Our present is a mix of what we bring from the past and what we hope for the future. Living in the present while constantly thinking of the past will keep us tied up to what no longer exists. Whatever we feel was a mistake can’t be undone: words spoken cannot be taken and past deeds cannot be changed.
Tips to let go:
1. Clean up your closet and office: if you haven’t worn certain clothes for a year or two, give them away to charity, friends, or sell them on eBay. Clean up your office, discarding things that you don’t need or recycling others. Store what you need and let go of what you don’t need.
2. Improve your relationships: Many feel they should continue relationships even when these relationships are hurtful and limiting. Many remain in partnerships because they have been together for many years and not because they are looking forward to a loving and prosperous future together. Give it your best as you try to improve but let go if the relationship is hurtful to you or if you feel you’ve tried your very best but your partner is not up to par. Although many people say they must keep a relationship going, many fear change and get used to bad situations. If your relationship is not working, you have both tried again and again, consider letting go. If you feel like there is not option but to stay together, make sure you plan on an amicable interaction. In my work as a psychiatrist and coach, this is one of the most difficult decisions that I’ve seen people make.
3. Avoid labels: Believe it or not, bad labels may hold you back as much as good labels. If people have told you that you are a terrible artist, you may never try again. You will certainly carry this label and tell the world of what a bad artist you are even if someone said this to you decades ago and you never tried again. On the other end, if people see you as the best athlete, worker, husband, or mother, you will try to live up to that expectation. Although it is a positive trait to perform and produce at your highest level, living up to others’ expectations may be experienced as a burden. Let go of labels that you or other people have placed on you so that you can feel lighter, not needing to live up to what others think or say about you. Instead, make sure your set up goals that you are passionate about and eager to accomplish.
4. Let go of past years’ resolutions: if you have tried to lose weight for the past 5 years and you have been unable to do this, avoid setting up the same resolution. Instead, look for something that you desire and that you are passionate about to ensure that you succeed. Once you succeed, then set up another more challenging goal. Build up your objectives so that you have a success followed by another success. You will see how easy it will become to then achieve your most difficult goal.
5. Create space for good things to come: If your plate is full, there will be no room for new opportunities. By letting go you will both consciously and unconsciously create a void that will need to be filled with great things to come.
Wishing you a wonderful 2009!
GABRIELA CORA, MD, MBA
DR. GABY CORA is a Wellness doctor and coach, best-selling author and keynote speaker. Dr. Cora works with people who want to be healthy while they become wealthy. For more information about her coaching programs and seminars, visit: Executive Health & Wealth Institute
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