At times we feel maybe justified in violating a part of our own integrity. We don’t measure the effect that by doing so, the amount of damage that it does to others as well as to our own soul.

We speak of justice; we speak of honesty and doing the right things in life. We are sometimes confronted not so much by the violation of these principles but by the impact they have on our own spirit.

Feeling betrayed by those you trust, who have in some way acted in a manner that you may never understand, will have an impact on your life. This may only be for a moment or maybe a lifetime; each person has their own emotional point of tolerance to transgressions that may have been committed by even the most trusted among you.

These words are what make’s us civilized. They are the fundamentals of our own character. We can not be responsible for someone else’s behavior but we are in total control of our own. Our behavior in any setting should be guided by these words.

We can forgive others, but it is not easy for us to forgive ourselves when it is our actions that bring forth circumstances that no one wants. I have felt recently that betrayal, that dishonest act that just hurts and saddens the soul. Of course, that does not make that person bad or evil. It is an act that does not help for the survival of a group.

I believe in the biblical statement that vengeance is the Lord’s it is not mine to give. When dealing with anyone in any capacity honesty is the guide. Integrity is the path to take. Honor is yours to own. Weep as you may for an infraction of another upon you; forgive as that transgression will also corrupt your soul to a deeper distrust of all.

For the transgressor it will be easy to do that which they may feel is right, though the action violates all honor or self respect which creates havoc and chaos on others. Maybe to be honest will allow one to sleep at night. My heart pains, for those who have chosen the path of least resistance, which is the path to destruction.

Integrity doesn’t mean that you become some cold, stoic person, and vacant of all emotion. Integrity just means to flow with your honest feelings and actions ensuring that they are in alignment with propriety. If you don’t like what you are doing then honor yourself by doing the best job anyway. You can always change careers.

This country was founded on freedom. Yet this declaration came with the stipulation that we will also live our lives with integrity, honesty and respect for others, their relationships, beliefs and property. These are not just words on a piece of parchment; they are our way of life.

I would love to believe that all people worked with integrity, honesty and forethought. That I am afraid is not always the case. What better fundamentals to teach all our children, that these words are the foundation of what forms their character.

In personal development we are always reminded to tell ourselves the truth about any situation. Sometimes that truth is corrupted by selfish and misplaced loyalties. There are people among us for one reason or another do not seem to share these values. Be they merchants of chaos, they do not honor themselves with corruptive acts. It is important to note that no one is really a victim of their acts, more so than the transgressors themselves.

Let us not deny that certain people among us have problems in judgment and values. That has been the case since the dawn of man. It is said let other people lead small lives but not you. The choice is always in front of us, to do what is right or to do otherwise. I find that in most cases, if one feels that they must violate their integrity, what they really need to do is to examine their thinking which has brought them into such a dark place.

Someday we will have the answers as to how to correct such behaviors or errors in judgment. We do have some answers now with modern science but we don’t have them all. In all the different text that I have read be it ancient or modern, two words are emphasized in my own mind. The words are behold and beware. Behold are those things that are right and beware of those things that are wrong.

Should there be any purpose for our lives then let it be that we are here to serve others. It must be understood that we need each other. Not just for business, we need each other to know that we belong to something very unique. We are a community, a society and a culture that works together for never ending growth and progress into the future.

Our integrity, honor and honesty is part of who we are as individuals. While we should be teaching our children to raise their standards, we should also be showing our love and our support in everyone’s honest endeavors. When one violates or undermines people in a workplace or family it hurts everyone involved.

If one is confronted to surrender their values for personal gain, then they must seek some council as to why they have found themselves at such a crossroad. It is a sad place to be, but there are those that can always help if you seek them out. It is not your place to judge others, but it is your place to help them.

I remember one little proverb that I learned in elementary school. To be honest I never gave it much thought, nor would it be influential until late in my 20s. The poem recited this way, “Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.”

To develop more honor, honesty and integrity you must be truthful and align yourself with what is right. It is easier to obey the laws of the land, those of your faith and of your group and community, for they are put in place for your protection and well being.

If our society is to grow and expand, then these words must have meaning and must be followed by every individual who is protected under our laws and rules of order. You see when one goes outside these general guidelines they inadvertently hurt themselves and others along the way.

Our trust is violated by dishonesty. Dishonesty is brought about by a lack of integrity. Our self respect is lowered to the degree that we lower our standards or code of conduct. You see honesty allows solutions to take place, dishonesty corrupts that facts and create a certain vagueness or cloudiness to handle the situation with standard policies, programs or actions. It doesn’t matter whether the venue is in the workplace or group activities. Clarity is what makes things work. When we are clear about a situation then we can respond with definite purposeful acts that allows all to win in life.

Maybe I will not show my dismay publicly when I am betrayed or feeling that way. My soul weeps for the person who has violated my sacred trust; I will pray for them to be returned to the rightful path. My soul is burdened by such a violation, but I forgive that person. A transgressor will always reap what they sow, the harvest was determined by their act and so it shall pass that if they are destined to suffer the consequence, let it be so.

If one should fear to appear ignorant by being honest, then it is better to be honestly ignorant than deceptively ignorant. How I look is exactly how I am. One can at least look forward to positive correction and learn some new skill or manner of doing something, than being a deceiver that only brings further chaos into a situation.

Honesty is the best policy, for your relationships, for your family and for your work and community. That also does not mean you are a yes person or someone who has no voice. An honest or even spirited debate on issues is better than taking a dark road.

Maybe the path that has led me to giving you these words is a test of my own integrity. One should trust there own perception, but leave room if that perception is not correct. Most people would be in agreement that laying your cards honestly out on the table is better than concealing bad deeds to make oneself right or to deceive the other party into a false sense of security.

Honesty, integrity and honor are not just words. These words are the foundations in which to live the good life, take heed and examine your acts in accordance to these words and that is my message to you.

Author's Bio: 

John Tebar Certified Life Coach, Author and Entrepreneur sign up for Ezine and future events at