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3 Ways to De-Stress Your Life & Your Relationship in 2011

Written by Dr. Patty A Tublin

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished January 21, 2011
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Many of us make a toast to health and happiness in the New Year. One great way to improve your health in 2011 is to reduce stress. Here are three ways to de-stress your life and relationship this year.

1. Communicate
When you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, tell your partner. Let them know the source of your stress: Is it work? The kids? Financial worries? Health issues? You? (Yes, you read that correctly – you may be the source of your partner’s stress.) Many times we assume our partner knows we are stressed. Don’t assume this – they may just think you are tired or in a bad mood.

Just communicating and talking about the stress (and stressors) in your life will have a way of de-stressing you. Having someone listen to you and knowing you are not alone during stressful moments not only makes the stress in your life feel less burdensome, it also brings you emotionally closer to your partner. Sharing stressful times with your partner strengthens the emotional bond and connection you feel with each other.

So don’t go it alone. Communicate with your partner about the stress you are feeling and gain their invaluable emotional support.

2. How we PERCEIVE stress impacts how we HANDLE it.
Remember, everybody has stress in their lives – every single person. It is totally unrealistic (and quite insane) to think we can eliminate it from our lives. But we can control how it affects us. If we do not exert some control over the stress in our lives, the stress will control us. This is truly the kiss of death for our sanity.

All stressors do not have equal weight and equal value. For example, the stress related to a minor fender bender is no way near equal to the stress related to losing your job. You might laugh at this point and think it’s obvious, but many people react to all stressors as if they are the same. They are not! So keep your stressors in perspective of your entire life. Remember all the things you have to be grateful and thankful for. If you are alive – and healthy – no one stressor should be perceived as the end of the world!

3. Breathe deeply and be aware of what you are feeling.
When we become stressed we tend to hold our breath. This creates an unhealthy physiological reaction to stress and jams up all our emotional feelings and responses.

So take a moment and breathe deeply, in and out. This will help center you and get you in touch with what you are feeling; otherwise you will just feel totally overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed negatively impacts your ability to recognize and understand your emotions, leaving you virtually paralyzed to effectively deal with your stressful situation. Yoga and meditation are two great ways to learn breathing techniques to help you center your mind and body and get “grounded.”

Since we can’t avoid stress in our lives, these tips will help you learn how to handle it effectively so 2011 is indeed a year of health and happiness.

Article author

About the Author

During the past 25 years, renowned relationship expert Dr. Patty A

Tublin has helped hundreds of people rekindle romance and reignite passion in their relationships. The solutions in her Relationship Toolbox™ help couples re-build romance so intimacy inside and outside the bedroom can flourish. Through her successful 25-year marriage and her experience of raising 4 children, Dr. Patty Ann has earned an international reputation for saving relationships. To reignite your flames of passion, visit her site at www.drpattyann.com.

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