7 Signs that Stress is Affecting Your Relationship

In the chaos that is life we often get bogged down with situations both in and mostly beyond our control. While stress can hurt us physically by making us sick, exhausted, and generally worn down, it also is a difference maker in our relationships and marriages.

In order to reach optimal marriage fitness, we have to figure out how to reduce stress in our lives. It may mean getting more physical and exerting some pent up energy through exercise, centering ourselves through yoga or meditation, or catching a comedy show and laughing to reduce stress. Find whatever that outlet may be to regain your balance, health, and strengthen your relationship. Here are some signs to look for that maybe things are getting a little intense.

1. You’re libido has tanked. You’re exhausted, burnt out, and not sleeping well. You’re not in the mood to speak to anybody let alone be intimate with your spouse. Stress causes spikes in adrenaline and cortisol, which suppress the hormones needed to get in the mood. It may be time to step back and reevaluate your schedule.
2. You’re taking your stress out on each other. Bad days happen and we all have setbacks and rough patches to deal with, but when they seem to overwhelm our lives we need an outlet to vent the steam. Unfortunately, for many that means they’re taking it out on their spouse by picking fights over little things, being overly critical, and picking on them.
3. You’ve become emotionally unavailable. Your spouse is having a bad day and needs to talk about it with you or innocent questions like, “Are you feeling okay, baby?” will either shut you down or set you off. If you find that next to nothing is making you irritable, it may be time to look to a relationship coach for help.
4. You forget how to be in tune with each other. Stress and its related hormones block our ability to read each other. Suddenly, you’re intuition goes haywire and you are seeing reactions and feelings that in your cortisol-fueled state, are just projecting on to your spouse. You forget how to express and receive love leaving you disconnected from your relationship. It’s common for couples who fall out of sync with each other to wind up in divorce court.
5. Your relationship is cracking under the strain. You keep bringing your stress home with you, which is now growing to consume your relationship. You and your spouse are at each other’s throats, blowing up over little things, and probably sleeping in separate rooms by this point. When my son was born my husband and I were so stressed and sleep deprived all we did was argue. It’s amazing how much a full night’s sleep helped to turn things around.
6. Anxiety. Everywhere you look you see signs of doom and you are worried about the sky crashing down around you. You become short tempered and wired, and maybe experience the odd panic attack. Not only does anxiety place strain on your health and strain your relationship, but also it’s contagious. It doesn’t take long for your spouse to feel the pressure as well.
7. Nothing is satisfying anymore. One of the unfortunate side effects of stress and the inevitable crash afterwards is the lack of satisfaction normally good things in your life would bring you – including your marriage. Stress will cause a person to fixate and project leading him or her to inadvertently sabotage his or her own relationship with criticism and put-downs. Satisfaction is one of the key components to successful married life(http://www.marriage.com/advice/married-life/).