2 Big Mistakes People Make with Break Ups

So, you got dumped. Don’t feel too bad. It happens to all of us from time to time. I know you probably feel pretty bad. Maybe you’re blaming yourself for screwing things up or not paying enough attention to your relationship.

Maybe you’re even acting out to desperately get your ex to give you another shot. I know I sure did. I would call her several times per day, begging and pleading to give me another chance (not my prettiest moment!).

But here are a few mistakes that people make with break ups and why you want to avoid them.

First, don’t contact them very often (not at all, if possible).

This is important, because for whatever reason your ex gave you for the break up, the real reason is because they want space away from you or the relationship.

By constantly trying to get a hold of them to understand why they left, or to get closure, or to ask them for another chance, you have to understand that you really aren’t giving them the space that they want. This will just make them push you away even more in an attempt to get space.

Second, don’t sit around feeling depressed.

Break ups hurt. I get that. You should absolutely take time to mourn the loss of your relationship, but don’t turn it into a chronic habit.

Sulking around at home isn’t going to get you very far and it sure as heck isn’t going to make your ex miss you or want to get back together with you.

A lot of people have this belief that if they can just get their ex to feel guilty about hurting them, that it will somehow make them want to get back together.

Un fortunately that’s not how people feel attraction. People are attracted to others because they make them feel good, not because they make them feel bad.

If you want your ex to associate positive things to you, you should get busy making your life the best you can. Move your life in a positive direction by taking up new hobbies or interests. If you need to clean up some area of your life, then this is a great time to do this too.

When your ex sees that you’re taking action to move your life toward your goals, they will feel like you are someone special that they want to have in their life and they’ll start to think that maybe getting back together might not be a bad idea.