

• If we don’t get to fulfill our desires, then we feel angry and frustrated – and this is upsetting.

• If we do get our way, if we do satisfy our cravings, then those same desires become stronger and more demanding – this, too, can be upsetting later.

So what should we do? We get mad if we do not respond to our impulses and yet if we do, life can become a bigger mess.

The great meditators solve this delicate dilemma saying,“No indulgence and no suppression is the best way to deal with our desires.”

Do not indulge. Do not suppress. How is that possible?The answer comes from a very simple understanding of the relationship between you and your mind. The mind is there to serve you. It is your inner instrument to be used to make life easy and pleasant. Without training, the mindis a tyrant and a bully – full of demands and has almost no regard for you. Training your mind to respond to you is the only solution.

Some desires that flow from the mind are so powerful thatthey seem unstoppable. Like in a torrent of floodwaters, we lose all control and get swept away.

Some desires we can easily ignore. We did not suppressthem, we just ignore them. Like someone knocking on your door at midnight, if you ignore them, then eventually they will go away.

The other factor to keep in mind is the time factor. Time is a great filter that can purify and wear down even the most powerful urges. Since happiness is in your destiny, you do not have to be in a hurry.

Let the time principle help you … be patient.

I think this little story will make it easy for you …

Once upon a time, a student came to his meditation teacher. He could not overcome his desire to overeat and his health was taking a heavy toll. Somewhat embarrassed he addressed his teacher, “Sir, when I watch television at night, a bizarre thing happens. One moment I am sitting on the couch watching a show and the next moment I discover myself in the kitchen halfway through a carton of ice cream. Please help me with this.”

“This is simple to solve.” His re-assuring tone further put the student at ease. The teacher continued, “First learn to sit still with your head, neck and trunk in straight alignment. Sitting still is the cure. Go practice this for 15 minutes every day and then come back in two weeks time.”

The student was puzzled. “Sir, how does sitting still help me overcome my eating problems?”

“Your drive to eat is very powerful. The source of all your impulses comes from the unconscious mind. Before trying to defeat such a powerful foe, it is better to gain control over smaller impulses.”

“When you try to sit still, you will notice the body’s restlessness and subtle urges. To gain mastery over the urge to scratch or swallow or blink is essential. For these are much less powerful desires than your urge to overeat. Conquering the smaller impulses of the mind will in time give you the capacity to manage the more powerful desires of the mind.”

Convinced of the wisdom of this new approach, the student returned home to practice stillness. Every day he would attempt to sit still. Sometimes the phone would ring the moment he sat down. Sometimes he just had to answer the phone, and other times he would let it ring.

The telephone and a host of other distractions became his teacher. During those 15 minutes of trying to be perfectly still, he became aware of how anxious and eager he was to respond to all of the distractions. This led him to ponder, “Why does my mind demand that I answer the phone? I have an answering machine and almost everything can wait at least 15 minutes.” As each distraction reared its head, the student became more skillful at remaining still and unperturbed.

During the first few days, attempting to be still was much more difficult than trying to sit straight and tall. Itching, twisting, blinking and swallowing would interrupt his attempts to be still. Finally on the eleventh day, he experienced a breakthrough.

When he sat, his posture was stable and comfortable. The tiny itchy sensations that would appear on his nose or cheeks finally stopped. His breathing seemed to help him settle down. And yet, the nighttime food cravings were unchanged.

It seemed to be a long two weeks. Finally, he was back again with his teacher. After demonstrating his posture and stillness, the next set of instructions was given, “Continue to sit every day with your head, neck and trunk in straight alignment. Using your breath to calm your body and mind is very effective. Breathe in a smooth and continuous manner through your nose. And most important of all, never argue with your mind.”

Charged with these instructions, the student returned home to practice for a full month.

He settled into a routine. Each morning he would get up, bathe, stretch and sit for his morning meditation. His breath could now soothe his restless body in a matter of minutes. For the first week it seemed he was entering a blissful state of calm. However, it was soon to come to an abrupt end.

Early in the second week while sitting so perfectly, he heard a loud and demanding voice for the very first time. It startled him as it screamed, “Ice cream, I want ice cream!!!” It actually shook him up. At little confusedand bewildered, he remembered his teacher’s last words, “Never argue with your mind.”

Each day the demand for ice cream became more noticeable. He would sit still and almost immediately his mind would demand ice cream. Four days passed with no change. On the fifth morning he went in search of his teacher.

Upon seeing his devoted student with an obvious increase in his girth, the teacher smiled and welcomed him.

So the teacher asked, “What has happened to you? How did you become so round?”

“It is your fault you know, it was you who said ‘never argue with your mind,” the student replied.

“Yes, but what was my first instruction?” the teacher inquired.

“To sit still with my head, neck and trunk in straight alignment,” the student said.

“Yes, then what was next?” asked the teacher.

“To breathe diaphragmatically in a smooth, quiet and continuous manner through my nose,” replied the student.

“Yes, and then?” asked the teacher.

“To never argue with my mind,” the student replied.

“So when your mind tells you to go do something that you should not do, tell the mind to go ahead, but do not move your body,” the teacher instructed. “Do not suppress the mind. Do not argue with the mind. But, also, do not obey your mind’s every wish and whim.”

“If you agree with your mind and tell it to go right ahead, then it will not try to disturb you. And most importantly, while you let the mind seemingly have its way, you must continue to sit perfectly still. If you do not move, then instantly you are free of these unhelpful impulses.”

“The mind is completely powerless unless you go along with its demands. If you are physically quiet and still, nothing will happen to you. In time, you will become the master of your mind, instead ofits victim.”

The student brightened. With this deeper understanding of his impulses, he wanted to test the theory immediately. In just a few moments, his mind (as always) once again presented a new demand, a new urge for something. He agreed with his mind and yet, he remained quiet and still. And it worked!

His mind did not try to beat him up because he never disagreed with it. He simply stayed put. And he was amazed at how quickly the impulse left, only to be replaced by another. Sometimes its replacement was a helpful, appropriate desire and other times it was just another test – a test of his ability to stay still while themind presented its urgent demands.

In time, his mind became his friend and servant. Life became an exciting adventure, full of challenges and changes.

The End

This little story is part of the timeless oral tradition of meditation. I adjusted the context of the story for modern times. It helps us learn to respect the power of the mind and the power of habit patterns. “No indulgence and no suppression is the best way to deal with your desires” say the great masters. Learning to sit still and to stay still can make this possible.

Everyday, practice, practice, practice. Train your body, breath and mind to be friendly to you. True stillness brings the highest joy and the greatest knowledge. Even the Bible says, “Be still and know…”

Stillness will help you develop patience and compassion. A true meditator knows how difficult the mind can be and therefore has great kindness for all beings and respects the mysterious forces of the mind that compel their behavior.

While practicing stillness, remember that some desires are sopowerful that they may seem unstoppable. These may be too powerful for us today, but in a few weeks or months, they will start to loosen their grip. The time factor is in your favor. Time can purify and wear down even the most powerful urges.

Keep practicing and give yourself some time.

Since happiness is in your destiny, you do not have to be in a hurry.

Best Wishes,

Blair

You can get our free eBook, Meditation: The Inward Journeyby visiting www.AliveandHealthy.com