Law of Attraction: When Your New Partner Isn’t Quite So Ideal

I love nothing more than getting together with a bunch of my girlfriends to catch up on each others’ busy lives. While we all use the Law of Attraction and success principles in what we do, we couldn’t be more different. That’s what makes the conversation so interesting – all those different careers, stages in our lives and relationships. And plenty of food for thought.

One of the girlfriends, who have been divorced for a few years, had recently started dating again. She told us about the new man in her life and how she would really like to be in a committed relationship again. While she had high hopes for the relationship, there was a niggle in her voice as she said: "No big red flags yet, although he does drive me a little crazy”.

As I listened to her, I recognized this as a situation I often hear from my Law of Attraction clients, all of whom are women.
She said, "He is such a joy to be around. He has done really well for himself in his business and his life. But…

I have never met a man more unorganized! He is always losing things, forgetting appointments, or often late if he does show up at all. His house and office are a disaster. He has papers, documents, books and newspapers all piled high, and the rest of it looks like a hurricane hit the place… clothes everywhere. On the floor, the couch, the counters – just not in the drawers. It drives me crazy!"

Why did this bother her so much? What was really “driving her crazy"? This man was coming across to her as helpless, out of control and with little or no power.
No matter how much money he might be making, in her eyes he was helpless, needy and unable to function in his surroundings.

The Law of Attraction certainly plays a part in this perception. I have coached hundreds of women who wanted a man who was clean and organized. Someone who presented himself as responsible and professional. Subconsciously they were looking for a man who was in control of his surroundings, had power, was a leader and could take care of himself. Which woman readily wants to take on the role of caretaker?

Being sensitive to my friend’s situation (they don’t call me the “go-to girl” of Law of Attraction for nothing!) I prodded her to see what was happening from another perspective.

You attract to your life whatever you give your attention, energy and focus to. Whether it is negative or positive.

Ask yourself where you need to clean up your act. Why are you feeling lost and confused? Where have you lost control in your life? What we don’t have in our own lives we will have difficulty attracting.

If you find yourself in a similar predicament, ask yourself:

- How organized are you?
- Is your home fairly tidy, do you pick up after yourself?
- Are your style and looks pulled together?
- Do you keep your appointments and meetings?
- Do you take pride in the things you own?
- Do you spend money on yourself?
- Do you take pride in yourself and your lifestyle?
- How much do you work improve yourself, to learn and grow?

For the Law of Attraction to work in a way that you want, and to attract that ideal partner, look at what you have attracted in previous relationships. Could you be repeating the same pattern over and over again?

Remember that the relationships we attract are a mirror of ourselves. Do you like what you are seeing in the mirror? Use the mirror of the relationships to clean up any areas of your life that need work.

Finally, get out there and enjoy yourself! There is an ocean of possibilities in the dating world.