Healing Anger

There is a new study by Dr. Redford Williams at Duke University and Dr. Robert Sapolsky at Stanford University demonstrating that anger, rage and hostility have a very damaging effect on the cardiovascular system. There is so much evidence that hostility is harmful that it is considered a major risk factor for disease. In fact hostility equals and might even be a greater risk factor than the ones we normally think of, such as, high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

There is a transformation that happens when you get angry. Your forehead wrinkles, your face gets red, your body stiffens up, and your blood pressure goes up. All of this not only looks ugly but it puts stress on your mind and body.

We know anger is harmful, but how do we overcome it? First of all, acknowledge your anger. You can’t do anything about anger until you finally say to yourself, “I’m angry.” And the more you deny being angry, the longer you are going to be angry and the more damage it will do.

Secondly, voice your anger, not to anyone personally, but if you have someone that is willing to listen to you, go for it. Most people don’t want to be bothered, so let it out anyway in the privacy of your own room.

Also make sure you physically get the anger out of your system: yell, scream, hit a punching bag; roll on the floor, run, scream in the car at night; roll up a towel and twist it while biting the towel and screaming. Buy some old dishes at the second hand store and break them; throw some rocks at the fence; do exercises like karate, anything that helps release your anger… and most of all don’t hurt anyone else. I have friend that loves to throw rocks at his back fence when he gets angry. I have another friend who takes a box of face tissues and pulls out one sheet making it into a ball and throws it across the room as hard as he can.

Martial Arts are great for letting out angry! You get to yell and scream and all in the name of learning a new sport. People in Western Society have a hard time letting out anger. Eastern Societies have used martial arts to channel the energy of anger into making life better with discipline.

Letting out anger has to be done over and over again for months…it will take a long time to get over something that you have been holding in for years, so don’t expect it to go away in one day. It’s normal to feel drained and relaxed after letting out anger. It’s a good feeling. All that anger has been an underlying stress on your body and now you’re finally feeling your body without that stress.

Next, cultivate a mindset that extinguishes destructive anger before it starts. You need to hype yourself up and encourage yourself, by telling yourself you can do this…that you can see the seeds of anger at the beginning stages of in your mind and bypass the normal progression.

This is not a win-lose situation and many people with anger see life as a win-lose proposition. You have to start seeing life as a process, a peaceful process that you are a part of. You have a choice, you can propagate anger or you can fill your mind with peaceful thoughts. You have to grab each seed of anger and extinguish it with loving kindness.

If you are discontent with a situation, find a solution. If there is no solution to the situation, then anger will not solve the problem. Look at the reality of the situation and at solutions instead of giving into anger. You are the one who benefits from this process by not giving into anger. Stop, and cultivate peaceful thoughts and live a long, happy healthy life.