Falling in love with your friend’s ex is something you didn’t and wouldn’t plan at all. You didn’t even search for it. It just happened all of a sudden. You are into it, and he is also into it, there’s some significant chemistry, and you stumbled upon some romance. There’s just one big issue. He is an ex-boyfriend of one of your friends. A lot of questions soon arise in your mind, will the relationship work? How would your friend take this new found love of yours? Will, it just be another toxic relationship in the future, you'll never know until you take a toxic relationship quiz. Remember, love can be a lot but dating doesn't have to be, so before you fully invest your time and feelings - be aware of some signs of a relationship that will never work.

Now you’re stuck between avoiding someone who could end up being your better half or leaving one of your friendships at risk.

One of the favorite questions with regards to the relationship-friendship zone is, what are the principles of dating the ex of a friend? Here are some important rules you need to consider if you undergo this kind of predicament.

Think about the problem

You might believe that there’s no big deal since we are already adults. But here is the catch, if a deeply passionate relationship once occurred, it would be hard to be around exes. In most cases, your friend will allow you to date her ex, but in the event of not seeing her more often.

Your friend wishes you abundance in this relationship. And in line with these best wishes for you, she wouldn’t want you to be awkward with this guy wherein this awkward scenario will be inevitable if she is around.

Breakups need space. So if you wish to spend time with someone who is still having some issues with your friend, that would also mean that you will need some space from your friend too.

Is it worth it?

Everyone knows the distinction between a fling and something more. A fling is just like a saying “We share a lot of common things, ” and something more is saying “I think there could be something in there.” You should know the difference because it is an essential part of deciding if it’s worth it to date your friend’s ex.

Some individuals concur that friendships are more important than a few exhilarating dates. Carefully think when you spend time with someone who has a past relationship with a friend, particularly if you can’t see a future with the person.

You might be preparing yourself to attract the guy and wear many elegant women dresses just to keep him, but if one of your main goals in life is to look for someone you want to marry, you should certainly disregard those things you’re looking for in a guy without some in-depth consideration.

You never know unless you ask

Before the situation gets serious, you’ve got to ask your friend, preferably, before something happens. You need to tell her that you are dating her ex. If you want to keep your friendship, make sure that you open up with them regarding sensitive cases like dating their past lovers. There might be some cases in which dating your friend’s ex would totally ruin a friendship. This situation may be the cause of the distance between the two of you.

But there might be instances that it is just completely fine for her or just something in between. However, unless you ask your friend if it’s okay with her, will you ever know? It is necessary to ask for your friend’s consent to avoid any future conflicts, even when they are long over.

Extenuate the situation

Of course, not all circumstances are equal. There are some lines that no one should cross. Sure, it might create a good scene, but at what stage are you ready to end friendships and complicate the whole group of friends?

Before biting and taking risks in proceeding with this relationship, make sure that you were able to think through this vigorously. Why don't you try taking a toxic relationship quiz to see if all your sacrifices will be worth it? For a few days keep a distance from that guy, and if it is too sickening not to see him for a week, then you can consider his existence as a potential life-partner.

Own the risk involved

Before anything else, always consider first that dating your friend's ex-partner is full of risks. Things may not turn out well for your friendship which may, unfortunately, end in losing your friend or lover, or both.

Because even if your friend already mentioned that he or she is totally fine with the idea, men and women are not a hundred percent okay with it. Even when they say “okay” out loud, it may not be “okay” inside. These hidden feelings may cause awkward situations between you and your friend. You should be aware of all the risks all the time.


Everyone will agree that we all want to be happy, and most of us want to find someone with whom we can live happily ever after. You might bump into someone you never expected like your friend’s ex.

However, if you do things the right way, a lot of these complicated relationships can succeed. The most vital thing is to be thoughtful, proactive, and considerate, especially when some intense emotions got involved.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Heidi from https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/ specializes in Toxic Relationship Healing & Awareness.