The Power of Sincere Apology

The Power of Sincere Apology
[Vinod Anand]

The word ‘sorry’ is synonymous with apology. It is a common, familiar word but it is t potent and magical in its efficacy.

In our day-today life, it is symbolic of a polite apology for a wrong done intentionally or inadvertently and normally figures in the vocabulary of suave, courteous individuals. Small, insignificant wrongs like bumping accidentally into someone or stepping on someone’s foot elicit a spontaneous, even nonchalant apology from the perpetrator.

Such superficial apologies reflect a polite, well-groomed individual but they cannot precisely be categorized as being a true, meaningful apology. It is however in the larger, more profound issues of life that a heartfelt apology plays a vital role. When do we need to say we’re sorry?

When our words or actions have hurt and harmed someone. It is a two-step process. First, apologizing with sincerity and remorse and secondly, atonement has to ensue. Both these steps are complementary to each other. An apology should not simply be seen as a means to get out of a difficult situation.

A mere articulation of the word, divest of sincerity, repentance and atonement is futile and nothing but a charade. To err is human, to admit one’s error is superhuman. Tremendous courage is entailed to face the victim of our wrongdoing and apologize. It is generally seen that those who are in harmony with their life and consequently with themselves, find it easier to say ‘I’m sorry’. They are the positive, conscientious ones who are at peace only after making amends for their misdeeds. Saying ‘sorry’ does not cost much, yet achieves much.

The mileage of an earnest apology is multifaceted. The word ‘sorry’ in itself is imbued with so much potential and power within a fraction of a second, grave mistakes are diluted, tepid and estranged relations are brought alive, animosity and rancour are dissolved, misunderstandings resolved and tense situations eased out resulting in harmony and rapprochement. We not only appease the sufferer but ourselves as well.

When we say ‘sorry’, we release a prisoner and discover that the prisoner was yours truly. We had been immured in our guilt and the resultant misery. Hence, cathartic relief is obtained. At times, the guilt is so deep-rooted that it leads to psychosomatic maladies and an aberrant psyche. Mustering enough courage to apologize can be a stepping stone for our evolvement and personal expansion. We gain serenity. We get purged and empowered.

However, apologizing in grave issues may not always be easy. There can be major deterrents like an untamed ego, age, social hierarchy, insensitivity and obduracy. As Swami Sivananda has rightly said, “Eradicate self- justification. Then alone can you annihilate your ego.”

More often than not, we delude ourselves in precluding an apology by justifying our wrong. This is simply an indirect onslaught of ego. Age and social status can also thwart this sublime act. A teacher may be loath to say ‘sorry’ to his students, so will a parent to his children or the CEO of a company to his juniors. Moreover, an inherent insensitivity and obstinacy may further sabotage an apology.

In this context, it is relevant to revisit the significance of prayer. A large chunk of our everyday prayers comprise of apology to God for our transgressions. All religious scriptures elucidate that when we say ‘sorry’ to God in all earnestness and repentance for our misdemeanours, they get washed away and we receive divine blessings. Such is the power of a sincere apology.