We compromise every day. With every moment, with every thought. Should I do this or that? Should I go here or there? If we didn't compromise, we would not consider choices, and if we didn't consider choices, then we would be less than animals, and we wouldn't survive. Making compromises reflects intelligence.

But what if we dig our heels in and never compromise? This is where many find themselves now; unwilling and deathly afraid to bend principles. This comes from fear. Compromise, on the other hand, understands human desire (wanting it our way all of the time) and the results of that frustrated desire. If our desires are very strong, if we are angry all the time, we will do extraordinary things to get what we want, thinking that this will make us happy. But it never does; the anger remains.

Are you happy? We think that if only we could get our way, or if only everyone in the world thought as we do, then we would be happy. But we never are and we never will be because our unhappiness is not solvable. We will be unhappy our entire lives as long as we think in certain patterns. Except for a few moments here and there, when were you ever truly happy? When have you not seen your accomplishments fade after a short time? Those willing to compromise understand these things, but those who don't remain confused, fearful, and angry.

Happiness depends upon something quite different from getting what we want all the time; happiness is letting go, not accumulating. Happiness is decrease, not increase. When did you learn the most about yourself - when things were going along great, or when you were down and out? Those who understand humanity and humanity's vulnerability will compromise every time, because compromise lowers expectations of our egos and takes the pressure off. In the long run, losing is winning, and winning is losing, and the result is that our anger goes away, and when our anger goes away, war goes away. In the end, compromise brings happiness all around. Opposite poles repel; it is in the middle of the field that we play the game . . . together.

If you find it impossible to compromise your opinions, find the underlying cause of those strong opinions and where your fears lie. Are your fears justified, or only your imagination? Is everyone conspiring against you, or are you psychologically imaging it all? Get to know your perceived enemies, and you will find that fundamentally they are no different from yourself. Anger is always the result of fear, an angry person is a very fearful person, and you can never be happy when you are fearful.

We might think that fighting with others makes us happy, but it doesn't, it only inflates our egos when we perceive that we have won the fight. If we don't win the fight, then we dig our heels in even deeper and eventually turn to violence. This is the seeds of war. Even when we win, which temporarily inflates our egos; the ego immediately begins deflating and requires constant propping up, which becomes the source of our anger and unhappiness again. This is why you cannot remain happy when you think in certain patterns.

People who are courageous seldom have strong opinions. They can step away from their opinions and consider other viewpoints. Desire, greed, avarice, and hatred are the characteristics of yesterday. They have fashioned our disparities and have caused wars. We think that if only everyone would believe as we do and do what we do, everything would be fine, but look in our own backyard - an atmosphere is developing where if you can't take care of yourself, good luck. If you are old, weak, or dumb, then you are a drag on the economy. We ignore street people now; look away when we see them - how soon before we look away from our elderly? Old folks are certainly a drag on our wealth with their health care problems and their non-productively. We are beginning to ignore anyone who is not young, intelligent, energetic, and connected. It's becoming a dog-eat-dog world. Is this right?

The world is none other than us; we make the world in every one of our actions. If we are fearful and angry, we create a fearful and angry world. We are responsible for our world, and to blame anyone but ourselves is hypocrisy and conceit. When we angrily proclaim that everyone must think as we do, we are acting similar to spoiled, immature, impetuous children, and a world run by children is a world on fire.

The ones who compromise are the ones whose fears and desires are not out of control. These are the ones contented with life. Look around, take a moment to see what we are doing; that's all that's required. A good look at the life we are creating for ourselves and each other. None of us are isolated. Whatever we do will come back on us ten times over, good or bad.

The hidden power of compromise is that compromise has nothing to do with power, and everything to do with unconditional love. And nothing to do with wars that kill our innocent children.

Author's Bio: 

E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-nine years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers. Visit http://www.AYearToEnlightenment.com