Give Yourself Permission to Become a Success

You are huge. You are enormous. You are magnificent!

I’m not talking about your girth; I’m talking about your talent. I’m talking about your passion and depth of feeling. I’m talking about your potential to be an amazing speaker, communicator or leader.

Have you given yourself permission to be as large, as powerful and as passionate as you really are? Are you afraid if you really show up with all of who you are, you’ll be rejected?

The one comment that I hear over and over again from the students in my corporate presentation skills and storytelling trainings is that I gave them “permission to be themselves.” By working with them on their stories and on their personal power and presence, I help them to get comfortable being their authentic self when giving a presentation.

Not only do I help them get comfortable with it, I show them how powerful it is to be authentic and real. But more importantly, I help them realize why being themselves is their only real chance at long-term success and professional advancement.

Your authentic self is the one who has something important to say, but who often hides behind a facade of appropriateness for fear of being judged. I get it. I know what it feels like. I was afraid of being myself, too.

At the beginning of my career, I probably gave 50 speeches afraid to be myself. I hid in plain sight. I danced around and did a fine job of being enthusiastic and positive and uplifting, but I was afraid to speak the truth and say what I really wanted to say. It was exhausting.

I can remember many speeches where I couldn’t wait for the last audience member to leave the auditorium so I could lay flat on my back on the floor because I’d thrown my back out during my speech. I was trying so hard to be what I thought they wanted me to be, that I literally hurt myself.

Then one day, in front of an audience in Denver or Chicago or Atlanta, I stopped hiding. I couldn’t do it any more. The desire to be honest and real was more important than jumping around and being funny all the time.

When I was no longer afraid, I found that what I had to say changed ever so slightly. Much of what I was saying and doing before was still relevant. But the texture of my presentations changed. I was free to say things, from a deeper place of understanding and wisdom, than I had the courage to say before. I gave myself permission.

I’m often stunned to discover, in working with a high-powered executive, how afraid they are of their authentic power. While their title clearly gives them permission to speak from their hearts and tell it like it is, the persona they take on as a speaker is tentative and scared. This manifests in boring speeches filled with facts, data and pie charts.

Did you know that when you hide your power behind PowerPoint, everyone can see you hiding?

I don’t know where or when we were told that being who we are is in some way inappropriate or inadequate, but it’s a lie. Audiences don’t want artifice. They want truth and honesty.

Here is a question for you? Is there any difference between the way you joke around and play in your kitchen with close friends than the way you are with your audience? Do you lose your sense of spontaneity when you step in front of your audience? Do you lose your “funny” and become more stiff and serious?

If you do, as I have found myself doing on occasion, I would ask you to begin the process of bringing your authentic self and your speaker persona closer together. Let your audience see you as you are. Join me in my quest to show up in front of my audiences completely real, vulnerable and powerful as all get out. Content delivery will not suffer. As a matter of fact, your content will be received at a deeper level of understanding because your authentic self and your speaker persona will be congruent.

Give yourself permission to be yourself. Give yourself permission to say what you have been unwilling to say. Give yourself permission to share your most profound stories and know that they are the truth of who you are.

After I gave myself permission to be all of who I am, my business quadrupled. And people started flying to my studio from all over the world to study with me. And the same thing will happen to you when you stand in your power.

One note of advice: if the people who surround you refuse to reward you for your talents and gifts, you need to move on and find people who will.

No one ever went to their grave wishing they’d played it safe. For all we know, this party could be over tomorrow. Do it now. Be huge. Be enormous. Be magnificent.

Give yourself permission to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.