Every relationship has its problems, and if you want to solve these problems, you have to address them and put some time and effort to talk about them. When you look at the world around you, even the happiest of the couples have had some bumps down the road. However, there are some issues that feel more like giant blockages than mere issues stopping you from achieving happiness. Being loved and being in a happy relationship is one of the best things in the world. Most of us spend all our lives looking for this one little block that completes the puzzle within us. And when we are unable to find such a piece, we make the mistake of aggressively trying to solve the jigsaw puzzle by forcing a piece that doesn’t fit.

You may think that you have to achieve momentary peace and happiness by doing so. But, in the long run, you start feeling something’s out of place, and that’s when the jigsaw starts crumbling down. If you think that you have reached that point in your life where your relationship isn’t working anymore, you need to take some immediate steps to ensure your happiness. Whether you have stopped laughing together, or you have stopped having sex, there are certain signs that you can’t ignore. Here are nine signs that you are trying too hard to make a relationship work so that you stop doing it and get it over with.

You’re the Only One Making an Effort
When you marry the “love of your life,” you think that you know all about him. You think that he will stay the same no matter what, and life will be sunshine and roses. However, committing yourself to only one person for the rest of life is a very challenging thing that most of us aren’t capable of doing. A relationship only works when both partners are putting in the same amount of effort to make it work. If your marriage isn’t working out, you may note that there is a shift in balance, and you might realize that you’re the only one who is taking all the initiates. While it may be a phase that your partner might be going through, if he makes it a habit of not caring, there might be something out of order that needs your attention.

You Stop Talking About Your Problems
A relationship is built on trust, and it thrives on both partners listening to each other’s problems. When you marry someone, you get a free therapist whom you trust enough to share your problems with. It is very common for struggling partners to keep sweeping their problems under the rug. Pretending that everything is OK is a sign that things aren’t the same as before, and there is something wrong. If you are the only one who still tries to talk about your day and feel the need to communicate, you are trying too hard. Instead of letting it slide by, you should talk to him about what’s wrong and what you can do about it. It can be a very stressful feeling to know that your partner isn’t actively taking part in the marriage.

You’re Always Fighting
All couples fight. It isn’t a new thing or something to be worried about. Arguing is a very normal thing, and in fact, it is the base on which most relationships are built. However, when the only thing that you do is fight, you are living in a toxic environment, which you need to escape. Being disrespectful, critical, and personally attacking the other person should never be normalized as these kinds of things generally lead to domestic violence. If you are always putting each other down, if you are always criticizing your partner, or if you guys scream at the smallest of things, you need to make some abrupt changes to your living conditions. Instead of holding onto a lost cause, you should consult a professional like a San Diego Family Law Lawyer and think of a divorce instead of making each other’s life miserable.

There’s No Intimacy
Where I agree that with time the passion and the intensity with which you used to have sex decrease, but that doesn’t mean that you stop being intimate. Sex and intimacy are two different things, and one can’t be quantified by the other. Your honeymoon isn’t going to last forever; your partner isn’t going to surprise you like he did at the start of the relationship. However, if he is interested in you, he will still be there for you when you need him, and he will still take care of you like he did at the start of the relationship. If there is no chemistry between you or you guys no longer crave each other’s company, you need to go to a therapist and talk it out so that something can be done about it.

There No Trust
As I said before, trust is the foundation on which most relationships are formed. If you can’t trust your partner even after marriage, what are you guys even doing together? Living together is all about trusting the other guy and believing that if there is one person in the world who will be standing beside you when all goes wrong, it’s him. If you can’t come to that conclusion, your whole relationship is flawed, and you need to think it over. Trust is often broken if your partner has done something without telling you. It could be a fling or something else, which might be eating you up from the inside. Instead of rotting from the inside, you need to confront your partner to let him know what he did wrong.

You Are Thinking About Cheating
Marriage is about devoting yourself to one person for the rest of your life. Either you make that commitment, or you don’t; there is no in-between. If the thought of cheating crosses your mind, it might be a sign of something bad that needs to be addressed. Fantasizing about someone else is normal in a relationship and something that you can’t control. However, if that fantasizing starts affecting your relationship or you dream of turning your fantasies into reality, you need to think about your marriage all over. When you already know that you want someone else, your partner deserves to know that truth. You must come out clean and end the relationship once and for all instead of cheating and breaking your partner’s heart.

You Are Always Complaining
If all you do is complain about little things to your partner, you might be frustrated with him. Where you don’t have to see eye-to-eye in case of every problem, you and your partner should have developed a general way of solving your problems rather than letting them build up. You have to understand that every argument is not going to go your way, and sometimes you have to give up on it for the greater good of the relationship. If your marriage reaches a point where you start finding your partner to be repulsive, you need to rethink who you are living with and if you are happy with where your relationship is headed.

You Are Always Depressed
Similarly, if you are always feeling depressed or anxious despite being with your partner, it might be a sign that the dynamic between you two isn’t working. As you guys are married, you should be able to talk about your deepest secrets and open up your darkest demons in front of your spouse. If you feel like your partner doesn’t understand you or he will not be able to connect with you or support you, you will start feeling depressed, and the relationship will soon turn bad. Instead of avoiding your partner and hiding your feelings, you should give counseling a shot and talk about your problems with a therapist. He might be able to give you a valuable point about what is actually wrong with you and how to save your marriage.

You Have Feeling That Your Partner Isn’t Happy With You
Last but not least, if you guys are meant to be together, it won’t feel like the contract of marriage is making you do it. When you are happy in a relationship, you are never afraid that the breakup is constantly looming on the horizon, or your partner is going to run away out of nowhere. Nobody wants to go through a divorce. But having the constant feeling of divorce holding you down is not a good feeling too. Instead of always being bogged down or being scared of your partner, you should sit down with him and talk to him like adults. The best aspect of marriage is that you can share whatever’s on your mind and speak about your problems without the other person judging you. The chances are that he might be able to resolve your doubts so that you don’t have to fear anything anymore.

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Success Coach, Business Development Consultant, Strategist,Blogger, Traveller, Motivational Writer & Speaker