3 Reasons Why You Should Not Pursue a Man by Relationship Expert Kara Oh
If you want to be in a happy, long-term relationship, it's important to know what you need to do so you don't blow it from the start. You see, the greatest joy for any woman who want's a man to make her feel cherished, is how good it feels when he pursues you. Way too often, as today's confident, strong and powerful woman, you think nothing of making the first move. But you don't realize that with that first initial contact, if you are the one making it, you have ruined it before it's begun.

Here are 3 reasons why:

  1. When you pursue him, you are being the man.
    Men not only like the chase, then need it. If you take over, you're taking his "job" away from him. ONLY respond when he approaches you. The first time you meet, smile for 6 seconds. If he's interested, he'll approach. Then, if he does, let him say the first words. If you approach him and start the conversation, you have just stepped into the position of being the man. So respond to his questions, be impressed with him, don't try to impress him. Then, when you start dating a man, DO NOT email, text, or phone him. Only respond to his emails, texts, and phone calls. Reply to them all but don't initiate. This keeps things going in the right direction. You see, if you pursue him in any way, you never really know if he's really into you.
  2. When you pursue him, you won't know if he's into you.
    Men can be pretty lazy when it comes to women. If you initiate the first contact, and you're attractive to him, he'll be flattered and go with it. But you'll never really know if he's into you because once you make the first move, you're likely to keep initiating each step along the way. Men are more than happy to hang with you while they're waiting for something better to come along. In the meantime, you're getting emotionally attached. When he finally does leave, you are hurt and wondering what happened. When you let him lead the way, with each phase, you'll know from day one that he's into you.
  3. When you pursue him you miss out on how good it feels to be a woman.
    One of the wonderful things about being a woman is how good it feels when a man you're attracted to pursues and woos you. So let him initiate the first conversation, all phone calls, all invites to go out on dates, all emails, all texts. Your job is to respond to his overtures. The moment you start initiating emails, texts and phone calls, you start taking on male energy and it no longer feels good. And, if he begins to lose interest, you won't know because you're doing the work.

Once you've become an established, monogamous, committed couple--which, by the way, can ONLY happen with a clear and open conversation--then you can occasionally initiate communication with him. But most men don't need to connect as often, don't need as many words, and don't want to chit-chat. So keep it to a minimum. Some women think only once a day is minimal. I say once a week is more appropriate, if at all. If you let him guide the flow of energy, and let him move the relationship along, you won't make yourself crazy wondering why he isn't responding when you reach out.

Women today are so strong that they don't realize they are taking the pleasure of pursuit from the man. Then they wonder why he loses interest. If you do what I suggest above, I'm certain you'll discover how delicious it is to be pursued.

One thing I recommend you do in the meantime, is learn my Secrets about men. There are so many mistakes women make today and have no idea why they're struggling to establish a long-term, fulfilling relationship. Don't let that be you. Get my book, Men Made Easy, and begin to take charge of your love life by learning the secrets to a man's heart. Hint: enjoy being a woman. The best way to do that is to learn how to develop Feminine Grace, which is the foundation of everything I teach.

From my heart to yours,

Kara Oh, Author of Men Made Easy and other relationship books

Author's Bio: 

relationship coach, best-selling author and public speaker, offers a full range of products and services to assist women and men with everything they need to create fulfilling relationships that are filled with love, playfulness, romance and passion. Whether you are single and looking for the right partner, involved and frustrated, or married and struggling with everything from an affair to falling out of love, her unique resources offer everything that you need to enjoy the kind of relationship you

Men Made Easy - How to Capture His Heart Forever. What if you learned how to go from "totally confused" about men to knowing how to melt his heart and be cherished by a man who adores you forever? Learn how here.