How many times have you found balance in your life, only to end up in the same unwanted yet familiar territory of unwanted behaviors? You realize it's not different this time. You're stuck again.
You are not alone.
It's part of our humanity to sabotage our best efforts. Understanding and acceptance of this truth is key to your personal growth in every area of your life. When you can embrace the truth, really embrace the truth in the old saying, "no one is perfect," you allow yourself the freedom and the space to get back on track.
The Process
Example: You say you are going to make it to the gym, or run, or whatever three days a week. You get yourself out the door and make good on your commitment to get healthy. Afterwards, you feel great! You ask yourself, "Why didn't I do this before?" You go back and you feel great again and again and again! You keep going back. You feel really good about yourself.
Then, one morning, for no explicable reason, you turn off the alarm and roll back over to snooze just a few more minutes. The snooze alarm sounds and you either hit it again or turn it off all together. You tell yourself, it's just one day, and sometimes it actually is, but more often this is the beginning of the end of your new found motivation.
As the days go by, the voice inside your head starts to tell you that you're a loser, lazy, worthless...you know what it sounds like. Once you start beating yourself up, there's little hope of a recovery in the near future.
The Way Out
At this point, you actually do have an important choice to make and it's not whether or not you should drag yourself back to the gym. This the moment you can make the choice to lay down your resistance to the obvious...you are human!
The way out of this vicious cycle is to try a little tenderness. Yes, I'm suggesting that you offer yourself a little compassion. Consider what you'd say to your best friend under the same circumstances. Would you say, "I knew you wouldn't stay with it because you are such a loser, liar and you never keep your commitments?" Or would you say, "It's no big deal, you can get back to it. I believe in you. You inspire me!"
Face it. You're human and humans are flawed. Get over it.
The Possibilities
In a word, the possibilities of giving up being ashamed of your humanity are endless. Once you can embrace the truth that you are human, you have created a fertile place for endless possibilities to grow. Acceptance is the key to happiness. Acceptance is the soil in which we plant our dreams and our goals. In a field of acceptance, possibilities for a new outcome begin to germinate and grow. What would be possible if you were willing to give up making yourself WRONG when your behavior falls short of your ideals? The answer is anything. What would be possible if you could treat yourself as you would a loved one or your best friend?
The Practice
In the course of the day, starting today, notice how many times you make yourself or others wrong. You don't have to do anything beyond that. Just practice a little awareness and when you catch yourself, just notice it. Truly, that's enough to begin to change the pattern that not only gets you off track and stuck, but keeps you there.
A little awareness goes a very long way. It offers you some leverage to move forward in every area of your life. It shuts down the endless mind chatter and creates a space for a new you.
Mary Tucker is the owner and founder of the Coaching firm, Cultivate Your Life. She teaches executives and professionals how to create wealth for their company without losing their soul. She is a the author of numerous newspaper and magazine articles on personal growth, conscious leadership and successful living.
Mary Tucker is the owner and founder of the Coaching firm, Cultivate Your Life. She teaches executives and professionals how to create wealth for their company without losing their soul. She is a the author of numerous newspaper and magazine articles on personal growth, conscious leadership and successful living.