6 Signs You are Undervaluing Yourself and What You Can Do about It

You value your loved ones, you value your friends, you value your business, but how much do you really value YOURSELF? For healers and many other heart-based service professionals, such as massage therapists, life coaches and Reiki channels, the honest answer is not very much.

Do Any of these 6 Signs Apply to You?

1. Not knowing what your real Needs are
Take a piece of paper and a pen and write down 10 of what you FEEL your main personal needs are, completely irrespective of what you or others THINK they should be. This can include mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs. Now read through that list and tick all those needs that are being met already… A bit sparse on the ticks?

2. Not being clear to others about your Needs
Using the list you created above, in a different colour, tick all your needs that other people already know about and are honoring… If there are very few ticks, then it is time to work on speaking up assertively and letting others know exactly what you need, or you will continue to suffer in silence. This leads to unnecessary miscommunication, frustration and resentment.

3. Not setting clear boundaries or allowing people to take advantage of you.
People, including your partner, children and clients, will test your boundaries repeatedly. First off, you need to be clear within yourself just what is and what is not acceptable to you. Boundaries with family include defining your private space and those tasks which you are prepared to do versus those that are the responsibility of others. Failure to maintain those boundaries allows others to be able to take advantage of you and drain your energy and possibly resources as well.

4. Faulty subconscious beliefs absorbed from your parents
Most of the beliefs and patterns that run your subconscious mind, which represents about 90% of our total mind, were set in place before age 5. It is pretty scary to realize that the majority of adults are operating with the subconscious mindset of a five year old!

Often parents have said something to us as children that may have been said in a moment of frustration, such as, “Can’t you do anything right?” or “You’ll never be as good as your brother” or “We never planned to have you in the first place.” The child absorbs these beliefs uncritically into the subconscious mind from where clusters of beliefs and supporting patterns of behaviour are set in place.

Even the most loving parents say things they don’t really mean at times and this leads to at least 85% of people having low self-esteem / self-worth in one or more areas. If this picture fits you, then you need to do inner work around healing and completing your past and replacing those outdated childhood beliefs with new, positive, powerful beliefs.

5. Not putting yourself first
Where do you rate yourself on your list of your top 10 priorities? Do you even get a mention? The vast majority of heart-based service professionals are women - probably about 80%. Women seem to be genetically and culturally hard-wired to give selflessly and put everyone else’s needs first. We are loving and compassionate and truly care for others, which are all great attributes for a healer, but we also need to get the balance right with caring for ourselves first.

Heartless and confronting as it may sound, we must put ourselves as our number 1 priority. Take the example of the emergency instructions given as the start of a plane flight, “In the event of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first before putting the oxygen mask on your child.” Similarly, we must care for ourselves first before we can be most effective caring for others. If we don’t the eventual result is energetic burnout.

Take care of your own needs first for good nutrition, regular exercise, pure water, adequate rest, guilt-free downtime and fun times in order that you may better serve others from a place of vibrant good health and energy.

Some of the signs to beware of if you are not putting yourself as your number 1 priority will be such things as saying to yourself that you will exercise if you have time to, after completing the day’s to do list; giving others the choice foods and settling for lesser quality for yourself; feeling guilty about doing something you enjoy just for you; or allowing work to be the main focus of your life.

6. Giving more than receiving
There are many reasons why heart-based service professionals commonly give more than they receive. Often it stems from an unconscious sense of low self-worth, of wanting to be liked and accepted and from that childhood programming of wanting approval. Constantly giving to others without allowing yourself to receive in equal measure takes its toll on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Eventually you are coming from a place of energetic lack and a poverty mindset that leads to exhaustion, resentment, and giving out a low vibration that repels business.

Make sure you are not giving away your power to others by giving more than you are receiving.

For healers to be working at your highest vibration and potential you must value your important contribution to society as well as yourself. If you are not in peak physical, mental and emotional condition, then the contribution you can potentially make to humanity is severely restricted.