3 Steps to Unhook from Resentment

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. ~Don Miguel Ruiz

One of the most powerful shifts that you can make is to reclaim your energy from the ‘hurts’ that you’ve experienced from other people.

Let’s face it, if you’ve been on the planet long enough you’re sure to amass a number of resentments for what was said to you, done to you, or even not said or done to you. The litany of loss can become an insurmountable burden!

What if it wasn’t about you at all? What if those experiences were just mindless moments, when someone was ‘asleep’ to the ripple effect of their words and actions? And … can you say that you have never experienced that slumber yourself?

Think of the ‘oops!’ times. When you said or did something and later on realized it was unkind, or even mean. We ALL experience moments of unawareness. The degree to which you flip in and out of it is totally dependent on your choice to awaken, to remember who you really are.

Here are 3 steps you can take when resentment rears it’s shadowed head:

1. Acknowledge what is. This is the tricky part, if you just rely on your surface point of view – or how things look – you might miss the ‘real opportunity.’ Take a moment to close your eyes and deepen your breath. Sink into the
center of your being and notice that your surface awareness is just like the tip of the iceberg… it’s not the whole story. Consider that there may be more going on than meets the eye, at first glance.

2. Surrender your judgment. When you judge another you are creating separation. When you are in separation you are in a state that is ‘not True’ and from this perspective there can be no true connection and understanding. Think of the times when you made a quick judgment only to discover later that you were wrong. What if you approached judgment this way each time? You don’t know the full story and can’t if you are in separation. Take a moment to breathe, relax and expand your awareness until all of Life is contained within you, from that perspective you and the other are One! That is true! Take a moment to connect heart to heart, essence to essence. Feel the sensation of oneness that is there right below the surface.

3. Forgive the ‘perpetrator’. It’s easy to slip into judgment and point the finger at someone who’s hurt you and make them wrong for it. Sometimes you are ‘right’ on the surface, but will that bridge the gap between you? Forgiveness is a tool that corrects perception. It reawakens your true sense of self and naturally and easily rights your world. Notice how good it feels to forgive. The heavy burden is lifted and you are restored to rightness and lightness. Take note that sometimes that perpetrator is you and often the harshest treatment is reserved for your own lapse of light.

Lighten up! It’s an adventure, made richer by the your experience. It’s ALL good, even though it may not immediately feel so. Know that resentment is an opportunity to own your innate authority to partner with life and evolve! Say, “Yes!”