Affirming Opportunities: The “Yes, and . . .” Principle

For years I have been involved with comedy improvisation, where performers create scenes with each other spontaneously. As demonstrated in the popular television show, “Whose Line Is It Anyway?,” the group is usually given a topic from the audience, and then they create a scene without a script. This process forces one to be spontaneous and to practice teamwork. My first comedy improvisation teacher taught me that “good improvisation is good life.”

In order for the unique process of improvisation to work, several important guidelines need to be followed. These guidelines can also help to create a more dynamic, vibrant, and collaborative life.

1.Commitment is all important. Give your all and give your best, without back doors or thinking about other agendas.
2.Listen to your partners. Respond to what they are saying, without denying what they want from you. Work to support the group, avoiding individual agendas and attempts to control outcomes.
3.When offered an opportunity, say, “Yes, and . . .” instead of an automatic, “No, but. . . .”

Although all the principles above can benefit your life, I’d like to focus on the “Yes, and . . .” aspect. All too often, we get interesting “offers” or opportunities that seem too big, too scary, and too strange. Our first instinct is to deny them, to negate them, or to stick to our own agendas or paths. The universe is constantly sending us offers that we can choose to adopt or reject. These offers often come from our souls’ inner longings. Our souls will often work together with the universe to bring to us that which we truly desire. Our egos want to reject what might really be good for us to maintain the status quo.

Here is a great example of a soul working to create a great opportunity and an ego wanting to push it away: A marketing executive in his early fifties longs to leave Corporate America. He holds a dream deep in his heart of teaching and publishing. He has already published one book and has taken on some part-time teaching at a local community college on top of his full-time marketing job. When he is unexpectedly laid off, he initially experiences fear and worry about finances.

His ego warns him that it was foolish of him to take time off and that he should be looking for a job right away. His inner critic says that he will lead his family down a path of poverty and despair. However, after gaining some perspective, he sees that it is the perfect time to begin teaching more and to work on making a living from his writing. He consults a financial planner and confirms that the severance package and unemployment he will receive will carry him through for many months if he is frugal.

The real growth and depth in life comes from saying “Yes, and . . .” to new and creative ideas, to different solutions, or to our partners, families, and friends. It’s important to look for the gift in every opportunity and to embrace it instead of misinterpreting or rejecting the offer. Especially in romantic relationships, if we accept ideas and offers, we enrich ourselves and our relationships. If we say “No, but . . . ,” we create a barrier to intimacy and the concept of teamwork. The relationship stays stuck in the individual mode, rather than becoming a dynamic partnership.

Saying “No, but . . .” cuts off the flow of relationships, ideas, and processes. Instead of doors opening, they slam shut. Our inner critics will come up with new and creative ways to convince us that the new opportunity isn’t good for us. Look beyond your ego and into your heart and soul for ways to embrace these offers that aren’t part of your picture of the way you perceive you want your life to go.

It’s especially important to say “Yes, and . . .” to compliments as they are wonderful sources of positive energy and encouragement. When we say yes to them and really take in what someone is saying, it can increase our motivation and self-esteem tremendously. Instead of denying the compliment (“Oh, no, I really don’t look good”), work on embracing those affirming messages.
By opening our minds with a “Yes, and . . .” attitude, we walk through doors to huge possibilities, to partnerships, and to expanded outcomes. The “Yes, and . . .” principle is important in harnessing the power of the universe. The more we say yes to the offers and opportunities the universe sends us, the more we will increase the flow of positive energy coming our way.

Moving Forward

Take a moment to ask yourself these questions to create more positive energy and experiences for yourself and others.

1.What offers or opportunities have you said “No, but . . .” to lately that you could have said “Yes, and . . .” to? What was/is the cost of saying no to these opportunities?
2.What offers or opportunities that you have been given recently could you say “Yes, and . . .” to? What benefits and results would you receive by saying “Yes, and . . .?”
3.This week, practice saying “Yes, and . . .” to all that is offered to you, except dangerous situations. Notice what difference this makes in your life after you do say yes. What other offers would you like to say “Yes, and . . .” to?

** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways2.html.