A Deeper Look at How Parents Show Encouragement.


Image by Ed Yourdon

The following statements are brief. But, they’re huge in meaning. If you’ll read them slowly as you study your child and yourself, if you’ll think about and digest them even more slowly, you’ll achieve a deeper and closer relationship with her. I hope you’ll try it.

You With Your Child.

  1. When your child speaks to you, listen for feelings, not just facts. Listen for the meaning of what she's saying to you. Then, let her know you hear it.
  2. Allow your child to own her problems; don't make them yours.
  3. Support your child in finding her own answers. She must practice solving problems and making decisions to gain those skills and raise her confidence.
  4. Trust your child to learn and grow and change herself. Don't assume it's your responsibility to force change.


You With You.

  1. Be a person, as well as a parent. Don't ignore your own needs.
  2. Build your own life apart from your children. Live it.
  3. Let your child know your feelings. But, tell your feelings to enhance your relationship, not to control or "guilt" your child.
  4. Admit your own mistakes to your child.
  5. Have the courage to change yourself.
  6. Shed any guilt you have about past errors as a parent. Guilt won't help your relationship in the future.


Warmest regards until
next time,



If you find this article useful and think others will too, please pass it on. Make sure and check back here next Tuesday for new material, and check the movie blog on Thursday for a new review. And, thanks so much for reading.

Author's Bio: 

Joan Chamberlain is an author, therapist, and life coach with over 30 years of experience helping adults, couples, and teens. She has a Bachelor's degree in Business and Finance, a Bachelor's in education, and a Masters in individuals, couples, and family counseling. Her book, Smart Relationships, has helped many people achieve the self-awareness needed to see themselves honestly. Its wisdom has helped them work toward improving their relationships with themselves, their friends, and their families.

To learn more about the ideas and concepts presented in her articles, please peruse her website: