Following yesterday’s discussion of narcissists (posted here at Self-Growth under auras), one of our Blog-Buddies — Lisa — wrote this as part of her comment:

"Rose has recently done some spiritual healing work for me and cut a cord of attachment to someone who was also very much into her own self. Even though I knew intellectually that she was like that, I still allowed myself to get caught in the web.

"One of the amazing gifts of the cord cutting was that there is no longer an energetic charge when I think of her. I LOVE THAT! I can think of her without any attachment or much emotion at all. YEY!"

No discussion of dealing with narcissists would be complete without bringing up a term that is much less well known: cutting cords of attachment.

Cutting a cord of attachment is a form of emotional and spiritual healing that removes an energetic structure between you and the narcissist. If you care about spotting narcissists, you really owe it to yourself to learn about cutting cords. Unless you would rather complain than heal!

YOUR CORD OF ATTACHMENT TO A NARCISSIST

Let’s talk theory. But not far-out theory. Simply theory that most people haven’t considered yet.

Say that your best friend at work is a fun gal whom, eventually, you realize is a narcissist. Let’s call her ”Sally The Narcissist.” Telling the story of her relationship with you is a way to illustrate the connection between healing a relationship with a narcissist and cutting a cord of attachment.

How does a cord develop? Is there something about narcissists that attracts them? No, cords are as common as deadheads on summer flowers.

Soon after being introduced to Sally The Narcissist on your first day at work, you become interested. She’s friendly. Looks cute but not threatening to you, a woman of the same age. Sally The Narcissist exudes femininity and playfulness, and also the most wonderful effortless air of self-confidence.

Looking back, that last part is what appealed to you most. With all the growth you’ve done in your life, self-confidence still remains hard for you. Looking back, when you first met Sally The Narcissist, you hoped that some of her strong self-confidence might rub off on you. Little do you know she’s a narcissist and a psychic vampire.

Right in that moment, ta da! Two structures are installed. Faster than any program or other fancy thingie (technical term) that you have ever added to your computer, two energy structures are built and installed for keeps.

•One is a spiritual tie. This runs between Sally The Narcissist’s aura and yours. It contains all the sweet things that happen between you. Not a single precious drop of love, or even friendliness, is lost. The energy of each positive event becomes stored in that spiritual tie.

•The other energy structure is a cord of attachment. Cords are the same whether the other person is a narcissist or as truly sweet as she seems. Just as we have both sunshine and shadow on earth, for every spiritual tie, we humans are issued a cord of attachment. And would that be a really toxic connection to Sally The Narcissist? Guess!

WHY CORDS OF ATTACHMENT ARE TOXIC

What are these two structures made of? They’re energy, just like auras, the information-rich energy fields that I can teach you to read.

In everyday terms, auras contain information about your soul, the most lovely and permanent gifts that you have. However, auras also include all the information stored in your subconscious mind. (Note: Many aura readers and psychics can’t read all the way to the soul level. See links below if you would like me to teach you how to do this. You can definitely learn, if you want to.)

Cords of attachment, like auras, also operate at a subconscious level. Cords contain the most negative encounters you ever have with the cordee — the other person involved in a cord of attachment.

The energy replays 24/7, imprinting your inner self with whatever is worst about that relationship. And, with a narcissist, you know there will be plenty of worst!

When you first meet Sally The Narcissist, the cord might have a diameter smaller than a poker chip. And the energy patterning in that chip might be as simple as one quick thought where you are feeling just a bit wistful:

“She’s so confident. I wish I could be more like her. I’ve never been confident enough.”

WHAT HAPPENS IN A CORD WITH A NARCISSIST

Cords of attachment store the worst patterns of any relationship. Because Sally The Narcissist has the kind of energetic relationship to you that she does, over the years, the energies in your cord to her could become so toxic that the cord dimensions grow big as a beachball… but way less fun.

Eventually, you wake up and smell the coffee. How good a friend is Sally The Narcissist after all? What is this thing called “narcissist”?

Maybe your relationship with her gets so bad that you quit your job. Maybe it takes you half a year to arrive at that painful decision and, before that, for every work day for half a year, when you’re back home from work, you cry.

Once upon a time, I had a cord just like that, and I did cry.

Narcissists can do things like that to an otherwise healthy person. One successful, cute-seeming narcissist — can he or she ever do damage! Just one narcissist, and your cord to her or him, can bring up feelings and reactions of weakness that aren’t like the rest of your adult relationships.

And unless you take action, quitting a job won’t solve the problem. The narcissist-inspired horrors of that cord still repeat inside you, 24-7.

WHAT WILL YOU DO ABOUT IT?

People try many approaches to problems like that relationship to Sally The Narcissist. Crying is one. Complaining is another. Wishing the cordee would just go away is yet another.

Because you’re reading this article, I have a hunch that you wouldn’t be satisfied with any of these relatively passive approaches. So you may have gone for psychotherapy. For years after quitting that job, you might still work at doing all you can to resolve your feelings about Sally The Narcissist and learn from the experience.

You might pray for forgiveness and healing. Maybe you’d do Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or visualize or meditate or get loads of Reiki. Or maybe you’d be very bold and get a psychic reading for a fresh perspective on what happened between you and the narcissist.

All these approches can work wonders, but they still don’t remove cords of attachment. So you continue to have the same old junk re-imprint itself subconsciously until the very last minutes of your life. Even if Sally The Narcissist dies, her cord will live in you for the rest of your life, unless you cut it.

Why can’t the previously mentioned methods heal cords? Because cords are physical structures, made out of their psychic-level energy. Just as a psychic vampire doesn’t stop being a psychic vampire because you don’t like it, cords of attachment require more than your disapproval to solve the problem. Cords of attachment need removal, not just disapproval.

Say that you once parked your car under a tree loaded with birds, and all of them decided to take a dump on your car. You could do prayer and therapy and etc. for years, and it could make you feel better every time. But to remove the mess from your car would require a structural change. As in wash ‘n wax.

Prayer is powerful, but sometimes a person must also physically wipe that poop away.

Unfortunately, many therapists help their patients to cope, and deal with, and work on. This amounts to repackaging the STUFF from a cord. Why not just eliminate it?

CUTTING A NARCISSIST CORD

Because I’ve been working in this field of emotional and spiritual healing for more than 20 years, I have cut many cords to narcissists. As Lisa noted in her comment, it takes just under an hour. Usually these are phone sessions, but sometimes people prefer to come in person.

Either way, I use the 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment(R), the same steps that are in my book by that name. Cords to a narcissist, no matter how vile, are easy to cut. Any cord is easy to cut, when you have skill.

Despite fears and, even, flashbacks, cords of attachment are easy to cut, and do it permanently. As part of the process, you receive validation. Right after the cord of attachment is cut, I capture the information and write it down and read it to you in order to help you understand that you weren’t “just making up” this set of energies and feelings.

Your side of the story is real. If you have tangled with a narcissist, the pain and fear and other emotions are real.
Often a narcissist will be well liked by others. If you tell your tale of woe, you won’t be believed.

But that cord of attachment has its tale to tell. And the best time to hear it is AFTER the thing has been cut and permanently removed from your body.

You can be freed of these toxic energies for good. You might even laugh.

Recently I did a phone session to help “Margaret,” a divorced woman who wanted to finally be freed from the cord to her ex. Immediately after cutting this cord, and helping Margaret’s aura to rebalance, I read her the dialogue box. That included this cord item from her former husband:

“I didn’t do anything.” (This from Mr. Passive-Aggressive.)

Hearing this, Margaret laughed long and hard. It’s what I call “cord humor.” She had told me nothing about her ex-husband except his first name.

That was enough.

After years of being haunted by this relationship, Margaret finally found freedom. And, if a narcissist like Sally from your past still clings to your mind and aura, know that the answer to finding your freedom could also involve one short hour of your time and cutting that cord of attachment.

Author's Bio: 

Rose Rosetree is the founder of Energy Spirituality, offering aura readings that include Cutting Cords of Attachment , Aura Transformation, and Regression Therapy .

If you're interested in reading faces, check out her Face Readings, another form of spiritual reading.

She's an Expert on Aura here at self-growth.com.

Prefer to study directly? Rose teaches workshops internationally on doing intuitive reading. (Most client sessions are via telephone, with details at her website.

Rosetree is also known for her how-to books:

* “Read People Deeper: Body Language + Face Reading + Auras” , the first book to combine all three different forms of deeper perception,

* “AURA Reading Through All Your Senses” , to help you get skills at reading energy fields.

*"Cut CORDS of Attachment: Heal Yourself and Others with Energy Spirituality" , a healing how-to,

*"Empowered by EMPATHY”with leading-edge techniques that Rose teaches internationally,

*“The Power of FACE Reading”, and

*“ Let Today Be a HOLIDAY.”

One title has become a bestseller in Germany; in America, two have been selections of One Spirit Book Club. If you want to learn to do spiritual reading and also empower yourself in everyday life, you're going to enjoy Rose's work.

Many foreign editions of her books have been published, with information available here

With over 140,000 copies sold, Rosetree's books help readers to discover emotional and spiritual healing, better relationships, self-awareness and inspiration. Order Rose's books, published through Women's Intuition Worldwide, or call toll-free 800-345-6665.

At Rose Rosetree's website, you’ll also find free articles, FAQs, and practical ways to use Deeper Perception to make life better. Sign up for "Read Life Deeper," her free monthly zine with face and aura readings of people in the news, at www.rose-rosetree.com. Rosetree's blog is called "Deeper Perception Made Practical." You are invited to join this lively, interactive community.

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