4 Tips for Surviving a Difficult Divorce

Going through a divorce is tough for anyone. When the circumstances are difficult, the situation is even worse. If you are dealing with a turbulent ending of your marriage, the following tips may help.

Stay Calm

Tensions often flare as couples begin to separate their lives together. It is easy to lose your temper and say things that cause the situation to escalate. Keep in mind that no matter the reasons for the divorce, both parties are likely to experience negative emotions. If you find it difficult to control your feelings, keep some distance from your spouse when both of you are at home. When you must be together, maintain at least a business-type respect for each other, especially if children are around.

Organize Marital Assets

Couples often argue over who gets what when the marriage breaks up. Make a fair list of what you feel you are entitled to in dividing household goods and other assets that accumulated during the marriage. Your spouse should do the same, and then both of you should exchange your lists to discuss, or if that is not possible, to write a response to the other person's list. You may have to exchange the list back and forth a few times to find agreement, or an attorney may be able to help sort out the belongings.

Try to Arrange Children's Issues

If you have children, their well-being will need to be coordinated through child support, visitations, and agreements on school, religious training, and similar issues. This can be an especially challenging aspect of the divorce. Again, a divorce attorney can help to objectively negotiate these concerns or arrange for arbitration if needed.

Seek Legal Counsel

If it appears from the start of the divorce that things could get rocky, you should consider retaining a legal separation attorney who can assist with an orderly process from the beginning. A legal separation is usually the first step, and this is when the core issues start to be addressed either temporarily or permanently. Work with the attorney to provide timely information and feedback as needed. Attend scheduled meetings and hearings if requested. Making a consistent effort to handle the divorce proceedings honestly and fairly will help things to go smoother and facilitate the job of the arbiter, magistrate, or judge, depending on how the divorce is processed.

Don't let tensions between you and your spouse get out of hand as you prepare for a divorce. Maintain a neutral, objective mindset and work with an experienced attorney to achieve the best outcome for all involved.