Divorce & Separation

Over the recent years, divorce has become increasingly common and related statistics haven't made it easier for divorcees to deal with the pain of separation either. Heartbreak, acceptance of the reality, adjusting to a new life, managing chores and finances singlehandedly, and more can make it extremely difficult for involved parties to come to terms with their new status.

While things do get better down the road, surviving the first few days, even months, after the divorce can be challenging.

Help is at hand with these five tips on coping with divorce and the impending separation.

1) Acknowledge Your Feelings

Post-divorce, you're bound to feel a range of strong emotions. Accept each one instead of suppressing them or denying feelings that make you feel guilty or bad for feeling them. Accept the guilt but take the sting or the blame out of your emotions. Think “I feel guilty” instead of “I am guilty.”

Since you'll be dealing with several ups and downs, the conflicting emotions can leave you confused. A good idea is to maintain an emotional tracker and make a note of your feelings through the day. Doing so can serve as a healthy outlet for your emotions, helping you heal and get through this difficult time.

2) Don't Pretend Everything's Fine

Irrespective of the initiator of the divorce, it is tough on both parties involved. After all, it entails the breaking down of a relationship that was nurtured over a period of time. Your separation doesn't just involve dividing your material possessions, you're losing your partner, family structure, daily routines, and more.

Dealing with the pain of separation can be particularly difficult if you weren't expecting it or were betrayed by your partner. So, don't pretend that everything is fine and you have it all together; allow yourself to feel sad and mourn the loss of someone that mattered the most to you.

3) Know That It Will Get Better

Time heals all wounds, which is why you'll make it to the other side of the emotional rollercoaster sooner or later. Just realize that while each day may seem to drag forever currently, there will be an end to this.

Presently, you might be faced with scary situations and thoughts - perhaps you're worried about your finances, kids, or juggling work and other commitments. List down all that's worrying you and chart out the worst possible outcomes. This will help you be prepared, fear the unknown less, keep you from ruminating endlessly, and drive you to think strategically.

Speaking to a local divorce lawyer may help too. For example, if you stay in Illinois and are unsure about how the custody of your kids or monetary settlements will work out, speak to an divorce lawyer in St. Charles, IL or near your residence to get a clearer picture.

4) Take Each Day as It Comes

Mulling over what went wrong in your relationship or the extent to which you are responsible for the ending of your marriage isn't going to help. Sure, it's important to analyze your behavior and actions - it'll help when you're ready to build another relationship. But for the time being, you need to focus on the present!

What happened is in the past, and forward is the only way you can go now. Allow your pain to motivate you and help you grow into a better person. Take care of yourself by eating right, avoiding alcohol, getting enough rest, and exercising regularly. Managing daily workload can be tough, so consider taking a break. However, continue with the routine if it makes you feel better. Just don't overexert yourself!

5) Confide in Loved Ones

You don't have to go through this situation alone; seek help from friends or family. Remember to confide only in the people you trust the most instead of opening up to everyone you know. You can also consider joining a support group to connect with people who are going through or have been in a similar situation.

Another good idea is to attend personal counseling or therapy, especially if you're unable to move on or your sadness isn't decreasing over time. Attending courses or learning sessions on managing stress and emotions can also help you evolve into a healthier and stronger version of yourself.


Adjusting your life's perspectives and finding new purpose can take a while. But go about this the right way and you're sure to come out stronger and happier! We hope the above tips help you overcome the pain of your divorce and separation.

Author's Bio: 

Earl Reser is a freelance writer & blogger based in the United States and she has been in this writing profession for the last 5 years. She is ready to help anyone that has to do with words/contents.