While I was starting to share some of thoughts with you on the topic of how to take tough times in your stride I suddenly remembered a cartoon I saw long time ago. It was that of David and Goliath where, David sees Goliath tinier than him though the picture of Goliath is hundred times magnified, as printed on the cartoon book. The caption just under the cartoon read very simple. It said: It's all in the perspective! The cartoon not only set me thinking but it threw open some very closed doors in my mind. Whenever I passed through any tough time, or had any negative experience I did feel let down, or rejected or even demeaned. But as I thought more and went deeper into every emotion that passed through me and the details of what led to the situation which I considered 'tough' it brought be back to the same platform where I started. I started to view things differently and people with more compassion and forgiveness and soon I did not feel so bad after all.
Every situation which we come across in life has several ways to be looked at and judged. The problem is usually we are stuck with only one point of view. We cease to be rational any more simply because we consider ourselves defeated, demeaned or a failure. A tough time results in our losing mental composure as well as loss of self confidence and esteem. In short, we have created the cloud ourselves and have decided to get blinded by our own judgment and analysis. Stop for a moment and re-think. Walk through the situations which have led to the 'tough' time or run through the people who have made your life miserable, be it your boss, spouse or whatever. Be as pragmatic and unbiased as you can when you are looking within for answers. Let your thoughts flow in this manner:
· How did it all begin?
· Who are the main people responsible for creating this tough situation in my life?
· What are their stakes in creating such an adverse situation?
· Was I in any way responsible in stepping on their toes at any time?
· Was I also vindictive in my action towards them, ever?
· Can I put myself in their shoes and view the situation the way they are doing?
If you can do this self analysis pragmatically and taking yourself out of the 'tough' situation, you would be surprised how many truths, many unpleasant perhaps, would emerge. I have always believed that if I know the problem or the root of the problem, then I also have the solution.
Tough times are nothing new to us. All of us go through it many times over in our lives. Many such tough times happen as part of the societal growth or adverse situations which are beyond our control. Examples could be loss of job due to downsizing, lack of money due to inflation, debts or ill health in the family, loss of a dear one, and so on. Such situations are explained in a number of Asian philosophies – the Chinese Yin Yang comes to my mind first. Yin Yang is the ultimate truth about duality of life – when there is day, there ought to night, grief and happiness, bad times and good times and so on. The whole universe is a moving circle of the good and the bad all built in as one whole – when you have bad times, there is bound to be good times too. Incredible but true, we remember sad times more than the good times but also have the capacity to instantly forget the tough times when the sun rises again. We are blessed with this supreme power of tiding over turbulent times and we move on. Not because we can but we have to.
Thus the take home message of how to tide over tough times could be summarized as follows:
· Take the tough time and the good time both in your stride.
· Remember nothing is permanent in life, not even the tough times that you are going through.
· The world also has beautiful people, splendid environment and many talents within you which, if tapped properly can make ride over these issues with grace and fortitude.
· It is wise not to come to any judgment about people who you believe are behind giving you this tough time. If looking from their perspective does not help heal your mind – move on and soon they would become history.
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