What or who can push your buttons? I can think of a few. What about you?

We all seem to have this invisible switch that sometimes gets turned on when something doesn’t go our way or someone upsets us.

It’s almost as if we lose consciousness for awhile and this other person temporarily takes over.

In a way, you do slip into unconsciousness when you are angry. It’s like a momentary, and sometimes longer, lapse of reason.

You were fine, and then something/someone sets you off, and boom, you find yourself saying and acting in ways you normally wouldn’t.

Afterwards, when you have calmed down and the on switch has been turned off again, you may think to yourself, “What happened there, or why did I say or do that?”

Questioning is good. It allows you time to reflect and learn from what occurred.

Sometimes though, it can take awhile to settle down and gain your composure again.

What can you do to de-stress when your button has been pushed so you can look at what happened with understanding?

Cool off.

When you are upset, it can feel like your blood is boiling or your temperature is rising. This is when you may say and do things that really aren’t the best way of handling things.

In fact, when you are heated, it can have quite the opposite effect. You may find things escalate quickly and you, or the situation, become out of control.

Rub a cool cloth over your face and neck or take a cool shower. Doing this can often bring your anger down faster than you might imagine.

Time out.

When kids are having tantrums they are often given time outs. Well… you may need one yourself. If you can, remove yourself from the situation for a period of time to allow your anger/frustration to subside so you can think things through clearly.

Say or repeat positive words, phrases, or prayers.

When you are thinking about something other than what you are upset about, it can help because it reminds you about the choices you have. To be or not to be upset.


If you can, do something physical like yoga, or walk, bike, swim, run, etc. You can expel some of that high or pent up energy by putting it into something productive and beneficial for you.


Often when you are upset your breathing will become quick, or shallow. Take some deep, calming breaths; this helps to relax your mind and body.

Look or go outside.

Nature has this wonderful way of quieting the mind when we allow it to. Pay attention to something outside, become still and relax.

Be kind.

When you are upset, the last thing you may be thinking about is being kind. Although, this is the best time to be gentle with yourself, the situation, or the other person. When you are, it reminds you there is another way than the one you are currently choosing. Choose peace.

Gain clarity.

Once you are calmer, then and only then can you see the situation in a new light. Be clear about what you want to see or have happen. There is a big difference between being assertive and being angry.

When you have de-stressed then you can go back and smooth the waters so to speak.

You will be able to approach things differently, or may have some insights, ideas or inspiration that will be helpful in the situation, or you have learned something about yourself, the occurrence, or the other person that you didn’t see before.

When you are calm, you certainly will have a better chance of more positive results than when you are angry, and you can then approach things from a centered and more productive space.

The choice is always yours. Be angry or be calm.

Don’t worry, it isn’t about mastering this state of mind, it’s about mastery within it.

Use these techniques to assist you in seeing what triggers you and how to become centered again.

Author's Bio: 

Founder, facilitator, and personal insight coach, Expert Author Kimberley Cohen is a positive attitude and happiness master. Certified in Body-Mind Counseling, Process-Oriented Body Work, and Spiritual Psychotherapy, Kimberley assists others by helping them minimize the stress and anxiety of day-to-day living.

A pioneer in her niche, Kimberley developed the Insight Technique, which helps others minimize the stress and anxiety in their lives. Providing clarity and illumination, Kimberley drives readers to question and understand their thinking in order to transform what blocks and limits them from maximizing their overall happiness and potential in life. Visit her at http://theinsighttechnique.com