Listen Up

You may have heard that effective communication is critical to building and maintaining good personal and professional relationships. This is very important since most of us spend 70% of our day communicating, and 45% of that time is spent listening. A great way to build better relationships with others is to improve our listening skills. Generally, there are 3 levels of listening that have different types of responses. A person who listens at Level 1 listens for how to apply what the other person is saying. A Level 2 listener responds with respect to the thought process of the other person. The most effective listening level is Level 3. At this level, the listener reflects the feelings behind the words of the other person.nHere are 2 examples with 3 different responses. As you read think about which sounds more like your typical response?nExample #1: n• ”I am planning to take a trip to Europe next summer. I have been saving up for a long time and I can’t wait to go.”nResponsenLevel 1 n• I remember when I traveled to Europe. I had a lot of fun. I really liked Rome and Paris.nLevel 2 n• That’s great. What airline are you taking? What’s your itinerary? Make sure your passport is up to date.nLevel 3 n• It sounds like you are very excited about this trip and really looking forward to going.

Example #2:n• I didn’t get the job. I had a great interview and I thought they really liked me. I don’t know what happened.nResponsenLevel 1n• That’s a bummer. Maybe you didn’t dress appropriately. I know the last time I didn’t get a job that I wanted I thought it might have been because I wasn’t wearing the right suit.nLevel 2 n• Sorry to hear that. Did you mention your experience working in that industry? Maybe you could call them to find out why you didn’t get the job.n Level 3 n• It is disappointing to not get the result you expected after so much preparation for the interview. It also sounds like you may be a little bit confused about why you didn’t get the job.nOver the next few weeks, try listening and responding at level 3 with the people who are most important to you in your life. Notice any changes in the conversation or even in the relationship.

Copyright 2008 Doreen Amatelli. All Rights Reserved