How To Never Achieve Anything In 7 Easy Steps

Just Forget About New Years Resolutions and Going After Your Goals

New Years resolutions and going after your goals are highly overrated. Why not just stay where you are, where it’s nice and comfy? Just in case you get the urge to change your life here’s some proven techniques to keep you right where you are.

Step #1) Never Get Clear on What You Really Want
Clarifying your goals and the direction you want to go in really interferes with staying stuck. If you really know what you want and where you want to go you might actually end up heading in that direction.

Can you believe it? Some people really follow that pesky SMART goal thing. You know, Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic and Time-oriented. It’s much better to keep your goals vague and in the “someday” realm”. Otherwise you might get the wise idea and start taking small steps towards it.

Step #2) Don’t Stay Focused and Let Your Distractions Rule
I recommend keeping your environment messy and full of distractions. Don’t have a single place to track your goals. Better yet, don’t have any goals. That way you won’t be disappointed.

But if you feel like you need to have some goals so you fit in just don’t do anything about them. Just mention them at appropriate times and once in a while look sort of busy on a goal. It will distract others, which will get them worrying about achieving their own goals.

And if you’re going to do the fitting in thing make sure you have LOTS and LOTS of goals in ALL areas of your life and tell others about everything you’re going to get done this year so they feel envious and inadequate. Again, this may distract them from their goals as well. An added bonus.

Another great way to practice this step is to always keep looking for another bigger , better , brighter and shinier object.. You know, yet another weight loss program, device, supplement, patch, book, DVD, etc. This can waste gobs of time. Especially if you use the internet or TV to do it.

Step #3) Don’t Get Clear About Why You Want this Goal
If you were really clear then you might actually find a way around those annoying obstacles when they arose. Definitely do not imagine yourself having achieved the goal nor identify the benefits of it. You’ll just get your hopes up.

Better to choose goals that don’t excite or appeal to you or that someone else thinks you should do. Or choose ones that you’re just not that serious about. Come on. Kick back. Relax. Crack a beer. And think about something more pleasant.

Step #4) Don’t Believe In Yourself, Your Goal or Any of That Other Personal Growth Stuff
Let’s face it. You’re probably not success material anyway so all those books and tapes and workshops are just a waste of time, money and energy. And if you hang out with successful people you’ll just feel bad that you’re not.

Call one of your “friends” who doesn’t really believe in you nor in himself, and isn’t going anywhere in his own life. Hang out A LOT. Listen to his advice and give up now. You’ll feel better about yourself because you are more successful than him.

Be sure to listen to all of your negative self-talk, as well. That Itty Bitty Shitty Committee has been with you a LONG, LONG time. It must know you pretty well and what you are really capable of. Anyone who tells to not listen is just a Pollyanna.

Step #5) You Don’t Need Any More Skill or Knowledge. School was enough.
After all, everything you need to know you learned in kindergarten, right? Learning new stuff just takes a lot of time, effort and money, and there’s no guarantee that it will help in the long or short run.

If you’re not getting around to doing something it must mean you just shouldn’t do it. Period. Never mind that you may not be able to move forward on your goal without that new skill or knowledge.

Step #6) Taking Care of Yourself Is Just One More Thing To Do
It’s too much work. It’s selfish. And what does that have to do with achieving anything anyway. OK, so you might have more energy and focus but look at all the effort you have to put out to get that.

Eating right, meditation, exercise, reading supportive and inspirational material, investing in your personal, professional and spiritual development, taking vacations. Blah, blah, blah. Is that too much work, or what? I need a rest.

Step #7) Do Not Ask For Any Help or Support.
You can do this all by yourself. Besides, you can’t really trust the experts to know what they are doing.

The support you could get from those mastermind groups, accountability buddies and coaches is for sissies.

Don’t align yourself with organizations and individuals that can help you succeed. It shows that you’re weak. Resist the temptation to bring in talent and resources when you are feeling stuck. Stay strong.

Bonus Step!) Do Not Ever Write Down Your Goals
That’s just one more step to do. And besides it wastes paper. 97% of people don’t write down their goals so why should you? You want to fit in, don’t you? Most of the cool stuff happens because of that other 3% of people who do write down their goals. So what. Whatever. Big deal.

Isn’t your favorite TV show about to come on? Doesn’t another round of solitaire or Mahjong on the computer sound fun? You’ve already exerted way too much effort reading this. You deserve a rest. You can review these steps tomorrow or some other day.