Have you ever wanted to walk into a store and ask that question? I know there were days when I felt I might as well acquiesce and place a crown on the top of my husband’s head. It was so frustrating. I had married expecting a partnership, not to become his subject.

I wasn’t knowledgeable about narcissism at that time I got married. I started reading about it later on. Are you surprised?

I know I’m not the only woman who discovered she was married to a man who would be King. So, what do you do about it?

Why Your Narcissist Would Probably like to Wear a Crown

He probably really would be happy if you came home one day and placed that crown on his head. I’m not kidding. You might be insulted if the roles were reversed, or if he did that to you. After all, you’d likely feel ashamed. It would be a sign that you had been trying to dominate; you were not acting in the spirit of your marital partnership.

But don’t expect him to have the same reaction. He would be pleased as punch that you finally acknowledged his superiority and right to rule. Do you suppose for a few minutes he might even see you as a bright woman?

Of course, it really doesn’t matter if you ever find that crown and slip it on his head. It might be a nice gesture, but he has already crowned himself. And he probably will continue to rule as King whether you like it or not.

If you don’t like something, there is always that door to walk through. I suspect he might shout something like, “Don’t let it hit you in the butt,” as you leave.

Sorry, but with the narcissist, it tends to be their way or the highway. Oh, now and then it might appear you’re getting your way because your husband, despite his unhealthy level of narcissism, might be indifferent to a particular issue. Then again, perhaps he didn’t hear you proclaim, for example, that you intended to spend the next month in Europe with your girlfriend—so he could see how he liked to keep the home fires burning for awhile.

Do you suppose he didn’t hear you because he was too busy scheming how he was going to do in his number one business competitor?

You might want to make sure the taxi picks you up for the airport after he has already left for his place of business, however. Otherwise, he might question where you are going, scream that he sure as heck never gave you permission to take that trip, and send you to the bedroom unpacking immediately.

Now, I realize some of you reading this article might think that your spouse would of course know that you are taking this trip. You would have asked him to give you a ride to the airport, after all. Furthermore, he would have replied, “Sure, honey, I’d be happy to do that.”

Trust me, you just told the rest of us who have lived with a narcissist that you aren’t living with someone with unhealthy levels of narcissism. After all, if you were, you would have learned—after the first time you asked him if he’d be so kind as to take you to the airport—never to do such a thing again. No, you would have a complete understanding of the value of his time.

Why You Might Want Your Narcissist to Wear a Crown

Perhaps having him wear a crown all the time wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Not only would it appeal to his ego, but it could have positive consequences for you, too. Indeed, it might remind you how the narcissist sees himself and that things aren’t likely to change, either.

Yes, you are living with a man who not only would be King, but he will control you and the children as if he already is. No, he might not have you beheaded as Henry VIII sometimes did when he was displeased with a wife. But sometimes you might start wishing you’d die—or preferably, that he would. You sometimes might even secretly fantasize that he might meet his demise by being hit with one of those big trucks, the kind your parents always warned might hit you any day now if you weren’t more careful.

But I digress some from the value of having him wear that crown. Let me get back to that. Yes, a crown might be good because while he would see it as proclaiming his superiority, thus feeding his insatiable ego and his grandiosity that drives you crazy, it might remind you of something you might need to remind yourself of from time to time.

Let me put it to you this way: If you don’t like to be ruled by this King, you might have to find yourself a new kingdom. Preferably one that you rule. Remember, a man suffering from narcissism probably isn’t going to change. Now, of course, he just might surprise you. But I wouldn’t count on him removing that crown atop his head anytime soon—even if it only sits there in his mind.

Well, especially if it sits there atop his head in his own mind.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Diane England has degrees in clinical social work, family studies, and child development. She writes in the areas of his narcissism, addictions, and abuse and her codependency plus recovery through personal development and spirituality/spiritual growth. For more articles on these topics and others, visit her website at: www.NarcissismAddictionsAbuse.com.