I'm Happy, What's Up With You

This is quite long, but I think there may be some Aha's in there

Here goes!!

It is really funny when you think that someone has everything under control, and then you hear various comments from their family that obviously indicate that things are far from OK.

We all look at other peoples lives and assume an awful lot about whether they are happy, or whether they have things under control. We look at the outside appearances and imagine how we would be if we had the same environment.

I amongst others have written and commented at length about whether money and assets make you happy, and it is always the same statement, we know unhappy rich people and likewise happy poor people.

It was with great interest yesterday that I encountered a really different scenario about wealth aquisition and how it affects the whole family.

I was at a gathering with some dear friends to have a BBQ and see their son who was over from the UK. The setting was wonderful, the pool area had just been totally made over in a sort of French Provincial style to match the main house that is a beautiful replica of the same style. Other friends and relatives were there and it was all in all a magical setting.

If you had a snapshot of this scene and realised that this family had ample money coming in, you would be forgiven for thinking that it was the perfect life.

Why then did we see the father not relate to his teenage daughter, the wife indicate that she had had enough and was considering leaving?

Later in the evening the father was talking to me and started the conversation with “I am confused” He went on to say that he was happy, but the people around him seemed to all be out of step with what he was doing.

As we carried on talking, he filled me in on what he was doing. He had resigned from a company and started one of his own, that was going very well. He was building an investment home, as in ‘building’ an investment home. He had just purchased new premises from where he was going to run his business, and they needed fitting out. He was having major building works done to the house, that he was supervising, and at the same time he was running his business and doing the paperwork etc. What has this man run out of? Yes, time, the thing that we should all value above everything else.

In most cases such as this, the man has a master plan, that he has formulated with no consultation with anyone else. He convinces himself that the time and effort he is putting into making these plans come true, are for the benefit of his family. He knows that once he has created enough money to put the plan into action, he will be able to make up the time he has lost with his family. How wrong can he be, that time and the lack of attention he has given to his family life are gone forever. It also creates a problem that the people you have ignored, with the very best of intention, will change without you being aware.

Scenario, you arrive at a place you do not really know, with a family you have alienated. At this point no amount of money or time is going to rectify this situation.
The main battle cry from this man was that he was doing all this for his family.
One interesting clue came out of our chat, during the conversation, he said that he had something to prove to the company that he had left. It would appear that a good part of his motivation was in some way to show these people what he could do on his own. When you stand back and appraise the situation, it appears that this guy is neglecting his family to create a successful business and accumulate assets to impress people that he does not actually like.

During our talk I said that far from showing them how clever you are, you run the risk of giving them some news that they would love to hear, and that is that your family have left you because you have ignored them through this time.

I am in no way decrying hard work utilised in an effort to create a better life, but you must always be aware of the effect that it has on your relationship, as I said earlier, who wants to arrive at this unknown destination alone?

One other interesting point was that this guy said that he had never been happier, and he could not understand why his family were not the same. I explained that him devoting every spare minute doing one or other of these activities was in fact making his family feel unwanted, and possibly they were not prepared to wait until he reached his goal, to have him back. It would be no different to someone having a hobby that they enjoyed, and them spending every spare minute on that hobby to the exclusion of everything else, they would be very happy, but their family would be somewhat upset.

There is only NOW and if we sacrifice now for something that we are striving for in the future, we may actually lose everything.

Treasure NOW and use it as your vehicle to the future, if you keep things in order as you go along, there is no chance of arriving with things in disarray.

Make sure that you consider people close to you on your journey, you cannot put them down and then hope to pick them up later with no damage.

Abundance to All

Croz from OZ