Could You Be Missing the Most Important Skill for Anger Management?

Anger kills. Usually it doesn't result in a homicide. It isn't even recognizable as anger.

Instead, a person suffers from one of these common forms of anger in disguise. (What you thought that all emotions come nicely labeled for your convenience?)

* Resentment
* Frustration
* Hopelessness
* Helplessness
* Boredom
* "I don't know"

It's a slippery slope, moving from anger to toxic emotions like these. Yes, I'm aware that "I don't know" covers a range of emotions. By putting this phrase on our list, I'm referring to varieties like, "Confusion based on denial of anger" or "Frustration leading to intellectual shut-down."

"I don't know" can make a person feel mysterious or deep or admirably philosophical. Yet the root cause is often no more noble than anger:

"If I can't make my wish come true -- just by wishing, and just the way I imagine it-- then I refused to stay actively engaged in life. Ask me anything. I won't know."

PROBLEMS WITH PAT

Certainly, one way to view our list of emotions is to link them to the topic of Anger Management. Let's call all of them "problems with Pat." And let's say that Pat is the hypothetical (and very troublesome) husband or wife or lover or boss at work.

Pat generates anger. Alas, Pat seems to have all the power in the relationship.

An expanded version of our list could go like this:

* Pat never lets me win, leading to resentment
* Frustration over the relationship with Pat causes me to feel frustrated with myself.
* Hopelessness happens when I blame myself over the frustration with Pat.
* Helplessness seems inevitable, as I live in long-term hopelessness.
* Euwww, I hate living with boredom. (But boredom happens every time that I figure that I lack power to change my circumstances.)
* "I don't know" what I feel. Why? A pleasant person like me isn't allowed to get angry.

HOW CAN IT HELP TO CUT CORDS OF ATTACHMENT?

Cords of Attachment are energetic links between two people. Soon as you become interested in a relationship with "Pat," for instance, you form a Cord of Attachment. This is separate from a second energetic link always formed at the same time, a spiritual tie.

Spiritual ties contain the beauty of a relationship, all the love and light and sweetness... however much or little.
Cords of Attachment contain... emotions like anger and humiliation, resentment and frustration.

Whatever emotional and spiritual patterns about the relationship have been the most troubling -- they're the patterns that flow back-and-forth within that Cord of Attachment.

Once begun, and whatever the specific pattern, a Cord of Attachment continues its energy flow every day of your life. If the pattern involves anger, then anger is stimulated by that Cord of Attachment. Unless you cut the cord, that anger will move into your aura and subconscious mind 24/7.

THE PROBLEM WITH DIVORCE

Partly what I'm describing here is mere theory about cutting Cords of Attachment. But I've earned the right to theorize, having specialized in the cord cutting field since 1986.

Just yesterday, I cut a Cord of Attachment with several "cord items" that were variations on the theme of anger. My client, "Josie" had a right to big anger. Her ex-husband of 20 years had treated her shabbily, so she felt decreasing power over the years, gradual smashing of her self-respect, and she lived with many of the variations I've listed above.

Even though the divorce had been effective years before, Josie still suffered from all the cord items. By cutting that particular Cord of Attachment, Josie was freed from a range of anger-related problems. Yes, she recognized every cord item. Yes, they still hurt, after all those years.

Divorce was wise. But divorce alone isn't the same as cutting a Cord of Attachment.

AND THE BIG PROBLEM WITH ANGER MANAGEMENT

Josie's session was a stark reminder to me of three things about Anger Management:

1. Anger Management is doomed to fail while certain Cords of Attachment are active. Someone like Josie can work hard to "control her temper" but it's only human to feel rage, having the anger-provoking cord items recirculate within her subconscious mind 24/7.
2. It's vital to use a quality method like my 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment (R). One simple session, done by a professional or done on your own, after you have learned the skill set and bam! Cutting a Cord of Attachment properly means that you will NEVER again have a Cord of Attachment to that person. Therefore, a chronic cause of anger will be gone for good.
3. Anger Management is important, sometimes life saving. Yet mere Anger Management doesn't touch the problems of stuck anger. It isn't enough to control anger, not when the everyday problems feel more like resentment, frustration, and "I don't know."

Who are the biggest victims of anger? They may not stand out like the obvious victims, the people who are bullied or emotionally abused or hit. But for sheer numbers, the ones who suffer most could be people like Josie, living with anger that has become buried so deep, it no longer feels like anger at all.

-- from Rose Rosetree, author of "Cut Cords of Attachment"
Comment at her blog, "Deeper Perception Made Practical" at www.rose-rosetree.com/blog