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Emotional Sprinkler System

Written by Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach

Topic: HappinessPublished January 9, 2006
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One evening last summer, as the temperatures soared in Arizona, I noticed that my plants were suffering. Wilted, laying over in frustration, drained from a day of work in the hot sun they were very unhappy and stressed plants.

Of course I went out immediately, gave them a cool shower, and then added some fertilizer to the roots. The next morning they were bright and shiny, reaching again towards the sun full of energy and bloom, ready for a day’s work.

But by the end of the day, it had happened again.

Does this sound like your life? Over and over you fill up, but over and over you lose what you need to keep going.

Back to my plants -- what if I was busy and neglected to water? These plants are important to me – what did I need to do to make sure they got the attention they need without being dependent on my schedule or my memory power?

If you don’t nourish your mind, spirit, and body you too will run down until you are completely wilted and unhappy like the plants.

With attention, you’ll recover although there is a limit of neglect that both plants and humans can withstand. Wouldn’t it be a much better idea to install a system that feeds and nourishes on a regular, automatic basis?

Just as an automatic sprinkler system waters the plants, an emotional automatic sprinkler system set up in your life is designed so that you don’t need to worry about it working. It feeds your heart, mind, and spirit automatically.

What are your needs that are not being met consistently and are causing you to be drained at the end of the day? Do you have an emotional need to be appreciated, heard, protected, cared for, acknowledged? Do you yearn for approval, acceptance, admiration? (The coaching NeedsLess Program is very effective in helping to identify these needs.)

A good way to set up an emotional sprinkler system is to create an environment that supports the need. For example, I have a high need to be protected. Even though I live in a very safe neighborhood, I still have security lights, extra locks on the doors, a dog, etc. These things work for me all the time. I don’t have to feel a daily drain about my need for safety. It doesn’t require that I spend time worrying about it. My thoughts, my energy, my emotions are freed up for something else.

The key to this system is that it’s automatic. It operates without you having to reinvent it, or manufacture it every time you need it. It’s just there, and it works. If you look at my garden, you don’t see the sprinkler system; you only see the results of it.

When you see people who seem to live easy and effortless emotional lives, it’s not that they don’t have needs or wants. It’s just that they’ve learned how to get them met and the needs are essentially being met transparently.

Begin setting up your sprinkler system today. Identify one small thing that’s dragging your emotional energy down, and set up a system so that it’s automatically supplied to you. What emotional need do you have that’s not being met? What’s the best and easiest way to reduce this need? Make a phone call, have a conversation, or enlist some help, and take a step towards getting that need met today! Then get to work on another one.

Article author

About the Author

Kathy Gates is a Professional Life Coach in Scottsdale AZ where she helps people create a happier, healthier, easier life. Check out “Crash Course To Happiness” Coaching Program, and sign up for the newsletter at http://www.reallifecoach.com.

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