10 Red Flags Of An Unhealthy Relationship

In relationships, the term “red flag” is used to describe a warning signal that something could be really wrong. Learning to detect red flags and respond healthily is a valuable skill that can help empower the individuals and gives them more knowledge how to proceed in relationship.

This tool requires that you know what signs to look for and what they could mean to a relationship. According to Dr. Kevin Skinner, PhD the president of Growth Climate, “One of the best ways to know if a behavior is a problem is to trust your instincts and to learn about abusive techniques.” Below is a list of some of the most common red flags.

1. Blamer—Takes No Responsibility—An individual who makes his or her problems out to always be someone else’s fault and consistently portrays him or herself as the victim should be considered a possible source of trouble.
2. Isolation—A lot of abusers like to keep their victims isolated from outside influences and resources.
3. Jealousy—Abusers often accuse their victim of not being faithful. Some will even become upset if the victim talks to his or her friends or family too much.
4. Toot Their Own Horn—These types of people look for opportunities to let their importance be known. They consider themselves “one of a kind,” more special, or better than others.
5. Put Others on the Defensive—When an abuser feels threatened, a favorite tool of defense is a distracting or overbearing response, such as becoming hypercritical, sarcastic, angry, and/or silent.
6. Confusion—The abuser will talk in circles, purposely keeping the subject matter vague. The abuser is not making sense and is purposely being mysterious in order to keep the listener on edge.
7. Loners—Most abusers lack the ability to emotionally connect with others.
8. Talk It To Death/Silence—The talk it to death pattern is where an abuser repeats what he or she wants you to believe so often that you end up believing this version is what you thought all along. Alternatively, an abuser can withdraw attention, love, and approval as a form of punishment.
9. Unrealistic Expectations— Abusers have the expectation that others will always meet ALL their needs and when this doesn’t happen they become upset, which normally results in abusive behaviors.
10. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Syndrome—The person who acts like Jekyll and Hyde changes moods quickly and there’s no way to know when or how. nnn