I’ve managed to get myself on an email list that sends me all kinds of information on the latest and the greatest ways to improve my life. I’ve programmed my computer so that all of these emails and notifications go into a separate folder and when I have time I go through them to see what I might find interesting.
The last time I went through it I had to laugh. I’d guess that 75% were offering something instantaneous. “Our program can help you lose the weight in 10 minutes”, “I can make you rich in 4 easy lessons”, “Find the love of your life in 14 Days”.
It made me wonder how many of us approach life from this vantage point. One of impatience I mean. We read about a new philosophy that we’d like to incorporate into our lives, or we learn a new skill at a seminar that we’d quickly like to implement, or we simply come to a conclusion that we’d like our life to go in a different direction and we madly begin the process of change. And sometimes if we don’t see the change quickly enough we become discouraged. We may even give up.
As I read through all of those emails I was reminded of an old Hebrew saying “Change takes but an instant. It is the resistance to change that can take a lifetime.”
It’s the desire for change that comes upon us faster than a rocket but uncovering the (sub-conscious) resistance to that change is where the work needs to get done.
Changing our perspectives and learning new skills are life experiences best looked at over longer periods of time. When we stand over our own shoulders and nit pick about what hasn’t happened or what we haven’t accomplished it only serves to discourage or frustrate us; both of which are debilitating tendencies.
I liken the experience to the familiar adage “A watched kettle never boils”.
I am learning that when I am feeling impatience, frustration, disempowerment, anger or discouragement, in that moment I am often focused on how long something is taking and no longer cognizant of the internal transformation that is taking place (albeit on a much more subtle level). I am looking far too closely at the situation and my emotions are my signal that I am watching the kettle.
As I am being impatient with my progress I am actually resisting the change I desire.
Do you ever get down on yourself when things aren’t working out as quickly as you hoped? Ie: you’re still waiting for the love of your life, you still need to lose the fifteen pounds, there’s still not as much money in the bank as you wish there was, your back still aches or you’re frustrated that… (fill in the blank).
The signal of negative emotions can be a wonderful warning sign that in this moment the focus is on the UNwanted (ie: I am resisting the change I want by focusing my attention on what hasn’t changed yet) and I need to place my focus somewhere else – anywhere else that feels better then what I am currently feeling – even if it’s just a little bit better. When I am in a place where I feel better I am in a far better frame of mind to explore the possibility of resistance to the goal I have in mind.
When we get upset with the pace of our personal growth we actually stifle it. However, when we give ourselves a little slack we allow it to develop at the pace just right for us. After all we’re not after quick superficial change are we? What we want is real, lasting, transformative change so we can build the life we want. Am I right?
If you’d like some help discovering what’s holding you back from REAL change check out www.RubyShuze.com.
Layne Schmidt is a life long learner. She believes that we all have an innate ability to create a life of our own choosing. She has developed some practicl tools to help people get through old (ineffective) behaviors with the desire to help them see more clearly how they are standing in their own way of whatever it is they truly want to experience in this life time.