Food and Fear--Who's Whispering in Your Ear

Recently I took a California pal to my favorite Ramen place in the East Village. OMG! I couldn’t wait to eat. Floating in the amazing, slow cooked broth were the most perfect thin noodles, sea greens, slices of tender pork—and one half egg—the white cooked firm, the yellow somehow still soft and creamy. My friend squinted at the menu, squirmed in her chair while all around us hungry patrons happily slurped. When the waitress arrived, smiling, my friend cleared her throat: “Are the eggs organic? Can I get the soup without noodles or pork, just with vegetables?”n nI looked at her, eyebrow raised.n n“What? I’m being good today.”n nOf course I could imagine the food-editing conversation that had just taken place in my friend’s head: You can’t have noodles— carbs are BAD, they’ll make you fat! Never eat anything that isn’t organic, pesticides are deadly! We all, without thinking, download fear and worry so regularly that the outside voices of gloomy experts, studies and rules become our inside voices and repeat without our awareness 24/7. This loud, bossy “fear mind” can block our spontaneity, pleasure and joy and keep us disconnected from our true selves. How can we move beyond food rules and fears and eat what we truly desire?n n6 Steps to Fearless Eating:n n1. Live in the present moment: Instead of planning, plotting, counting and measuring, every time you are moderately hungry, EAT EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT until just comfortably satisfied (before full).n n2. Take Ownership of your Eating- Forget about the “experts.” You are the Master of Your Domain. Think about it, do you really need someone who lives outside of your body dictating what you should eat, when you should eat or how much?n n3. Bipartisan Eating—Foods are not bad or good and neither are you for wanting them. Consult your gut and the rest of your brilliant body to create an eating style that reflects your wisdom, personal truth and insights—not external food rules or fears.n n4. No worries. Okay—I know the worry…what if I allow myself the foods I really want and I just eat and eat until I …explode? Good news: without a food cop screaming NONONO, your urge to rebel, over eat, get it while you can—will diminish and eventually go away. Fearless eating is not about over-eating but about consciously choosing and WILL NOT MAKE YOU FAT BUT FREE!n n5. Separate Fear from Fact. When your fearful mind bullies you with can’t, shouldn’t, have to, What if or OMG, stay calm. These thoughts and feelings are NOT FACTS no matter how loud or persistent they may be. Reacting to fear mind will not make you slim or safe. Practice letting your mind yap without becoming involved in the message or story and allowing feelings/sensations to just be without reacting to or trying to fix them.n n6. Give yourself a break. Overeating is not a crime and does not make you a bad person. Direct Loving Kindness toward yourself. Do not punish yourself for what you ate an hour ago or even last night. Forgiveness/Acceptance/Isn’t that interesting/ works so much better. See the humor in all situations and respect where you are right now. And if you choose…eat noodles!n nP.S. my California friend wound up really liking MY soup. I had to order another bowl.