Have you been dumped lately? I know it can really hurt. I’ve been there myself. It can be truly agonizing to sit there, feeling while you’re life is falling apart. Maybe you are even haunted by all sorts of questions about why it happened.

Well, here is a simple thing you can (and should) do as soon as you get dumped.

All you have to do is completely cut off all contact with your ex for at least one month.

This is known as the No Contact Rule, and it has helped countless people get through tough break ups in their lives.

So, why do we do this?

Well, contacting your ex isn’t really going to help you feel better when you’re in the emotional state because you need time to heal your own emotional wounds from the break up.

Constantly hearing news about how “gosh darn swell” they’re doing isn’t going to make you feel good. In fact it could make you feel horrible. Especially if they are seeing someone new already.

Take this one-month period to pull yourself together and get your emotions under control.

What should you do for one month?

Well, this really depends on what you want or need to do with your life. Everyone has things that they love doing or changes they need to make in their life.

This is the time to do those!

If you need to find a better job or shed a few extra pounds, then this is your time to take care of that.

If you love learning new things or meeting new friends, then you want to do this now too.

What you’re doing is taking your life in a positive new direction to change your focus from negative things to positive things. Instead of feel bad about the break up, you can do things you enjoy and rebuild your confidence as you make slow but steady progress toward your new goals.

After one month, if you feel ready, you can get back in touch with your ex. But don’t feel bad if you want to continue on with No Contact for a longer period of time. There are no rules here and you’ll do best if you just go with your gut instinct.

When you’re strong enough emotionally, you’ll be much more prepared to see your ex again without being so shaken by them (or their dating life).

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If you found this helpful and you’d like to learn a few signs your ex is over you or other bits of relationship advice, be sure to check out this article on what to do if your girlfriend or boyfriend wants a break.