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5 Secrets for Healthy Relationships Even if your Investments are not!

Written by Kim Kirmmse Toth

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished November 11, 2008
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You are scared to open your retirement account when it arrives in the mail. Or you open it, take a quick peak and feed it into your shredder. You drive by the gas station and even though the price at the tank is going down some, who knows what it will be next week. Are those days of road trips with the family really over? And what about grocery shopping or clothes shopping? What about your kids or grandkids college funds? The market may or may not have time to recover to cover the costs. All of this is very stressful and takes its toll on you. And if it takes its toll on you, how does it affect the other loved ones in your life? Are you the same person you are when times are good? Probably not. You mind is going in different directions and it’s not pretty. So, what do you do? How do you make sure that even if your financial world is struggling, that you most important relationships still thrive. Here are 5 Secrets: 1. Talk about what is happening!n• Talk to your spouse/partner and discuss your feelings with each other. Whether you are scared or depressed or not even sure what you are feeling.n• Talk to your children also. If you are a baby boomer chances are your children are old enough to understand at least generally what is going on in our financial world. Discuss your thoughts and feelings with them. They can learn from you.n• Also talk to other family members or friends who are close to you. This is not a time to isolate yourself. It’s a time to surround yourself with people who you care about and who care about you. 2. Listen to all those people above! As important as it is for you to talk about your frustrations and fears, it’s just as important for you to listen to them. Pay attention and listen carefully and with respect to your spouse/partner, your children or grandchildren and your friends. Bottom line? Be there for each other. 3. Find something fun to do! It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Heck, it doesn’t have to cost any money!n• Go to the park.n• Go on a hike with your dog (or borrow one!)n• Pack a picnic lunch and go someplace new.n• Attend free events at the museum, the zoo etc.n• Spend a little money and go to a matinee. 4. Pay attention to what you read and what you watch on the TV and what you listen to on the radio. Make a pack with your family and friends to limit your conversations around money. No amount of conversation is going to change the situation and only create more stress in your relationships. Especially if you disagree on the how’s and why’s of how this all happened in the first place. 5. Have a positive attitude! Moaning and groaning and whining will not change a thing! Having an attitude of gratitude will go a long way. Keep in mind that if you are worried about your investments, how fortunate you are to even HAVE investments! There are many others who only wish they had enough money to be able to save and invest. Do you know what you Top 5 Signature Strengths are? If not, go to www.authentichappiness.com and spend 20 minutes taking the VIA (Values in Action) questionnaire. You will then get your Top 5 Signature Strengths. So, what now? Use them in your everyday life and help them to get you through these tough times. If Gratitude is not one of your top five, then maybe you need to start working on ways to increase it. Another suggestion is take these Top 5, write them down and put them in your wallet. Whenever you need some encouragement, take a look at them and use them! Keep in mind; this is not a forever situation. Be an optimist, lead a live of gratitude and you will thrive, along with your relationships!nnnnn

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About the Author

Kim is an ACC, CMC ICF Certified Life Coach, as well as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She has a highly diverse professional background which includes over 20 years in Private Practice.

She is a senior faculty member of Mentor Coach (www.mentorcoach.com) an ICF (International Coach Federation) accredited coach training program. Kim is a graduate of Dr. Martin Seligman’s Authentic Happiness Coaching Program, using Positive Psychology as a framework for change.

Kim’s coaching clients consist of those who wish to be proactive in their retirement planning so they make the most of these special years and decades. She also works with midlife women in transition, work/life balance, empowering positive change.

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