We’ve heard it a million times — the key to success in the dating world lies in confidence. If you’re just more confident, you will do better meeting men, attracting men and engaging in relationships with those men.

Yet even though this statement is true and confidence really does lie at the heart of dating success, most people who toss this bit of advice out there leave it at that, as if confidence is simply something you can adopt by flipping a switch in your head.

There is no confidence switch in your head. If you want to become a more confident dater, you’re going to need to put in some real work — real work that will pay off big time by improving the consistency and quality of your dating experiences.

1. Adopting confident mindsets.

The idea you can immediately improve your mindset by looking in the mirror and telling yourself, “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.” is complete BS.

Positive affirmations may provide a temporary, a very temporary, ego boost, but they’ll do nothing to improve your dating confidence in any practical way for any significant amount of time.

Affirmations and other similar nonsense tend to help you feel good while you’re sitting at home by yourself, but every nice thing you say about yourself will fall apart the second you enter a social sphere and start trying to hold on to positive beliefs in an environment that seems to deny them.

No matter how many times you tell yourself, “I attract all the high-quality men I can handle” while lying in bed by yourself, your confidence will still bottom out the second you find yourself trying to walk up to a guy you find attractive in a club.

Maintaining an optimistic outlook and focusing on your positive qualities is a good idea for your dating success, but truly unshakable confidence is grounded in more tangible proof than the ever-shifting stories you run through your head.

2. Building rock-solid confidence.

Feeling confident about yourself and your dating life lies in giving yourself undeniable reasons to feel confident about yourself.

It’s easy to feel confident about how you look when you take care of your health, maintain a fresh haircut and dress in a manner that flatters your body type and group identification.

It’s easy to feel confident about your dating life when you’ve had sex sometime in the last decade, preferably the last week or two.

It’s easy to feel confident about yourself if you like what you’re doing with your life and you’re happy with your financial circumstances.

All of this probably sounds pretty daunting, but improving your overall lifestyle is the only way to truly improve your confidence.

The good news is no matter how daunting it sounds to build real confidence, you can take advantage of a couple shortcuts to immediately boost your confidence.

  • Go on dates and have sex with guys who are “good enough.”

Chances are you can’t attract your ideal guy right now, so at least bolster your self-esteem by sharing some fun and companionship with guys you find attractive enough. It’s always easier to feel confident when you already have a guy or two in your life, even if they aren’t perfect specimens.

  • Get a better haircut and buy some new clothes.

Improving your health and building an awesome body takes time, but fixing your fashion and grooming is a way to improve your confidence by leaps and bounds in the span of an afternoon.

There are plenty of guys with swag who get laid like crazy despite not having the rest of their life in order.

  • Make more money.

Yeah, money isn’t everything, but if you’re currently sitting on the poverty line, you’ll be shocked by how much happier and more satisfied and confident you feel when you adopt a little monetary breathing room.

Building confidence is a lifelong effort, but adopting the above tangible shortcuts is a great way to immediately improve your dating life, which will then snowball to better and better men from there on out.

Author's Bio: 

Hi, I'm Cynthia Price, dating expert and writer. I tackle all dating topics, from gay and lesbian dating to first date ideas to online profiles. For more dating tips, advice, how-to's, and Q &A's, check out DatingAdvice.com.