Not-so-random acts of kindness for the 21st Century

Remember those bumper stickers, "Random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beautify?" People would do things like pay tolls for the car behind them. Well, that was nice, but in the new millennium here's what's really kind.

1. Find a broken link on a site? Get an "invalid address" response to your email? Tell the webmaster. I'm convinced the Link Gremlins visit my site while I'm sleeping and destroy a few links just for fun.

2. Use "bcc" when you send a message to unrelated strangers, even if they're united by membership in your subscription list. . Gently remind others who forget.

3. Scoop for your dog. If everybody did, we'd be welcome in more places.

4. Deny the joys of parenthood to family members with fur and whiskers. You say, "I wouldn't want that done to me." Well, you also wouldn't want to snooze on a sunny windowsill or be walked on a leash three times a day.

5. Love thy neighbor in silence.. Turn the music down before 3 AM. Avoid leaning on the horn to announce your arrival at six o'clock on Sunday morning.

6. Don't ask strangers about their parents, siblings, children and spouses. Their relatives may be dead, disappeared and/or locked up. Get to know them first.

7. Don't ask strangers about their religious beliefs. Especially: On a crowded airplane if you're in the next seat. On their doorsteps at eight o'clock on Saturday morning. On a job interview.

8. If you're going to call someone at 5 AM, dial the number carefully. VERY carefully.

9. Create a one-step process for subscribers who want to remove themselves from your mailing list. One e-list requires entering a long-forgotten password that leads to an incomprehensible website. The webmaster says, "The other ten thousand subscribers are doing fine." I suspect 9,999 of them can't be bothered to leave.

10. Ask your cable company, TV station and favorite newspaper for more responsible programming. More women's sports, especially basketball. Fewer pseudo-boot camps.