Much of communication training focuses on formulas for specific words to say that may seem mechanical and feel inauthentic to the speaker or the listener. What is often missing from communication techniques is the magic of connectedness. Connection and its richer cousins, chemistry and charisma allow communication to elevate to higher levels of communion, where the right words are not as important as the intention to connect.

Connection is a two-way exchange of attention and emotional energy. In human interactions, connection happens when you give your attention to another person and you receive their attention at the same time. When you add love or acceptance to the interaction, you experience chemistry and the connection deepens to a soul to soul exchange.

One of the greatest life skills you will ever learn is to make genuine connection with others. The ability to connect with anyone, anywhere opens the doors to living life in a bigger way. All opportunities come from connection with other people. Think about it. In your personal life, connection leads to making friends, loving and being loved, enjoying the richness of intimacy. Professionally, the ability to connect leads to success in networking, client interaction, co-worker cooperation, cold calling, persuasion and sales. When you master the art of connection, life can bring all opportunities because you are open to them. I will go so far as to say that fear of connecting with others is the number one reason people are not successful as they could be.

Let’s take a little fantasy trip through your life. Imagine you have the ability to connect easily with anyone, anywhere. You have complete confidence in yourself to reach out to others, engage their eyes, ears and hearts and receive their attention, no matter who they are. Think of the people you could meet, the fun you could have, the business contacts you could develop, the things you could learn, the money you could make! What if your very presence were so open that you magnetically attracted attention, you sparkled with charisma? Think of how your life would be different!

The key that opens up the experience of communion is the act of receiving others. Many speakers and communicators think that good communication is merely saying the right words. They think they have to pump out energy in order to create excitement and hold the attention of others. They end up throwing their energy and words at listeners, so their own energy flows outwardly but none can come back in to them. Energy is only flowing one way. In actuality, charisma happens when you are receiving the attention of others. Charisma is not just generating dynamic energy, it is also receiving the flow of emotion and attention from others.

You can elevate your communication skills by learning the simple act of receiving. Receiving is effortlessly allowing yourself to take in another’s energy, without judgment or expectation. When you receive another person, he is drawn to you. You hold his attention as if by magnetic attraction and he is compelled to pay attention to you. And, because you are connecting so fully with him, you automatically know what to say in response to him. Speaking flows more easily in response to another. You don’t have to work so hard to think of what to say because you are being there for and with the listener.

The lovely thing about connection, chemistry and charisma is that anyone can learn to create these compelling qualities with others. The secret is to relax deeply into your own skin and experience “Being With” others using a soft eye contact which allows for no-resistance receptivity. With a little practice, you can expand your comfort level to “Be With” others so that you connect with anyone you choose. Imagine the quality of life you can have when you master the art of connection, allow yourself to create chemistry and become the one who has charisma!

Want to learn more? Came and experience our new course Communication Skills: Connection, Chemistry & Charisma. Read the course description below.

Author's Bio: 

Sandra Zimmer works with high achievers who are struggling with communication and who may be uncomfortable speaking in groups. She helps them transform the way they express who they are so they feel confident to share their ideas, insights and expertise. Sandra has developed the Zimmer Method for Authentic Communication. Her method guides people through an experiential process that connects them to their natural abilities to express themselves when they speak, present, perform, sell or persuade.

Sandra is the president of Sandra Zimmer & Associates, Inc and the founder of The Self-Expression Center in Houston, Texas. She holds an M.A. in Theater from The University of Houston, a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Texas and is a Certified Lessac Voice Teacher. Additionally, she has more than 30 years of experience in the field of self-awareness.

Sandra Zimmer can be contacted at The Self-Expression Center,, and 281-293-7070

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