9 Ways to Identify the Narcissist in Your Marriage

Narcissism, contrary to popular belief, is not a negative thing. We all have narcissism engraved in our instincts, and it is a fundamental piece to achieve our goals and objectives, make ourselves respected, have good self-esteem, and adequate self-esteem.

The problem is not narcissism, but the amount we have of it, its defect, or its excess to get to have a narcissistic personality.

Narcissism is the love that the person has for themselves. This love is essential for the development of all people since it precedes love for others. First, the child is only aware of himself, so they can only "love" them, but little by little, they become aware of others, focusing their love on parents and then on other people.

However, narcissistic people are prone to miss this connection of embracing other individuals and thinking on their part. It can lead to an abundance of problems both in career and marriage, especially for partners who is married to a narcissist.

What is really meant by a narcissistic partner and how to know if you are married to one?

Let's look at some of the characteristics of narcissists and try to think if they are found in your partner:

1. A narcissist believes himself the most important person in the world:

The narcissist tends to love themselves above all things and to believe that their problems, experiences or opinions are more important than those of the rest. For this reason, many times you will notice that they do not take your interests into account, do not listen to you, or despises it when things are not going according to their way.

2. They have an abnormally high regard of themselves

The narcissist believes that they do not fit into "the earthly world," that other people are below their, that they have and deserve to surround with famous, high status, very intelligent people, etc. On many occasions, they disparage their partner's capabilities, making them look ridiculous both in private and in public, making them feel inferior, little useful or valid, etc.

3. Narcissists believe that they deserve all the attention in the world:

Such a partner believes that the other person in the marriage always has to be admiring them, telling them how special and attractive they are, etc. Even getting angry if the other does not tell them. This can be exhausting for the married partner.

4. Have very high fantasies and expectations of success and power:

The narcissist always believes that they have the right to go as high as possible. However, expectations can collide with reality. Suppose the expectations are not met to the narcissist's abilities, and he/she encounters barriers or negatives in the goals that he/she sets. In that case, he/she will become considerably angry, blaming others for their failures, insulting or belittling them, that is, projecting their complex.

5. Narcissists are exploiters

Because they think and feel that they are above others, they believe they can use them as if they were objects, to satisfy their needs, desires, or to achieve your goals, even at the expense of the other's mental health. In a matrimonial affair, a narcissistic partner can make the other believe that they "must" do what their partner says, because they are above, smarter, stronger, or more important.

6. They do not bear criticism

The narcissist will not allow the partner (or anyone) to tell them how to do things, alternative ways, or correct a mistake. They won't even take advice, because why do they need it if they already know everything? This can generate frustration, anger, and feelings of shame and guilt in the partner, who tries to give their point of view or help the narcissist and only receives rejection or bad words and gestures. Criticism makes them admit to their vulnerability and hurt their ego.

7. Empathy, the missing link

The narcissist lacks empathy. It is a language that they do not speak. Being focused on themselves, on their own desires and needs, they simply cannot put themselves in the place of the other. They do not recognize the feelings and needs of others and are unable to experience what the other person may feel in front by their attacks.

8. Envy is very present in your life

No matter how narcissistic the person is, reality can sometimes knock on your door. When the narcissist sees that their partner can achieve higher or more important goals than their own, the narcissist envies with all their might and are likely to attack contemptuously, or underestimate the achievements obtained by their partner.

 The narcissistic partner always thinks that others admire and envy them. Therefore, when things do not go as he expects (for example, they are fired from a job) they will always find an excuse to this by resorting to the envy of the other ("I am so good that they had to let go of me because my colleagues find me as a threat, so they spoke badly of me and got me fired.”)

9. Respond with defensive attitudes

Deep down, narcissists have a very damaged ego, so they must protect it and "swell" it. Fearing that they will be damaged or the bubble of superiority and perfection that they have created around their image will break, they tend to live on the defensive, being hypersensitive to the movements and comments of the other.

THE ROAD AHEAD…

It is determined that narcissistic abuse affects over 158 million people in the United States. Most partners resort to legal counsel to understand and develop a framework of legal proceedings to take in the marriage. Many sufferers are not able to branch out of the marriage due to several reasons, including being financially dependent on their partner, legal custody of children, pregnancies, or other social factors involved.

However, for many partners, seeking a divorce remains an imminent option. Partners are compelled to seek a divorce for their mental health and wellbeing. It is everyone’s constitutional right to live a happy and fulfilling life, which is we advise you to always proceed with the legal channel of proceedings in your marriage.

Consulting a solicitor who specializes in Family Court, especially strategically handling divorce with a narcissistic partner. Many attorneys today have specialized in this category and provide excellent legal counsel. In the U.S. the leading Family Court attorney remains Rebecca Zung.

Zung is professionally attributed as the Top 1% attorney, narcissistic negotiation expert, bestselling author, influencer, and podcaster. Zung’s surreal success both in and out of the courtroom has earned notable recognition. The attorney is highly consulted for her benchmark strategies in holding negotiations and winning against narcissistic individuals, be it in personal life or business.

The American attorney is well celebrated in the legal fraternity. For her legal prowess, Zung has been recognized a Best Lawyers in America by U.S. News in 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021.