Article

10 Commandments Of Healthy Divorce

Written by Jeff Ashi Olshan

Topic: DivorcePublished July 28, 2008

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Thou shalt not deny thy children their inherent birthright to love and be loved by both parents, regardless of what their parents may feel or think about each other.
Thou shalt nurture thy children as well as thyself – not negating their need to have the same from their other parent, when it is both safe and possible.
Thou shalt not convert feelings of hurt into actions of anger, but rather embrace thy despair with dignity and faith in healing, while seeking professional help to stay on a healthy course of healing, for the best interests of all concerned. *
Thou shalt never discredit thy children’s other parent within ear’s distance of them, that thou might spare thy children a lifetime of ‘unnecessary’ confusion, distraction, debilitation and pain.
Thou shalt honor thy children’s other parent, for thy children’s sake, and never collude with friends by disrespectfully defining that parent’s character, regardless of thy disheartenment.
Thou shalt seek appropriate, experienced counsel or support groups, and not inappropriately use thy children for counsel, for the sake of their emotional stability. *
Thou shalt honor the truth with discernment, being sensitive to the words thou may choose to use, and their impact when speaking with thy children about feelings and events. *
Thou shalt strive for truthful communication, and seek to learn how to do it skillfully with compassion. *
Thou shalt gracefully receive all that is given and not frown upon all that is not, surrendering to all that Spirit has in store for thee, for with all loss there can be great gain.
Thou shalt rejoice in the living, loving, laughing and learning to be happy and free - in thyself, with thy children, and optimally with thy former spouse as well, for the sake of thy beloved children. nn* Call Jeff Ashi Olshan – The Healthy Divorce Coach, for private & group n support - The Healthy Divorce Healing Course.(TM) (707) 542-4ART(278)

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About the Author

Jeff, known as Ashi, is a 61-year-old survivor of divorce. First, the unhealthy divorce of his parents, when he was seven, and then two divorces of his own - in large part due to the unnecessary damage created by his parents common ignorance about behavior, in the 1950s. As both child and parent of divorce, divorce and non-abusive behavioral consciousness raising have bee
Ash's life long work. He has taught and facilitated groups for organizations dedicated to these ideals - including the Manalive Men's Program - Men ending men's violence, for Marin Abused Women's Services - as well as created and facilitated groups of his own. Since 1975, he has authored many published articles and several program manuals - used as the textbooks for the programs he created: "RESOLUTIONS - Resolving Human Conflict," & "ART FOR TRANSFORMATION (AFT) - Prevention and Recovery Thru Creativity." Presently, as an artist/educator, devoted to ending violent behavior on the planet, especially divorce child abuse, Ashi is a peer counselor for both children and parents of divorce - in both, workshops and privately. It is his strongest conviction that Divorce, the rude awakening that it is, need not be rude nor crude, but rather the vehicle to drive all its participants to a higher road of loving consciousness.

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