How Stepchildren Are Like Concrete Slabs

Imagine that you came home from work one day and discovered your spouse had poured a 20x30 concrete slab in the front yard. One corner of this slab sticks into the driveway; another corner took out a few hostas. And it’s a quadrilateral, not a regular rectangle. It’s 11 cubic yards of stone, permanent.

You love your spouse. He loves his concrete slab—more than his motorcycle, more than his Xbox, more than anything in the world. This concrete slab that suddenly appeared in the yard is here to stay, my friend, and to make your spouse happy you will learn to drive around it and plant the flowers someplace else.

Your stepkids are like this concrete slab—in more ways than one. They suddenly appeared in your life, fully formed, permanent and immovable. Where they landed is where they’ll stay, by golly. You will learn to adapt. And sometimes their attitudes are as hard as stone, too.

You’ve got some choices about how to “adapt” to this new, permanent concrete slab (your stepkid). You could feel angry about the inconvenience and swear a blue streak every time you stub your toe on it. You could get the sledgehammer and an aerobic workout trying to change its shape or move it someplace else. You could decide to ignore it, knowing in a few years it will grow up and move away.

So, you’ve got this concrete slab in the front yard. It’s not going anywhere, and you can’t change it. The only thing left to do is build a house on it, as nice a house as possible, so everyone can enjoy its presence in your yard. You might not be in charge of the “footprint” of this house, but you can put your positive mark on it.

Your stepkids are part of your life, and working hard on your relationship with them has a huge constructive impact on your relationship with your spouse. Plus it’s just not nice to hit the kids with sledgehammers, no matter how much you might want to. Build a house around them—safe, comfortable, and warm. Instead of feeling angry and inconvenienced, let them be what they are, and help them be as beautiful as possible for the whole time they spend with you.

You’re not cursed with ugly, immovable concrete slabs when it comes to your stepkids. You’re blessed with a foundation to build on. Enjoy building them a safe and comfortable home, using their own shape as the starting point. And remember: it’s their house, but you get to decorate a little.

Author's Bio: 

Evelyn Fielding is the happy and successful stepmom to her husband's three awesome daughters. The whole family sat down and wrote the eBook "99 Things To Do With Your Stepkids (when they don't live with you)" to share their thoughts with the world. Your stepfamily can be happier, too, just by trying out some of these easy activities together. Visit to purchase this excellent book.