While there are certain aspects of a relationship that you should be taking time to think about, if you are overthinking every aspect of your relationship, there’s a good chance that you’re going to kill it sooner or later.

People who overthink everything tend to be a lot more anxious in general, which can lead to a lot of problems in life and relationships.

So, here are 3 reasons why overthinking kills relationships:

1. It prevents forward motion

When you spend so much time thinking about something, it can make it impossible to move forward. Relationships are made up of a lot of little and big steps as you both move through life.

Examples of these are meeting each other’s friends, parents, and other family members, moving in together, and getting married. Of course, not every relationship is going to get to every step and they’re not going to go in the same order for everyone.

Imagine that he wants you to meet his parents. Even though he assures you that they are laid back and will love you, you begin overthinking it: “What if they hate me? What if I say something stupid? What if I trip and fall on my face and they laugh at me?”

This type of overthinking leads to irrational anxiety about meeting his parents and so you come up with a list of reasons to not take that important step in a relationship, making it impossible for the relationship to continue forward at a normal pace.

2. It makes everything more difficult.

Overthinking in a relationship makes it more difficult because you often end up sucking the fun out of situations. This is because instead of being able to enjoy the moment, you’re busy thinking about what’s going to happen next or even further in the future, or you’re worried about what could go wrong to ruin the moment.

When you can’t enjoy the time you spend with your partner, then everything is more difficult for both of you, and he can’t enjoy time spent with you, either.

The other reason overthinking makes everything more difficult is that you’ll often find yourself disappointed in the way things turn out because you’ve built them up so much in your head.

For example, if you are attending a wedding with your partner, you may expect that it will be a perfectly romantic evening.

But, when the evening isn’t as magical as you had expected, you’ll find yourself disappointed in him and the relationship because of your own impossible expectations.

3. It creates problems where there aren’t any.

Sometimes, your partner will do something slightly out of character, like resisting letting you see what he’s doing on his phone or have unusual sounds in the background when he answers his phone.

Although in most cases there is a perfectly logical and innocent explanation for whatever is going on, an overthinker is going to quickly come up with a whole list of scenarios in which there is a huge problem, despite there being little to no evidence of one.


When you do find yourself overthinking anything in a relationship, take a deep breath instead and evaluate whether or not you’re putting the relationship at risk because of the wild thoughts in your own head or if there is a legitimate problem that should be talked out with your partner.

Author's Bio: 

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